On the Go with Baby: A Stress-Free Guide to Getting Across Town or Around the World by Ericka Lutz

From the Publisher

A pack-up-and-go guide to get you and baby out of the house and on your way

From shopping at the grocery store to traveling Europe, parents will learn how to leave the house with their kids without having a panic attack. A reassuring book for parents who feared they’d never leave the house once they had kids.

Parents of young children will enjoy practical advice on packing, babyproofing a hotel room, how to choose a vacation, how to handle public tantrums, and anything else that could possibly happen outside the home. Text is humorous and written in an approachable and helpful tone so you can leave the house with Junior, an organized baby bag and your sanity!

Publishers Weekly

Lutz, a writing instructor at UC Berkeley and columnist for the Babyzone.com Web site, understands that many parents find traveling with their babies and toddlers a major hassle. Between the diapers, carriage, changes of clothing, toys and other paraphernalia, sometimes it's simpler to just stay home. A parent and inveterate traveler herself, Lutz shares her own experiences as she offer advice on different kinds of excursions, from plane trips to long car drives to strolls around the block. Some of her topics finding family-friendly hotels, choosing vacation spots can be found in other travel guides, but most of the book addresses specific baby-oriented issues like nursing on the road, eating out with infants and picky eaters, or taking kids to stadiums. A particularly useful chapter on work covers home offices, taking offspring on business trips, choosing child care and planning meetings around a baby's schedule. Lutz also includes a trouble-shooting section that covers a range of terrifying scenarios, from running out of baby wipes to traveling with the little one through malaria country. For first-time parents, this is a first-rate guide. (Apr.) Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information.

Product Details

• Table of Contents
• Read a Sample Chapter

Table of Contents

Read a Sample Chapter

Crawl Before You Walk

Meet it, accept it, and let it go.

—San Francisco self-actualization slogan, circa 1975

* * *

A Child Is Born

Let's begin at the beginning. Your baby has come to live with you in one of the ways that babies do. He's arrived with a lot of gear, and with an agenda and schedule all his own. You want to travel, but just getting into the car with him takes forty minutes, what with the gear, the loading, the diaper change, the other diaper change, and now baby is hungry, and, "Did I pack that little teeny sweater—where is that little sweater anyway? Oops, I'd better start a laundry so we have clean clothes to come home to, and ... oh no, better do another diaper change. Oh. Shame to take him out when he's sleeping so nicely."

    Europe, Florida, Hawaii, the neighbor's house ... they all seem a million light-years away in distance and time. That was a different lifetime when you fantasized about Berlin nightclubs and romantic Alpine hikes. That was a different you. Besides, it's too tiring. Forget Paris—let's take a nap.

    Whoa—hang on, Sloopy. It's becoming evident that—like the child squirming in front of you—before you walk, you gotta learn to crawl. This chapter provides a brief overview of basic and not-so-basic child-care skills that will translate to anywhere in the world.

Crawling

Travel and parenting require the same three skills—flexibility, good humor, and a sense that life itself is an adventure.These skills take time to learn. Have you watched a baby learn to crawl? She's on her knees rocking, one minute sobbing in frustration, the next, giggling with joy. Developmental movement experts Peter Brown and Vicki Gunter of Oakland, California, stress the importance of allowing an infant to go at her own developmental pace, and not be pushed into sitting, standing, or walking before she can do these things by herself: "An infant who is crawling on the floor is organizing and programming her nervous system. She is laying the foundation for walking, running, reading, math, and creative thinking."

    The same is true for parenting, and for travel. The keys to your successful future travels are found here at home. As a new parent, you don't know how to crawl yet. Don't push it. If you take the time to learn to "crawl" effectively, the next thing you know, you'll have the skills to run around the rest of your life.

    Your first jaunts with your infant will rarely be more ambitious than walking to the video store a few blocks away and stopping in at Farmer Joe's Market to buy a few organic nectarines and a box of cereal. That's cool, they shouldn't be. Adjusting to new parenthood requires time. If you've given birth, your body needs time to heal from its ordeal. If you haven't given birth, you're still adjusting to a completely new life. Give yourself time.

Reprogramming Your Nervous System

Before your sweet bambino came to live with you, you organized your life one way. Now everything has changed. If you're going to travel with your baby, you need to reorganize—you need to reprogram your own nervous system.

    The first months of parenting, you'll be deeply involved in the new emotional and physical aspects of being a parent and getting to know your new baby. Many of us spend hours poring over parenting books written by experts, looking for clues. Good parenting is about combining common sense with love. Read the experts (I've included my favorites in the Recommended Readings Appendix), and remember that none of them are right all the time—they don't know you, and they don't know your baby. The most valuable piece of advice I received from any expert is on the first page of the baby-care classic, Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care: "Trust Yourself."

    Though you'll probably stay close to home for the first few months, this time with your baby is the time to build the tools that later on will let you feel comfortable journeying anywhere together.

