Darkest Fear (Myron Bolitar Series #7) by Harlan Coben

From Barnes & Noble

Bolitar Speechless? Shocking, but True
He's smart-mouthed. He's shrewd. And try as he may, he just can't seem to live a simple life as a sports agent. Myron Bolitar is back, and he's about to find himself speechless, in Edgar Award-winning Harlan Coben's latest, Darkest Fear.

Things are not looking good at MB Sportsreps. Business is floundering, their client wall is looking like a patchwork of has-beens, and even Myron's receptionist, Big Cyndi, is throwing in the towel. Myron's personal life is in a shambles as well -- he's crashing at Win's Central Park West apartment, his parents are selling the house he grew up in, and his father is not in good health. It looks like things can't get any worse, until his ex-girlfriend from college, Emily, calls him with news that will change his life forever.

Emily, who married Myron's on-court archrival from days as a college basketball player, Greg Downing (who, incidentally, ended Myron's career with a knee injury), has troubles of her own. Her son, Jeremy, is dying of leukemia, and only a bone-marrow transplant can save his life. In a twist of fate that could turn fatal, they've found a match in the marrow registry -- but the mysterious donor is nowhere to be found. And then Emily hits him with the really big news: Jeremy is Myron's son, conceived the night before Emily married Greg. Floored by sudden fatherhood and the fear that it will all be taken from him before he has the chance to understand what this revelation might mean, Myron will stop at nothing to find the mysterious donor.

But even with the expert assistance of Esperanza and Win, his manhunt proves to be the challenge of a lifetime, and he's going to need all the help he can get -- even going so far as to grudgingly team up with his former rival, Greg. Spying the donor's name out of the registry's confidential files, Myron and Greg follow a lead to rural Connecticut. And while what they find appears to be a deadend, it raises more questions than answers, and they soon realize they've opened the door to a nightmare of inestimable proportions.

The name of the donor, Davis Taylor, appears to be the new identity of Dennis Lex, a long-missing son of a wealthy and infamously private novelist, Raymond Lex. But why would Dennis Lex change his name, and why would he vanish without a trace? But that's just the beginning. It seems Dennis Lex, or Davis Taylor, is in some way affiliated with an unemployed journalist with a dark past, Stan Gibbs, who was fired for publishing a plagiarized interview with a serial kidnapper. It seems the "Sow the Seeds" kidnapper, a vicious sociopath who thrived on the darkest fears of his victims' families, was a fictional character stolen straight out of a horror novel. And no one believes he is real -- until he resurfaces and strikes again.

Darkest Fear is more than a mystery; it is also a story about fatherhood, about homecoming, and about the basest of human instincts. But while this is a case that hits home for Myron, don't worry -- he's not getting completely sappy on you. He's every bit the cocky smart-ass you expect him to be, and more. With the stakes raised, Myron roars through this novel with a mouth that cracks like a whip, with his fearsome sidekick Win who likes to crack skulls. As they get closer and closer to the missing donor and possibly the kidnapper, this novel positively sizzles with some of the hottest detective work you've ever seen and twists and turns that would make even the most savvy sleuth trip on his laces.

Harlan Coben throws out the playbook in this new novel, which is a full-court press with suspense and full of surprises in the final quarter. Myron Bolitar fans: This one is a slam dunk.

Elise Vogel is a freelance writer who lives in New York City.

From the Publisher

Edgar Award-winner Harlan Coben brings us his most astonishing—and deeply personal—novel yet. And it all begins when Myron Bolitar's ex tells him he's a father ... of a dying thirteen-year-old boy.

Myron never saw it coming. A surprise visit from an ex-girlfriend is unsettling enough. But Emily Downing's news brings him to his knees. Her son Jeremy is dying and needs a bone-marrow transplant—from a donor who has vanished without a trace. Then comes the real shocker: The boy is Myron's son, conceived the night before her wedding to another man.

Staggered by the news, Myron plunges into a search for the missing donor. But finding him means cracking open a dark mystery that involves a broken family, a brutal kidnapping spree, and the FBI. Somewhere in the sordid mess is the donor who disappeared. And as doubts emerge about Jeremy's true paternity, a child vanishes, igniting a chain reaction of heartbreaking truth and chilling revelation.

Romantic Times - Toby Bromberg

Harlan Coben has outdone himself with Darkest Fear, the thrill read of the season. This plot is a nail-biter, and Coben explores the relationships between fathers and sons as keenly as he plots suspense.

