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From 1967 to 1979 Joanne Fleisher led a happy life in the suburbs, a mother of two and the wife of a successful lawyer. Then she fell in love with a female friend and everything changed. Her experiences, as well as those of the women who write to her advice column Ask Joanne (www.classicdykes.com), inspired her to write Living Two Lives, a guide for women grappling with the difficult process of coming out while being married to a man. Now a licensed clinical social worker, Fleisher has conducted married women's support groups, weekend conferences, individual therapy sessions, and national and international phone consultations for women in this situation. She now brings her wealth of insight to this guide to help married women navigate the stages of coming out: initial feelings of same-sex attraction, telling husbands and children, managing a roller coaster of emotions (grief at the end of a marriage, confusion and anger at the loss of heterosexual privilege, guilt, anxiety, depression), developing a support system, executing the awkward phases of dating, and, finally, moving into a new chapter of life. In addition, Living Two Lives provides resources on organizations for married women, suggested reading, and helpful Web sites. Married women are a huge but invisible part of the lesbian population, often falling between the cracks of available resources. This book is a welcome tool to guide them out of isolation and into rich, rewarding lives.
Joanne Fleisher is a lifelong resident of Philadelphia. She is a graduate of Simmons College and of the Bryn Mawr Graduate School of Social Work and Social Research. She and her partner of 25 years coparented her daughters with her ex-husband, and she recently became a grandmother.
Joanne Fleisher is a lifelong resident of Philadelphia. She is a graduate of Simmons College and of the Bryn Mawr Graduate School of Social Work and Social Research. She developed the Web site LavenderVisions.com, an online counseling resource for women all over the world, and moderates Ask Joanne, a Q&A board exclusively for married women attracted to women.
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February 27, 2006: Being a married woman who had never had ANY same-sex attraction until I was 32, books like Joanne Fleisher's, 'Living Two Lives' have been a lifesaver. Cast into unfamiliar water without anyone who could relate, Joanne's book provided real-life commentary from others who had been through the same thing. With pratical advice about how to cope and proceed, 'Living Two Lives' helped me deal with the unique issues surrounding my situation. The only other thing I could have wished for is that it had been written sooner. -j. in arizona
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December 04, 2005: I picked up Joanne's book 'living two lives' a few days ago. If you are still confused as hell and in pain - you NEED to read this book. It is amazing how 'on' it is. 90% of what is said is so dead on accurate to what I am feeling - it is amazing. I am only about half way through it - but I can tell you - you will sit and read it with tears rolling down your cheeks. The truth is painful! My plan is to finish reading it - then get a highlighter and re-read it highlighting the most truthful/accurate parts to me, and then give it to my husband to read. I have not yet had the 'discussion' with my husband - but I think this book is a wonderful window into what we are feeling and experiencing. I went to barnes & noble for my copy - they did not have it in stock but let me order it. They did not ask for ID or payment when ordering it - so if you want - you can give a fake name and your cell phone number - they will call you when it comes. GET IT!!!!!!! It is better than therapy :-)