What does it mean to be "real" today? In a world where "truth" is a relative concept, is it possible to live an honorable life? Where half-truths and relentless spin are the rule, is honesty really the best policy? Yes, says Harriette Cole, and in Choosing Truth, she shows us why.
The bestselling author of How to Be delivers an inspiring, one-of-a-kind prescription for revitalizing your daily routine, overcoming the habit of self-delusion, and living an authentic life. Choosing Truth is not simply about being honest with the people in your personal and professional life; it's about being true to yourself.
Writing with extraordinary candor about her own life quest, Cole invites you to take an eye-opening, introspective journey. Addressing every facet of life in which truth is essential -- from cultivating an active spiritual life, to finding healthy, fulfilling relationships, to facing your deepest fears and listening to (and heeding) your inner voice -- Cole maps a clear path toward personal transformation. Drawing on compelling and fascinating anecdotes about the challenges, setbacks, and triumphs that have marked her own life and the lives of others, she shows you how to translate good intentions into right action and what you risk if you do not.
Cole believes that self-inquiry in the form of journaling is an important key to unlocking the treasures of wisdom and clarity that lie within you. Each chapter ends with a revealing glimpse of Cole's own journal and a series of instructions and questions to guide you to a deeper understanding of your Self.
Choosing Truth is an essential tool in the pursuit of a meaningful and honorable life, one lived artfully and with compassion toward ourselves and others.
Author and magazine editor Cole guides readers on an introspective "quest for the answers to life's fundamental questions" via the simple but often laborious process of living truthfully. Cole imparts wisdom without self-righteousness when describing her current successes as well as the transformation she underwent following a failed marriage, abortion, miscarriage and years of drug and alcohol abuse. In an intelligent, confessional writing style, she methodically presents her information, which covers an extensive range: from rediscovering spirituality and honoring the physical body, to assessing one's work environment and developing healthy friendships. To emphasize the need for an ongoing dialogue with one's self, she prescribes journal writing; and each chapter ends with thought-provoking questions as well as tips for meditation and prayer. Cole underscores her theme of living an authentic, empowered life by way of anecdotes; exercises to analyze and overcome fears, release grudges, and understand the impact and importance of one's words; as well as inspirational quotes from the likes of Thoreau, Nelson Mandela and Bertrand Russell. Readers may be put off by her tendency for platitudes, such as "before you can truly love another, you have to love yourself" and "what we say speaks volumes," but the strength and wisdom of her message still make it through (29). (Feb.) Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information.
More Reviews and RecommendationsWhat does it mean to be "real" today? In a world where "truth" is a relative concept, is it possible to live an honorable life? Where half-truths and relentless spin are the rule, is honesty really the best policy? Yes, says Harriette Cole, and in Choosing Truth, she shows us why.
The bestselling author of How to Be delivers an inspiring, one-of-a-kind prescription for revitalizing your daily routine, overcoming the habit of self-delusion, and living an authentic life. Choosing Truth is not simply about being honest with the people in your personal and professional life; it's about being true to yourself.
Writing with extraordinary candor about her own life quest, Cole invites you to take an eye-opening, introspective journey. Addressing every facet of life in which truth is essential -- from cultivating an active spiritual life, to finding healthy, fulfilling relationships, to facing your deepest fears and listening to (and heeding) your inner voice -- Cole maps a clear path toward personal transformation. Drawing on compelling and fascinating anecdotes about the challenges, setbacks, and triumphs that have marked her own life and the lives of others, she shows you how to translate good intentions into right action and what you risk if you do not.
Cole believes that self-inquiry in the form of journaling is an important key to unlocking the treasures of wisdom and clarity that lie within you. Each chapter ends with a revealing glimpse of Cole's own journal and a series of instructions and questions to guide you to a deeper understanding of your Self.
Choosing Truth is an essential tool in the pursuit of a meaningful and honorable life, one lived artfully and with compassion toward ourselves and others.
