From the Publisher

Insight and frank, friendly advice on overcoming infertility — from two women who have lived through it all.

We are bombarded by images of blissful older mothers, such as Madonna and Celine Dion. But 'Hollywood' articles about pregnancy and fertility at middle age gloss over the tremendous amount of financial, emotional, and physical effort faced by couples struggling to conceive.

In this warm, funny, empathetic book, journalist Julie Vargo and literary agent Maureen Regan — women who have experienced personally almost every aspect of infertility — give readers a glimpse into what to expect when you're not expecting. Hormones, sperm counts — nothing is too personal for these two outspoken women!

Ranges from technical to humorous and everything in between. What are good, snappy comebacks to the question, 'Why aren't you pregnant?' What is the difference between gonadotrophin releasing hormone and progesterone? Should you freeze your eggs? These questions and many more are answered, and in the tone of a couple of good friends. Between them, the authors have gone through hormone treatments, miscarriages and multiple inseminations — so they know firsthand the rollercoaster ride of trying to achieve pregnancy.

With wise advice on how to communicate with doctors, husbands, friends, and mothers, this book is an invaluable guide for all women facing infertility.

Publishers Weekly

The comprehensiveness of this accessible guide to managing infertility reflects the somewhat obsessive approach of the authors, who have both undergone years of infertility treatment and whose anecdotes frame each chapter. In plain language, journalist Vargo and literary agent Regan (sister of publisher Judith) detail the impact of a variety of factors (age, weight, stress, exercise, nutrition, STDs, pharmaceuticals, recreational drugs, pollution) on both female and male infertility. They provide solid tips on finding a fertility specialist and navigating the wide variety of questions, tests and treatments readers can expect to go through, and frankly discuss the difficult choices (medical, ethical, legal, financial and emotional) parental hopefuls will have to make. Vargo and Regan believe motherhood is a woman's highest priority and most satisfying life choice, and quietly dismiss projects outside of conception; readers who don't fully embrace the authors' opinions may thus miss the plethora of useful information. Oversimplified gender stereotypes also hinder the authors' discussion of communication between partners and reflect the larger interference of the authors' neo-traditional values with the otherwise direct treatment of the complicated situations infertile women face. Still, the infusion of personality with facts makes for an engaging guide for those who share Vargo and Regan's beliefs. (June) Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.

Product Details

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Table of Contents

Read an Excerpt

A Few Good Eggs

HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.

Chapter One

Join the Club

Julie

We started trying to conceive when I was thirty-four, and I think I knew right away we were in trouble. I guess it was instinct or maybe just a gut reaction to each period's arrival when I knew we were having more than enough sex to satisfy the conception quotient.

My husband didn't believe we were having a problem -- at first. When I lamented the fact we weren't pregnant yet, Robert would toss out comments like "Well, we haven't really given it enough time yet," or "I'll bet it will work next month," or "I'm not worried yet, why are you?" I think this is called denial.

Finally, after more than a year, I went to my OB/GYN who wondered why I hadn't gotten in there sooner.

Maureen

Although he was a delight, my son, Quinn, was active and didn't sleep through the night for four years. This made me delay having another child. It never occurred to me I would have any difficulty because Quinn's conception was effortless. So I waited ... and waited ... and put it off longer and longer.

Nobody, not even my hip, cool, Harvard-educated Marin County gynecologist, bothered to inform me of the effect my age may have on my reproductive biology. So I didn't think twice about putting off another pregnancy. I thought I had all the time in the world -- at least until I was forty. Why not? All these celebrities were having their babies late, right?

My gynecologist never told me I was infertile. It was a conclusion I came to on my own after my second miscarriage. I begged her to test my fertility, but she brushed me off. To her, I was just a case of advanced maternal age -- not a fertility issue. I shudder to think what would have happened if I hadn't met Julie and gone to a fertility specialist. Well, I wouldn't have had my daughter, Ava. Quinn would have been an only child.

The moral of my story is that "all the time in the world" is really not much time at all. I almost missed the boat. What a humbling experience.

10 Mis(sed)-Conceptions About Infertility

1. Infertility won't happen to me.
2. I can't be infertile. I already have a baby!
3. I can get pregnant, so I don't have fertility issues. I just have miscarriages.
4. I'm too young to have fertility issues!
5. My doctor told me I didn't need to see a fertility specialist until I had three miscarriages.
6. I'm in great shape. I exercise all the time. I can't be infertile.
7. I'm not infertile. I'm just not having enough sex.
8. You can wait a long time to have a baby.
9. Men can't be infertile. They make sperm all the time.
10. Normal is a miracle.

Welcome to the wild, wacky world of infertility, where insanity reigns supreme, where the path to parenthood doesn't follow the prescribed "normal" route.

Oh, well. What's normal anyhow?

In reproductive terms, some women get pregnant so easily. They decide it's time to start a family, stop taking the Pill or toss out the diaphragm and -- WHAM -- a few weeks later, they're on the nine-month path to motherhood. Those women drive us crazy. Call it envy.

The biggest mistake we make as women is to assume that we can get pregnant. We take it for granted really, the miracle that it is. We don't know about you, but we spent most of our precious fertile years -- the twentysomethings -- trying NOT to get pregnant. Wish we knew then what we know now!

The easily impregnated don't understand what the rest of us go through to have our children. They just smile their motherly smiles, shrug their shoulders, and pat the tousled heads of the wriggling tots dangling from their perfect pre-pregnancy Gap outfits. At least that's how we see it.

Meanwhile, the rest of us labor like construction workers to build our families. Mother Nature sure isn't fair. We guess she never faced any fertility challenges, so she can't relate. But really, she's a mother, so we personally think she should be a bit more understanding ...

Continues...

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Excerpted from A Few Good Eggs by Julie Vargo Copyright © 2005 by Julie Vargo. Excerpted by permission.
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