Barnes & Noble Guide to New Fiction

"Witty" sports agent Myron Bolitar faces the toughest case of his career, when his ex-girlfriend reappears with devastating news: Not only is her thirteen-year-old son dying, but the boy is Bolitar's biological son, conceived the night before her wedding to another man. "An exciting story with plenty of twists and turns. Never a lull in the action." "An excellent afternoon's escape." "Jerry Maguire, move over."

Publishers Weekly

Book seven in Coben's wonderfully rich series (after 1999's The Final Detail), which features sports agent Myron Bolitar, former basketball player and totally believable human being, is all about fathers, sons and the intricate and often painful chains that link them together. Myron, who has just moved out of his parents' house at the age of 34, is worried about his father's health after a heart attack, but it's hard for either of them to talk about the older man's condition. Myron tends to have long relationships with women that end in tears. ("You're in your mid-thirties, single, sensitive, and you like show tunes," says his current lover, a troubled television star. "If you were a better dresser, I'd say you were gay.") Emily, his college girlfriend from Duke who dumped him for a more successful basketball rival, re-enters the picture to tell him that her critically ill 13-year-old son needs a bone marrow transplant, but the only suitable registered donor has disappeared. Can Myron find him? And, by the way--Myron is the boy's real father. The search takes Myron deep into some decades-old unsolved crimes involving another father and son--a sadistic deranged killer and a conflicted newspaper columnist. Myron's deadly preppy friend, Win, is on hand to supply his own frightening brand of violence, and the gorgeous Esperanza Diaz, the former wrestler who's now a full partner in MB SportsReps, supplies wisdom as well as glamour. But the heart of the novel is, as always, the fallible but infinitely appealing, accessible figure of Myron Bolitar--a modern Don Quixote complete with knee brace and cell phone, ready to take on the world's problems. (June) Copyright 2000 Cahners Business Information.|

Library Journal

Manhattan sports agent Myron Bolitar is shocked when his former college lover informs him he is the father of her 13-year-old son, who has anemia. But the girlfriend--now inimically divorced from her husband--only uses that fact to convince him to locate the boy's bone-marrow donor, who has disappeared. Bolitar's subsequent quest pits him against a wealthy, publicity-shy, and bitterly scrapping family with hitherto secret connections to a crazed kidnapper. Crisp, focused prose, a wisecracking but gallant hero, and a busy plot make this essential for most collections. Copyright 2000 Cahners Business Information.\

School Library Journal

YA-Struggling to keep his sports agency afloat, Myron Bolitar is not thrilled to have a former girlfriend resurface after many years. Sadly, her 13-year-old son desperately needs a bone-marrow transplant from a person who has mysteriously disappeared. The woman asks for Myron's help in locating the missing donor and confides to him that he is the boy's father. Against his better judgment, the protagonist begins to search for the man who can save Jeremy's life. The plot twists are numerous as Myron stumbles upon a powerful family hiding a grave secret, a serial killer reinvented from a plagiarized novel, and a missing person with a dual identity. Myron's wit and personality- plus his partners, Win and lesbian-wrestler lawyer Esperanza-add a light touch whenever the novel becomes too dark. Suspense, mystery, DNA matching, missing persons, and a shoot-out at the end will keep YAs enthralled. This seventh book in the series will make new fans and not disappoint old ones.-Katherine Fitch, Rachel Carson Middle School, Fairfax, VA Copyright 2000 Cahners Business Information.

Kirkus Reviews

Years after a mauled knee ended his basketball career in his first preseason game, sports agent Myron Bolitar is still taking body blows. The latest is the news that he has a son by Emily Downing, the college sweetheart whose wedding to rival hoopster Greg Downing he celebrated perhaps too vigorously with her the night before. Emily's kept her secret for 13 years, but now that Jeremy's been diagnosed with life-threatening Fanconi anemia, she begs his help in locating a bone-marrow donor who'd be a perfect match for their son if only he hadn't vanished. And it gets worse. Myron's search for the missing donor swiftly drags him into the nightmare world of a serial kidnapper whose whispered phone mantra to his victims' loved ones—"Sow the seeds"—has been spreading terror for years; to the reporter whose exclusive stories on the kidnapper sent his career soaring before wrecking it and killing his girlfriend; and to the obscenely wealthy Lex family, whose members aren't shy about using their money to destroy anyone who crosses their path—anyone like Myron, for instance. As the complications deepen, the oppressively playful badinage of the opening chapters falls away, revealing Coben (The Final Detail, 1999, etc.) once again as one of the most inventive plotters in the business—until he tries one spin too many with an epilogue that's too twisty, too sentimental, and way too long. Even so, Myron runs rings around most of the tough-guy competition in the amateur division, like a class clown who's much more than just a funny face.