Author and magazine editor Cole guides readers on an introspective "quest for the answers to life's fundamental questions" via the simple but often laborious process of living truthfully. Cole imparts wisdom without self-righteousness when describing her current successes as well as the transformation she underwent following a failed marriage, abortion, miscarriage and years of drug and alcohol abuse. In an intelligent, confessional writing style, she methodically presents her information, which covers an extensive range: from rediscovering spirituality and honoring the physical body, to assessing one's work environment and developing healthy friendships. To emphasize the need for an ongoing dialogue with one's self, she prescribes journal writing; and each chapter ends with thought-provoking questions as well as tips for meditation and prayer. Cole underscores her theme of living an authentic, empowered life by way of anecdotes; exercises to analyze and overcome fears, release grudges, and understand the impact and importance of one's words; as well as inspirational quotes from the likes of Thoreau, Nelson Mandela and Bertrand Russell. Readers may be put off by her tendency for platitudes, such as "before you can truly love another, you have to love yourself" and "what we say speaks volumes," but the strength and wisdom of her message still make it through (29). (Feb.) Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information.
These three authors made lemonade when life gave them lemons; all insist that the answer to life's riddle lies inside you. A former editor at Essence magazine, Cole (How To Be: Contemporary Etiquette for African Americans) hopes to "inspire you to continue forward on your path to you." If that sounds vague, it is. Readers must find their true identity via personal transformation, she argues; this requires active participation, delving, probing, and a lot of hard work, none of which is spelled out here. Chapters titled like Boy Scout maxims (e.g., do your best, work wisely) gently explore different aspects of changing one's life (e.g., have fun, take time to focus) in order to identify one's personal truth. Overall, this book has some nice ideas, as when it endorses journaling to "track your life's evolution," but the lack of concrete steps makes it useful only for determined self-starters. Libraries should instead consider Martha Beck's worthwhile Finding Your Own North Star. Sussman's Images of Desire applied the concepts of eidetic imagery to sensuality, but her latest book is more general. Eventually labeled the science of our emotions, "doing" images is a process that unearths lucid, visual sensations from one's subconscious to unravel objectively the "composite of inner emotions." Through this process, readers get in touch with their true feelings, achieve peace, and eventually radiate joy. The book contains more than 40 exercises to help "find the source of our greatest strengths and weaknesses" on a variety of topics (e.g., career, parenting). Sussman, though, wastes considerable space preaching (e.g., about the sanctity of marriage) instead of guiding, and while many consider therapeutic fantasy one of various tools, here it supposedly cures all. Ellen Curran's Guided Imagery for Healing Children and Teens: Wellness Through Visualization is a better bet. First-time author Kneen makes no bones about her devotion to Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, the late Buddhist meditation master who introduced many Buddhist teachings to the West. Here she shares her "understanding of Trungpa's...original teachings" so that readers can make a "personal connection to their meaning." Perhaps unwittingly, this quickly degenerates into channeling his shtick. With a goal somewhat similar to Cole's, Kneen urges readers to attain "inner authority [and] gain full presence in the world." Opening one's heart means unearthing treasure inside you (e.g., internal strength, peace) via meditation. Such a courageous and energetic process will take much more illumination than Kneen provides; while noble, this book is often indistinct. Determined readers could squeeze something from this, but libraries would get more bang for their buck with Jonathan Landow's clear, no-nonsense Buddhism for Dummies and should also consider Sylvia Boorstein's Pay Attention, for Goodness' Sake or Joan Borysenko's results-oriented Inner Peace for Busy People. Buy by demand for all three. Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information.
Introduction
Choosing Truth is a book devoted to supporting the search for the deepest understanding of Truth that we can find: The answer to the age-old question, Who am I? It is a subject that I have held close to my heart for my entire life, even when I wasn't sure what my search really was. Because this is so, this book has come to be filled with more of my own stories than I ever imagined I would dare reveal. I also share numerous examples of other people's stories about their personal transformation as they have faced challenges, triumphs, and defeats. I do so because if I and others have the courage and willingness to shed light on our lives as they are, then, perhaps you will be willing to do the same. The only way to live a full and dynamic life is to be willing to examine it as it is right now, without adornment. God knows us and sees us through and through -- as we are. In moments of insight, we also see ourselves and each other for who we really are. This is true no matter how artfully we may have sculpted ourselves into appropriate packages.