Traveling with a Newborn

No matter how you slice it, gallivanting for pleasure with a teeny infant is not the best idea. Give her a chance to master a small part of the world, and give yourself a chance to rest. If you need to travel during the first three months, relax and go with the flow. (I know a woman who hitchhiked from Alaska to Philadelphia with a ten-day-old baby. Of course, it was the '60s....) For gentle travel, it's your comfort that's largely at stake. Remember, for your newborn, home equals you. Cuddle her close.

    If you plan on taking your newborn or infant to a medically "risky" locale, make sure you talk seriously with your pediatrician before you go. Babies are not fully inoculated until at least eighteen months. Maintain breastfeeding if at all possible—it is the best way to boost your baby's immune system.

Safety, Fear, and Exhaustion

Let's get serious for a moment. Sometimes the whole idea of planning, packing, and going somewhere strange feels overwhelming—even wrong. The main objections most parents have to traveling with children can be divided into two areas: safety issues, and concerns about the hassles and exhaustion of being on the road.

    I understand. As soon as I got pregnant, my sense of what I was willing to risk changed profoundly. The world suddenly had sharp corners—I was no longer Wild Ericka, jaunting around the world, flinging myself into danger and experience. No, I was nervous crossing the street. I felt conflicted—overjoyed to have new life inside me, deeply aware that I was responsible for a life other than my own, and terrified about the restrictions a baby might put on my life.

The Voices of Fear and Despair

The Voice of Fear hisses in our ears as we admire the tropical beach posters in the local travel agency window. It begins its relentless squawk as we sit in a pile of clean laundry, toys, and suitcases that must be organized, packed, and stowed in the car some time in the next six minutes. Here it comes ... listen for it ... does it sound familiar?

    "Don't go! There are serial killers out there! Besides, Malcolm hates new places, Eliza eats nothing but buttered noodles, and Baby Barbara is terrified by men with beards. Think about your delicately balanced routine! And what about all those strange diseases—malaria, Montezuma's Revenge, Ebola?!"

    The Voice of Fear is often accompanied by its ugly sidekick, the Voice of Despair: "Life as you know it is over. No more itsy-bitsy overnight bags for a week on the Riviera—now you have to hire a U-haul for a weekend at the beach. Here's your new scenario: dragging bags o' stuff, desperately seeking places to feed the baby, chasing the hyperactive little toddler around a strange city. A vacation? Ha! Try again in eighteen years when the little squirmer goes to college."

Minimizing the Hassles

To defeat the Voices of Fear and Despair, you have to prepare. The more you prepare, the fewer hassles you'll have. True, maneuvering a baby or young child through life can be an exhausting, awful hassle. But it doesn't have to be! And while wandering with the teeny ones is not without its complications, once you understand what to expect and how to pace yourself, once you rid yourself of the fear of the unknown, you can change a dreaded experience into a great time. Read on—this book is designed to help you minimize the hassles and free yourself for the joy.

Ericka's #1 Law of Baby Travel

    The slower you go, the less exhausted you'll be.

Keeping Your Children Safe

Your approach to the world helps determine how your child will live—seizing adventure and opportunity carefully but with enthusiasm; or hiding, timid, from its dangers. Yes, the world has real dangers in it. You keep your child safe by being realistic about these dangers, taking certain precautions, and fostering autonomy and self-reliance. You can't keep a child safe by locking her away from the world.

    Educate them. I believe that you teach small children safety by teaching them not to fear the world, but to be aware of all the world has in it, good and bad. Teach them how much control they do have in their lives by educating them about the world.

    Involve them. Involve little kids in the world, and involve them in decisions about their bodies. Get them active and doing—if they feel in physical control of their bodies, they'll be clearer about their own boundaries.

    Embrace the world. Children are perceptive; if they sense your fear of the world, they will fear it, too. Better to embrace the world, with all its dangers. After all, the dangers won't disappear just because you close your eyes to them.

Babyproofing—At Home and at Aunt Martha's

Part of getting comfortable with a baby is feeling safe, and feeling safe means taking certain precautions. Right before Annie learned to crawl, I finally got off my fattening duff and babyproofed. You need to do this, too. If it feels too overwhelming, do one or two rooms first—say, the room where baby sleeps and the living room, if you've got one. Wherever you are in the world, you need to relax occasionally, and no parent can be utterly vigilant every minute of every hour of every day. Creating a space where you know your child can exist in safety and peace will be a boon to you and your child. Then you can barricade the rest of the domicile until it, too, is ready.

    The first step is educating yourself about what presents a danger to Snookums—beyond the standard finger-in-plug or "tasty" drink of Drano. There are lots of books and resources available to help you with this venture. Some people with disposable income pay consultants to advise them, or to do the job for them. This is not strictly necessary (you're saving your bucks for travel, remember?).

    When you're on the road, you may not be able to arrange everything exactly as it should be, but you can try. The list below will help you assess and babyproof whatever environment you may find yourself in. (I've put some additional details about babyproofing hotel rooms in chapter 9.)

The Take-It-With-You Emergency Babyproofing Assessment

Get on the floor at baby-eye level. (Come on, I know you haven't been getting to the gym regularly, but you gotta start somewhere!) What looks inviting? Interesting.; Dangerous?

    * Where are the cleaning supplies? Check the kitchen cabinets and remove the substances or secure the doors.