Product Details

• Table of Contents
• Interviews & Essays
• Read an Excerpt

Table of Contents

Interviews & Essays

B&N.com: Myron's got his hands pretty full in Darkest Fear. For the benefit of those unfamiliar with your new novel, what is he -- along with Win, Esperanza, and Co. -- up against?

Harlan Coben: Darkest Fear is a suspense thriller about fathers and sons. Right away, Myron is hit with a double whammy. His college sweetheart tells him that her 13-year-old son Jeremy will die without a bone-marrow transplant and that the donor has vanished. And then, before Myron can digest this news, she hits him with a bigger surprise: Jeremy is actually Myron's son.

B&N.com: Tell us a bit about Myron Bolitar. Who is this guy?

Harlan Coben: Myron is a big-hearted, wisecracking sports agent/sleuth who loves his family and friends and can't stay out of trouble. Like most of us, he tries his best but he messes up. He's hopelessly confused in affairs of the heart. He's vulnerable yet courageous.

B&N.com: What is your darkest fear?

HC: That no one will read the book. Drum roll. Thank you, I'm here all week.

B&N.com: There's a lot of "dark" in Darkest Fear. Seems even Myron has a dark side. I mean, I know this fatherhood thing can be stressful, but he beat that lawyer silly. How do you think Myron handled the situation?

HC: Not well -- but realistically. We all have breaking points. Fiction should be about the unsafe, the edges, the foul lines. I love to play there.

B&N.com: There's a lot of "dark" in Darkest Fear, but there's a lot of laughs too. Like Myron, do you believe laughter is a good -- if not the best -- medicine?

HC: I'm not sure Myron believes that. He uses humor as a defense mechanism, too. When he gets nervous, he has a tendency to wisecrack. That's where most of the humor comes from -- that, and people. Let's face it. People are dang funny.

B&N.com: Bone-marrow cancer plays a large roll in Darkest Fear. I was horrified to learn how insanely difficult it is for those inflicted to find a matching donor. What can your average Joe do to help?

HC: Please call 1-800-MARROW2. All you have to do is give a little blood -- less than you would for a blood donation -- and you can save a life. Amazing when you think about it.

B&N.com: Darkest Fear touches on another shocking issue: corruption in journalism -- plagiarism, made-up sources, made-up dialogue, even made-up conversations. Any idea how rampant a problem this is in the real world?

HC: My sources -- excellent reporters at top-notch media venues -- tell me that it's definitely out there and that it gets worse. Like every other business, reporting is competitive. People often cheat to get an advantage.

B&N.com: Think Myron will ever tie the knot? How about Win? Do you get many fan letters pleading for a Myron/Esperanza romance? Or are folks happy with Terese?

HC: It's a funny thing. I plan my endings and work very hard on my plots. But as for what happens in Myron's personal life...well, that's a pretty organic process. Will he stay with Terese? Will he and Win always be friends? Will Esperanza work out as Myron's business partner? I don't know. But I look forward to finding out.

B&N.com: Darkest Fear combines suspense and humor with insight into father-son relationships. At this stage in his life, Myron's on both sides of the coin -- he's a father (sort of) and a son. Do you think Myron will make a good father?

HC: Yes. But we'll have to see. I don't want to give away much, but Esperanza offers wonderful insight into this situation late in the book. I'll let the reader find out where.

B&N.com: Two of your female characters, Esperanza and Big Cyndi, are former professional wrestlers. Be honest now: Are you a fan of F.L.O.W. (Fabulous Ladies of Wrestling)?

HC: Uh, no. But I love these two characters. They are warm and funny and real and oh-so-dear to me. I'm glad people react so strongly to them.

B&N.com: What's up next for Mr. Bolitar? Ever think of writing a non-Myron Bolitar novel?

HC: Actually, the next novel, Big Tears Fall, is not a Myron book. It will be out in Summer 2001.

B&N.com: Looking forward to it. Harlan, thanks so much for answering our questions today. Best of luck with Darkest Fear!