The genesis of this book came long before September 11, 2001, but the events of that day made me reassess whether I was still headed in the right direction. This disaster was an unprecedented, unthinkable attack. Safety had to be redefined. Freedom needed to find a new face, an honest face. The "Whys?" begged to be answered so that the errors of the past would not be repeated. Perhaps for the first time in contemporary culture, more Americans and others around the world began to think a little harder and a lot more seriously about their own lives, about their mortality: What really matters? Am I living the life that my heart tells me to live? What do I need to do to improve my way of being? How do I protect myself when the world around me doesn't feel safe?
My intention in writing this book is to support all of us in our quest for the answers to life's fundamental questions. This project came to be as I was sitting in meditation at the ashram that is my spiritual home in upstate New York. I had just finished my book How to Be, and I wanted to know what I was supposed to work on next. The question I had in my mind as I slipped into meditation was: What is my purpose now? What am I to do? In the stillness of a deep meditation, out of a serene space of silence came a voice: Choose the Truth. What did it mean? As I racked my brain, there came an Aha! moment. "Is this supposed to be a book?" And so I began to contemplate what a book about Truth would be. I polled a few people to learn their ideas on the subject. Members of my spiritual community were accustomed to grappling with this topic. Others gave their take as if they were contemplating it for the first time. Some had different definitions, depending on the circumstances at hand. "The Truth is relative to the situation, isn't it?" one woman asked.
Armed immediately with a breadth of inspiration and opinion, I sat still in order to gather my thoughts. To consider choice and Truth together was powerful. How would I do that and really serve people's needs? My initial idea was to look at the different relationships that we find ourselves in -- marriage, parent-child, friends, lovers, coworkers, employees, neighbors, and enemies -- and with this plan in mind, I began interviewing people of all ages and backgrounds all over the country. I wanted to know whether people chose to be honest with their coworkers and parents, as well as how often they intentionally lied to their lovers and creditors. What was the balance of Truth as people revealed details of their various relationships?
What I found changed the whole construct of this book. Although people rationalized their degrees of honesty a little more when it came to work situations, the reality is that those who lie were equally likely to do so with lovers, spouses, and children as with employers or employees. Whether I was talking to teenagers or senior citizens, the range of stories was pretty consistent. Some people barely addressed the surface of their feelings; instead, they lived day to day in varying degrees of happiness or discomfort. Others dove deep into the heart of their emotions and experiences. Some people courageously stood up for their beliefs, while others either immediately cowered in the corner or ran to the front of the line to hand over their ideas in order to support someone else's. What was the thread that linked them all together? As I listened and digested story after story, all the while probing my own heart for clues, I discovered that Choosing Truth has less to do with how we behave in relation to others than it does with how we relate to our own Selves. If we dare to stand naked in front of a mirror and examine what we see -- on the surface and layer upon layer below -- then and only then are we able to choose Truth in our lives.
After more than a year of pursuing one path for this book, my course was redirected. The course I had been on all along in my personal life became the course I was to follow to help others. To protect those who so generously opened up their lives to this pursuit of Truth, I have altered names, occupations, and residences as needed. Through the many examples and principles woven throughout these chapters, my intention is for each of you to seek out your own understanding of what Truth is for you. This book requires your active participation. You will be invited to probe your own heart and mind to discover the voice within that is waiting to guide your steps. You will be encouraged to journal about your discoveries so that you can capture your own wisdom on paper and refer to it again and again. The purpose of this book is to inspire you to continue forward on your path to you.
