Standing The Watch by R.J. Brown
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(Paperback)
- Pub. Date: July 2008
- 228pp
- Sales Rank: 254,447
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Product Details
- Pub. Date: July 2008
- Publisher: Big River Press
- Format: Paperback, 228pp
- Sales Rank: 254,447
- ISBN-13: 9780979874437
- ISBN: 0979874432
Synopsis
ARE YOU A BABY-BOOMER CARING FOR YOUR DYING PARENTS?
In STANDING THE WATCH: The Greatest Gift, Lincoln Brown, at age 89 is in a Seattle hospital where his doctors tell him he has congestive heart failure, & give him just three months left to live.
Lincoln reminds his son of the promise given that he would not die in a hospital. His son drives Lincoln home to his cabin in the Olympic Peninsula rainforest so he can die in his own bed. His son & daughter-in-law, with the aid of a home health agency crew, begin standing the watch, without the company of either doctor or pastor. At first in shifts, then in tandem they continue to honor their vow to the very end.
When R. J. Brown was 14, at home in London, England, her father was felled by rheumatoid arthritis. After months of decline, cared for by his wife & nurses, he died from pneumonia the day after Christmas. RJ's mother promptly exiled her for weeks to a family friend. On her return home, she learnt quickly not to make any mention of her Daddy. No one would talk with her, answer her questions about death nor give any solace for her sadness. Forty-two years later the Cosmos gives RJ a second chance, & she willingly devotes herself to whatever time her father-in-law has left. It turns out to be just thirteen days.
As Lincoln's caregivers, RJ & her husband have, for years, kept a medical log for the State. Now, in STANDING THE WATCH: The Greatest Gift, she weaves excerpts from this log with memories of family, friends who have died, e-mails between her ether correspondents, essays about life & death plus a bibliography of books she found comforting & lists that were useful.
In this her firstmemoir, R. J. Brown gently shares with you what she learnt & what it took to stand The Watch during her beloved Poppa's final days.
Midwest Book Review
A profound testimony and tribute filled with grief, love and courage while narrating a terrible trial. Standing The Watch is very highly recommended reading for anyone charged with the caring for a terminally ill parent.
More Reviews and RecommendationsBiography
J. Brown emigrated from London to Chicago where she worked in the Civil Rights Movement with Rabbi Marx & Dr. King. On moving the the Pacific Northwest, she was Managing Editor of the Townsend Letter for Doctors, & then founded rebeccasreads.com. She is now a contributing writer for the Seniors Sunset Times on the Olympic Peninsula where she lives with her husband, the suspense/thriller author D. H. Brown. She is at work on her first mystery THE DEAD HUSBAND & her next creative non-fiction entitled RAIN FOREST LIVING: Sketches from a Northwest home. The author's website is: rjbrownbooks.com.
Customer Reviews
Standing the Watch - A Heartwarming Story of Love!by IPBookReviewer
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November 02, 2008:
Standing The Watch:
The Greatest Gift
By R. J. Brown
Big River Press
ISBN: 978-0-9798744-3-7
You may think by reading the blurbs for Standing the Watch: The Greatest Gift by R. J. Brown that this book is about death and dying. It is not!
This book is about Life! And giving the greatest gift that can be given to a parent or loved-one(s)?giving them the best possible life they can have as they live out their last days, months or years! For my mother, who had been living with me for many years, it was not a time of turmoil as I cared for her. She simply and quietly died in her sleep. I had only one thing to do for her right then?I immediately put a new pair of slippers on her worn feet as she had asked me to do.
But for some individuals, there are not only medical issues to be attended to; there are logistical issues of concern, based upon where a family lives. And then there is the burden that is placed on the caregiver(s) as time goes on and stress and strain develops.
Standing the Watch in its second edition provides not only specific issues to consider, but, more importantly, in my opinion, the writer shares exactly what happens?both the good and the ?not so good.?
David and Rebecca had already made a commitment to Lincoln, David?s father, that he would live with them after his wife died. And after many years, as Lincoln?s health failed to a point that he was considered terminal, he asked for another commitment?for him to be allowed to die at home. Standing the Watch is the story that centers in on those final days of Lincoln?s life¾a story that should be read by everyone old enough to understand and grieve at the death of another! It should also be read and taken as a learning tool for pastors, doctors and friends of those who are caregivers!
I found that I could read this story from two sides?as a potential friend of Rebecca and David, as they lived through their pain and worry. The other side, as an individual who could very well be in the role of caring for loved ones in their declining years. This book does not need a review that tells you about the storyline, for we all know what occurs. It does, however, give you specifics about what must be done at that time, in one book, with places to make notes...and with checklists that can be reproduced easily and used!
Rebecca writes this book as if she is sitting, talking to you. You feel her disgust when Lincoln, who had been a missionary, has a pastor who cannot be bothered to visit him during his last days. You see her inclusion of email friends? notes, which obviously were so meaningful that they kept her and David going when inner strength was sagging. But, no matter what, you will see the love of a family, facing one of the toughest, most life-changing events in anybody?s life?the loss of a loved one.
This book should be on your home bookshelf because you never know when it will be needed?to share with others in the same situation, to learn and brace yourself for the future, or to guide you day by day as you and a loved-one face the dance to the death. Some readers will search for this book at that time; but I urge you to read and be prepared...for Standing the Watch really is about now?and living and loving!
G. A. Bixler
For IP Book Reviewers
RJB Helps You Take the Fear and Pain Out of a Home Deathby maxlynski
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October 25, 2008:
Standing The Watch: The Greatest Gift
R. J. Brown
ISBN: 9780979874437
In this expanded second edition of my favorite memoir about peacefully dying at home, the author has included sections about the lessons she learned, added pages for your own notes as well as a set of Useful Lists you can copy as you Stand The Watch for someone.
Before reading Standing The Watch: The Greatest Gift I never believed that a home death could be a gift to both the dying and the living. I also lived in as much denial as I could about death and this little book was just what I needed to wake me up and reeducate me about dying. By accompanying the author in her ministrations to her dying father-in-law it helped me feel less fearful.
As you read the stories, log entires, e-mails, memories and essays you'll feel like you are chatting with the author over a cup of tea. Her style is warm, loving, informative and awe-inspiring.
Why would we want to learn more about death? As a writer of parenting and other self-help books, I know there's no shortage of books teaching us how to welcome, celebrate and live life. But we still hide from death or hope others will take care of it for us.
Whether you intend to care for a loved-one as they die and are looking for comfort, wisdom and help, or you doubt you'll ever be at the bedside of a dying person there's much to gain from reading Standing The Watch: The Greatest Gift. Surely, you'll be swept away by the love that fills it. Absolutely, you'll be amazed at the courage and tenacity as this husband and wife help their elder exit this world. And certainly, you'll be comforted by the stories of other deaths and other times as the author shares her past. I'm guessing you'll find yourself thinking, "I wish I could be like that," or "Lincoln Brown was one lucky man."
I highly recommend you spend an evening or two with this book, in front of the fire if you have one. I promise your feelings will be stirred and you will be enriched both in the present while you're captivated by the story, and in the future when you're tending to the death of a loved-one, perhaps, even your own.
Standing The Watch: The Greatest Gift is about the unknown and the unspoken and tells it like it is. I believe R. J. Brown when she writes, "While a home death can be frightening, time-consuming, worrying, stressful, unpleasant and tedious, it's also fertile ground for courage, discipline, stamina, spirituality, compassion, loyalty, humor and love."
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