HC: Thanks, dude. You go, boy!

Read an Excerpt

An hour before his world exploded like a ripe tomato under a stiletto heel, Myron bit into a fresh pastry that tasted suspiciously like a urinal cake.

"Well?" Mom prompted.

Myron battled his throat, won a costly victory, swallowed. "Not bad."

Mom shook her head, disappointed.

"What?"

"I'm a lawyer," Mom said. "You'd think I'd have raised a better liar."

"You did the best you could," Myron said.

She shrugged and waved a hand at the, uh, pastry. "It's my first time baking, bubbe. It's okay to tell me the truth."

"It's like biting into a urinal cake," Myron said.

"A what?"

"In men's public bathrooms. In the urinals. They put them there for the smell or something."

"And you eat them?"

"No—"

"Is that why your father takes so long in there? He's having a little Tastykake? And here I thought his prostate was acting up."

"I'm joking, Mom."

She smiled through blue eyes tinged with a red that Visine could never hope to get out, the red you can only get through slow, steady tears. Normally Mom was heavily into histrionics. Slow, steady tears were not her style. "So am I, Mr. Smarty Pants. You think you're the only one in this family with a sense of humor?"

Myron said nothing. He looked down at the, uh, pastry, fearing or perhaps hoping it might crawl away. In the thirty-plus years his mother had lived in this house, she had never baked — not from a recipe, not from scratch, not even from one of those Pillsbury morningcroissant thingies that came in small mailing tubes. She could barely boil water without strict instructions and pretty much never cooked, though she could whip up a mean Celeste frozen pizza in the microwave, her agile fingers dancing across the numerical keypad in the vein of Nureyev at Lincoln Center. No, in the Bolitar household, the kitchen was more a gathering place — a Family Room Lite, if you will — than anything related to even the basest of the culinary arts. The round table held magazines and catalogs and congealing white boxes of Chinese takeout. The stovetop saw less action than a Merchant-Ivory production. The oven was a prop, strictly for show, like a politician's Bible.

Something was definitely amiss.

They were sitting in the living room with the dated pseudo-leather white modular couch and aqua-tinged rug whose shagginess reminded Myron of a toilet-seat cover. Grown-up Greg Brady. Myron kept stealing glances out the picture window at the For Sale sign in the front yard as though it were a spaceship that had just landed and something sinister was about to step out.

"Where's Dad?"

Mom gave a weary wave toward the door. "He's in the basement."

"In my room?"

"Your old room, yes. You moved out, remember?"

He did — at the tender age of thirty-four no less. Childcare experts would salivate and tsk-tsk over that one — the prodigal son choosing to remain in his split-level cocoon long after the deemed appropriate deadline for the butterfly to break free. But Myron might argue the opposite. He might bring up the fact that for generations and in most cultures, offspring lived in the familial home until a ripe old age, that adopting such a philosophy could indeed be a societal boom, helping people stay rooted to something tangible in this era of the disintegrating nuclear family. Or, if that rationale didn't float your boat, Myron could try another. He had a million.

But the truth of the matter was far simpler: He liked hanging out in the burbs with Mom and Dad — even if confessing such a sentiment was about as hip as an Air Supply eight track.

"So what's going on?" he asked.

"Your father doesn't know you're here yet," she said. "He thinks you're not coming for another hour."

Myron nodded, puzzled. "What's he doing in the basement?"

"He bought a computer. Your father plays with it down there."

"Dad?"

"My point exactly. The man can't change a lightbulb without a manual — all of a sudden he's Bill Gates. Always on the nest."

"The Net," Myron corrected.

"The what?"

"It's called the Net, Mom."

"I thought it was nest. The bird's nest or something."

"No, it's Net."

"Are you sure? I know there's a bird in there somewhere."

"The Web maybe," Myron tried. "Like with a spider."

She snapped her fingers. "That's it. Anyway your father is on there all the time, weaving the Web or whatever. He chats with people, Myron. That's what he tells me. He chats with complete strangers. Like he used to do with the CB radio, remember?"

Myron remembered. Circa 1976. Jewish Dads in the suburbs checking for "smokeys" on the way to the delicatessen. Mighty convoy of Cadillac Sevilles. Ten-four, good buddy.

"And that's not all," she went on. "He's typing his memoirs. A man who can't scribble down a grocery list without consulting Strunk and White suddenly thinks he's an ex-president."