    * Medicines: Get them way up and out of the way. (This is a good time to mention the importance of carrying Syrup of Ipecac to induce vomiting after ingestion of potential poisons. Call a Poison Control Center or your physician before administering—it's not for use in all situations.)

    * Windows: Are there gates? If not, how hard is it to get the windows open and how far is it to the ground? Do the blinds have accessible cords? Tuck them away or tie them up. Horrible stories abound about strangulated little ones. I won't repeat them here.

    * Check for outlets, electrical cords, and appliances. Carry plastic covers for open outlets—they're cheap, small, and light.

     * Remove sharp objects lying around on floors or low surfaces.

    * Coins, shiny and delectable, present a risk of choking. Now is the time to find all that couch change you were saving for a rainy day. Use it on a trip to the hardware store—to buy childproofing safety devices!

    * Turn down the water heater to a maximum of 120 Fahrenheit.

    * Staircases are a hazard for the crawling child and the new toddler. Get gates—they come in a variety of designs for all needs.

    * Bookcases: Your child might suddenly start channeling the ghost of Sir Edmund Hilary and decide to scale the peaks. Is the bookcase attached to the wall? Pull out all the books and reorganize, either putting the largest and heaviest, or the ones you don't mind having strewn about, on the bottom shelf.

    * Is the bureau stable? Check for lamps and other unstable furniture that might not stand up to standing up.

    * Corners of tables, bookshelves, etc.: Move 'em or pad 'em.

    * Many house plants are poisonous. Move all plants out of your child's reach.

    * Fabergé eggs and other fragile knick-knacks need to be moved up and away.

    * Floor heaters? Ducts? Vents? The burner knobs on the stove? Does that oven, freezer, or refrigerator door open too easily? You may need to create temporary barriers to keep danger areas off-limits.

    * Kitchen knives? Firearms? Make sure these are not remotely accessible.

    * Open toilets (there are a variety of childproof and not too adultproof toilet locks on the market).

    * The fireplace: Glass doors get very hot, fireplace tools are heavy and ill-balanced. If you have a wire screen, you might want to wire it shut for the duration (not usually more than a year or three).

    * Can Baby escape through the front or back door?

    Once you get used to the routine, it will take you only a few minutes to create a relatively child-safe space. When traveling, babyproofing is a good way to accustom yourself to a new environment. We tend to plunge from activity to activity without taking those few moments of emotional adjustment that both children and grown-ups need, especially when we're excited and "on-the-road." Assessing your surroundings for danger provides an extra moment to breathe.

Sleep—How To

Whole library shelves are devoted to the subject of baby and child sleep patterns. Through my own copious anecdotal research (i.e., the whining of friends), I've come to the following conclusion: this is child-rearing. Welcome. Get used to the following fact: one way or another, your child will get enough sleep, but you may not.

    Author Penelope Leach divides parents into two rough divisions: those who take the Happy-Go-Lucky-Approach, and those who go for the Regular Routine approach. Both have their advantages and drawbacks. And, you might not have a lot of choice in the matter. Your baby's individual temperament will help determine which approach you will take.

Sleep Patterns

At the beginnings of their lives, some glorious babies sleep around fifteen hours a day. I think of this as nature's way of allowing parents to catch up on life—the problem is that these fifteen hours are not sequential; they are spread randomly throughout the day and night as she drifts in and out of slumber. Many active newborns sleep as little as ten hours in forty-minute segments (sigh). With all this up-and-down, it is very difficult to do as the doctor orders: "Sleep when the baby sleeps."

    By the time a baby is twelve weeks old, she is awake for longer periods of time and more alert. The good news is that she cries less. The bad news is that her sleeping is still irregular and unpredictable. An older baby sleeps somewhere between nine and eighteen hours a day (thirteen hours is about average) depending upon her own rhythms and needs.

    Once a baby reaches nine months or so, she is able to keep herself awake. This is when a vacation can wreak havoc on the Regular-Routiners—even after you get back home. For toddlers and preschoolers, sleep patterns and problems may vary with each child. What the hell, take the vacation. If sleep isn't easy at home, why should it be any easier on the road?

    Sleep deprivation is not a foregone conclusion. Many babies go down easily and sleep through the night. Many kids do, too. My lovely daughter, Annie, is not one of them. At the best moments, I cast a lovely light on this: "Wow! She's so engaged. She's too excited by life to sleep!" At the worst moments, I hate her guts. "Go to sleep you lousy little insomniac," I mutter under my breath.

    It doesn't help that she's probably genetically wired to be a terrible sleeper—Bill and I are up and down all night—trips to the bathroom, jaunts to the office to jot down that pressing thought, journeys to the kitchen for hot milk and buttered toast to soothe the worried mind. So, it's probably no wonder we ended up with a family bed ... without it, we'd probably have just added another destination to our nighttime rambles: "Gee, I wonder if the baby is still alive. I'd better check!"

(Continues...)

---

Excerpted from On the Go With Baby by Ericka Lutz. Copyright © 2002 by Ericka Lutz. Excerpted by permission. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

---