The process of CHOOSING TRUTH is sometimes difficult. It requires diligence and patience. So often many of us seem to live in a fog, even when we are actively walking on a spiritual path. I know in my own life I have frequently discovered what's actual about a situation I'm facing long after it first presents itself. Due to some emotion, such as anger, anticipation, fear, or even guilt, I have initially envisioned the scenario in false colors, unknowingly misrepresenting it to myself and, in turn, to others. Although this often happens unintentionally, this distortion of reality has proven to be a deterrent in my own progress. Only after deep contemplation, prayer, and focus do answers usually emerge. Knowledge, like a delicious cup of tea, seems to reveal itself only after steeping.
I go back to that day when the Twin Towers fell. My office borders Greenwich Village and Chelsea in New York City. Standing on the corner of Fifteenth Street and Fifth Avenue, I could see the Towers blazing with fire and puffing out huge clouds of smoke. Hours later, I could see smoke where there had been majestic buildings. How could the Towers be gone? I kept wishing that it hadn't happened. I wanted to be awakened from this bad dream and reclaim life as it had been hours before.
Life is what it is. It is our duty to see that. But just as was true in New York, as rescue workers struggled endlessly to clear away the rubble, we have to exert consistent and focused energy to see clearly. It takes work to cart away the debris clouding our vision and tremendous effort to sort through the many distractions that capture our attention. Only when we put forth this effort can grace do its part and show us what is real.
Although I do not claim to have all the answers, I do have recommendations, gleaned from many years of study, for how we can seek out and choose to live in the space of our own Truth. What is essential is that we recognize and accept that before us in every moment is a matter of choice. We can and must choose our destiny. It is our own steps, our own thoughts, words, and deeds that will either guide us to the revelation of who we really are and what our role in life is, or propel us deeper into a life of smoke and mirrors.
I look at life as a precious gemstone that bears many facets. Depending on how we tend to the needs and subtleties of our gemstone, its facets will either shine brilliantly or lack clarity. This book represents an examination of many of the facets of our lives. I encourage you to use it as a tool to assist you so that your gemstone, your precious life, can become crystal clear and shine as magnificently as is possible.
I offer it to you with all my love,
harriette
Copyright © 2003 by profundities, inc.
Dearest Friend,
I am writing to you today to express my love and gratitude to you. I am so happy that you have decided to embark upon this journey of self-exploration with me. My intention is to be vigilant and gentle in my honesty. My goal is to discover the Truth about who I am and how I can live an honest and fulfilling life in the here and now.
I love you,
Me
Now is the time to begin your inner exploration. Use your journal as an essential tool for processing the facets of inner learning that will take place:
Record your intention for your journal. What do you intend to accomplish by engaging in the active pursuit of writing about your thoughts, words, and deeds?
Use your journal space now to focus on your reasons for embarking on this journey. Be as clear and specific as you can to sharpen your own understanding of the value of Choosing Truth at this time in your life.
Talk to yourself lovingly. That's why I call myself Dearest Friend. I know that what I want most in life is to be loved and that love starts with what I offer to myself. As I write, I am writing to that gentle, loving spirit who is my very Self.
Find your voice. Discover your Self by writing to that precious one within.
Dearest Friend,
I am writing to you today to express my love and gratitude to you. I am so happy that you have decided to embark upon this journey of self-exploration with me. My intention is to be vigilant and gentle in my honesty. My goal is to discover the Truth about who I am and how I can live an honest and fulfilling life in the here and now.
I love you,
Me
Now is the time to begin your inner exploration. Use your journal as an essential tool for processing the facets of inner learning that will take place:
Record your intention for your journal. What do you intend to accomplish by engaging in the active pursuit of writing about your thoughts, words, and deeds?
Use your journal space now to focus on your reasons for embarking on this journey. Be as clear and specific as you can to sharpen your own understanding of the value of Choosing Truth at this time in your life.
Talk to yourself lovingly. That's why I call myself Dearest Friend. I know that what I want most in life is to be loved and that love starts with what I offer to myself. As I write, I am writing to that gentle, loving spirit who is my very Self.
Find your voice. Discover your Self by writing to that precious one within.
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