They were selling the house. Myron still could not believe it. His eyes wandered about the overly familiar surroundings, his gaze getting snagged on the photographs running up the stairwell. He saw his family mature via fashion — the skirts and sideburns lengthening and shortening, the quasi-hippie fringes and suede and tie-dyes, the leisure suits and bell-bottoms, the frilly tuxedos that would be too tacky for a Vegas casino — the years flying by frame by frame like one of those depressing life insurance commercials. He spotted the poses from his basketball days — a sixth-grade suburban-league foul shot, an eighth-grade drive to the hoop, a high school slam dunk — the row ending with Sports Illustrated cover shots, two from his days at Duke and one with his leg in a cast and a large-fonted IS HE FINISHED? emblazoned across his knee-cast image (the answer in the mind's eye being an equally large-fonted YES!).

"So what's wrong?" he asked.

"I didn't say anything was wrong."

Myron shook his head, disappointed. "And you a lawyer."

"Setting a bad example?"

"It's no wonder I never ran for higher office."

She folded her hands on her lap. "We need to chat."

Myron didn't like the tone.

"But not here," she added. "Let's take a walk around the block."

Myron nodded and they rose. Before they reached the door, his cell phone rang. Myron snatched it up with a speed that would have made Wyatt Earp step back. He put the phone to his ear and cleared his throat.

"MB SportsReps," he said, silky-smooth, professional-like. "This is Myron Bolitar speaking."

"Nice phone voice," Esperanza said. "You sound like Billy Dee ordering two Colt 45s."

Esperanza Diaz was his longtime assistant and now sports-agent partner at MB SportsReps (M for Myron, the B for Bolitar — for those keeping score).

"I was hoping you were Lamar," he said.

"He hasn't called yet?"

"Nope."

He could almost see Esperanza frown. "We're in deep doo-doo here," she said.

"We're not in deep doo-doo. We're just sucking a little wind, that's all."

"Sucking a little wind," Esperanza repeated. "Like Pavarotti running the Boston Marathon."

"Good one," Myron said.

"Thanks."

Lamar Richardson was a power-hitting Golden Glove shortstop who'd just become a free agent — "free agent" being a phrase agents whisper in the same way a mufti might whisper "Praise Allah." Lamar was shopping for new representation and had whittled his final list down to three agencies: two supersized conglomerates with enough office space to house a Price Club and the aforementioned pimple-on-the-buttocks but oh-so-personal MB SportsReps. Go, pimple-butt!

Myron watched his mother standing by the door. He switched ears and said, "Anything else?"

"You'll never guess who called," Esperanza said.

"Elle and Claudia demanding another menage a trois?"

"Oooo, close."

She would never just tell him. With his friends, everything was a TV game show. "How about a hint?" he said.

"One of your ex-lovers."

He felt a jolt. "Jessica."

Esperanza made a buzzing noise. "Sorry, wrong bitch."

Myron was puzzled. He'd only had two long-term relationships in his life: Jessica on and off for the past thirteen years (now very off). And before that, well, you'd have to go back to...

"Emily Downing?"

Esperanza made a ding-ding noise.

A sudden image pierced his heart like a straight-blade. He saw Emily sitting on that threadbare couch in the frat basement, smiling that smile at him, her legs bent and tucked under her, wearing his high school varsity jacket that was several sizes too big, her gesturing hands slipping down and disappearing into the sleeves.

His mouth went dry. "What did she want?"

"Don't know. But she said that she simply had to talk to you. She's very breathy, you know. Like everything she says is a double entendre."

With Emily, everything was.

"She good in the sack?" Esperanza asked.

Being an overly attractive bisexual, Esperanza viewed everyone as a potential sex partner. Myron wondered what that must be like, to have and thus weigh so many options, and then he decided to leave that road untraveled. Wise man.

"What did Emily say exactly?" Myron said.

"Nothing specific. She just spewed out a colorful assortment of breathy teasers: urgent, life-and-death, grave matters, etceteras, etceteras."

"I don't want to talk to her."

"I didn't think so. If she calls back, you want me to give her the runaround?"

"Please."

"Mas tarde then."

He hung up as a second image whacked him like a surprise wave at the beach. Senior year at Duke. Emily so composed as she dumped the varsity jacket onto his bed and walked out. Not long after that, she married the man who'd ruin Myron's life.

Deep breaths, he told himself. In and out. That's it.

"Everything okay?" Mom asked.

"Fine."

Mom shook her head again, disappointed.

"I'm not lying," he said.

"Fine, right, sure, you always breathe like an obscene phone call. Listen, if you don't want to tell your mother—"

"I don't want to tell my mother."

"Who raised you and..."

Myron tuned her out, as was his custom. She was digressing again, taking on a past life or something. It was something she did a lot. One minute she was thoroughly modern, an early feminist who marched alongside Gloria Steinem and became proof that — to quote her old T-shirt — A Woman's Place Is in the House ... and Senate. But at the sight of her son, her progressive attire slid to the floor and revealed the babushka-clad yenta beneath the burned bra. It made for an interesting childhood.

They headed out the front door. Myron kept his eyes on the For Sale sign as though it might suddenly brandish a gun. His mind flashed onto something he had never actually seen — the sunny day when Mom and Dad had arrived here for the first time, hand in hand, Mom's belly swelling with child, both of them scared and exhilarated realizing that this cookie-cut three-bedroom split-level would be their life vessel, their SS American Dream. Now, like it or not, that journey was coming to an end. Forget that "close one door, open another" crap. That For Sale sign marked the end — the end of youth, of middle age, of a family, the universe of two people who'd started here and fought here and raised kids here and worked and carpooled and lived their lives here.

They walked up the street. Leaves were piled along the curb, the surest sign of suburban autumn, while leaf blowers shattered the still air like helicopters over Saigon. Myron took the inside track so his path would skim the piles' edges. The dead leaves crackled under his sneakers and he liked that. He wasn't sure why.

"Your father spoke to you," Mom said, half-question. "About what happened to him."

Myron felt his stomach tense up. He veered deeper into the leaves, lifting his legs high and crunching louder. "Yes."

"What did he say exactly?" Mom asked.

"That he'd had chest pains while I was in the Caribbean."

The Kaufman house had always been yellow, but the new family had painted it white. It looked wrong with the new color, out of place. Some homes had gone the aluminum-siding route, while others had built on additions, bumping out the kitchens and master bedrooms. The young family who'd moved into the Miller home had gotten rid of the Millers' trademark overflowing flower boxes. The new owners of the Davis place had ripped out those wonderful shrubs Bob Davis had worked on every weekend. It all reminded Myron of an invading army ripping down the flags of the conquered.

"He didn't want to tell you," Mom said. "You know your father. He still feels he has to protect you."

Myron nodded, stayed in the leaves.

Then she said, "It was more than chest pains."

Myron stopped.

"It was a full-blown coronary," she went on, not meeting his eyes. "He was in intensive care for three days." She started blinking. "The artery was almost entirely blocked."

Myron felt his throat close.

"It's changed him. I know how much you love him, but you have to accept that."

"Accept what?"

Her voice was gentle and firm. "That your father is getting older. That I'm getting older."

He thought about it. "I'm trying," he said.

"But?"

"But I see that For Sale sign—"

"Wood and bricks and nails, Myron."

"What?"

She waded through the leaves and took hold of his elbow. "Listen to me. You mope around here like we're sitting shiva, but that house is not your childhood. It isn't a part of your family. It doesn't breathe or think or care. It's just wood and bricks and nails."

"You've lived there for almost thirty-five years."

"So?"

He turned away, kept walking.

"Your father wants to be honest with you," she said, "but you're not making it any easier."

"Why? What did I do?"

She shook her head, looked up into the sky as though willing divine inspiration, continued walking. Myron stayed by her side. She snaked her arm under his elbow and leaned against him.

"You were always a terrific athlete," she said. "Not like your father. Truth be told, your father was a spaz."

"I know this," Myron said.

"Right. You know this because your father never pretended to be something he wasn't. He let you see him as human — vulnerable even. And it had a strange effect on you. You worshipped him all the more. You turned him into something almost mythical."

Myron thought about it, didn't argue. He shrugged and said, "I love him."

"I know, sweetheart. But he's just a man. A good man. But now he's getting old and he's scared. Your father always wanted you to see him as human. But he doesn't want you to see him scared."

Myron kept his head down. There are certain things you cannot picture your parents doing — having sex being the classic example. Most people cannot — probably should not even try to — picture their parents in flagrante delicto. But right now Myron was trying to conjure up another taboo image, one of his father sitting alone in the dark, hand on his chest, scared, and the sight, while achievable, was aching, unbearable. When he spoke again, his voice was thick. "So what should I do?"