From Barnes & Noble
The Barnes & Noble Review
The coauthor of Raising Cain provides an articulate and compassionate account of why our children are floundering in this time of unparalleled living conditions and unprecedented economic prosperity.
Kindlon identifies seven syndromes that afflict today's overindulged children -- self-centeredness, anger, being overly driven, lack of motivation, eating problems, self-control problems, and being spoiled -- and uses interviews and case studies from the groundbreaking Parenting Practices at the Millennium study to illustrate their devastating effects. But more shocking than the toll these syndromes take on American children is their source: Kindlon argues persuasively that each is the unfortunate result of parents who strive to shield their children from discomfort, unhappiness, and having to ever "do without." This type of parenting -- borne equally of overly accommodating attitudes, bulging bank accounts, good intentions, and guilt about overloaded work schedules -- leaves children ill-prepared for hardship and incapable of experiencing joys of facing adversity or rising to a challenge.
And these difficulties are not limited to children of privilege. The book demonstrates that any child who is given too much -- whether in the form of material possessions or simply too much accommodation, too much help navigating life -- without quality parenting and character guidance is at risk for this "affluenza."
More than just a eye-opening look at how "the richest society the world has ever known" has left its children hungry for a sense of accomplishment and "meaningful goal-directed activity," Too Much of a Good Thing also offers instruction to parents, so that they may protect their kids from affluenza. Kindlon explains the overall parenting techniques that foster security and happiness, while instilling character and perspective. Numerous examples help readers understand how their reaction to specific situations can either cultivate a child's character and ability to be flexible or erode it.
We all want our children to be happy. We want to give them the things we did not have as children, both emotionally and materially. But, as Too Much of a Good Thing makes clear, by taking a long, hard look at ourselves and examining the motivation behind indulgent parenting, we can manage to raise children who are comfortable but not blasé about life, privileged but not spoiled. (Karen Burns)
From the Publisher
Parents Give Their Children too much and expect too little. Material indulgence -- everything from excessive toys to cellphones, cars, and credit cards -- is just the beginning. With good intentions parents too often emotionally indulge their children as well. There is too much negotiation, overprotection, an overall sense of entitlement, and too few of the character building experiences that lead to happiness and psychological health. Too Much of a Good Thing outlines the consequences of a generation of children surrounded by a sea of choices, and a lack of limits and barriers. After a nationwide survey of suburban teenagers, Dr. Kindlon discovers alarmingly high levels of depression, anxiety, body image problems, and weak character, much of it invisible to their parents. Too Much of a Good Thing offers profound wisdom about how parents can reach out to their children, teach them engagement in rewarding activity, and promote emotional maturity and a sense of self-worth.
Philadelphia Inquirer
Filled with anecdotes of parents doing all the wrong things to win their children's love.
Publishers Weekly
Kindlon (coauthor of Raising Cain), a psychologist, has spent time surveying and speaking to parents and kids in an effort to understand teen-rearing today. In addition to a scientific survey (Parenting Practices at the Millennium), which focuses on issues such as whether today's teens consider themselves spoiled, how many use drugs, how many do household chores, what families have dinner together regularly, whether all or only rich kids have cell phones, etc., Kindlon also draws on anecdotal data. As a psychologist at various schools, he has listened to parents protesting the suspension of a son accused of plagiarism the parents didn't find anything wrong with taking material off the Internet. Students have told Kindlon that their parents are never home or, in some cases, when they expect a punishment, that their parents do nothing. Educators as well as parents and grandparents will effortlessly identify with many of the situations Kindlon describes. After all, particularly among the baby boomer generation with seemingly unlimited funds, as parents indulge themselves, it's fairly apparent that their children will do so as well. Kindlon offers sound, albeit brief, advice; in the chapter on life skills, for example, he urges parents to help their kids acquire interests that will hold their attention. He believes that even spending one hour a day with kids not necessarily at mealtime is helpful. While this book is handy, a better organization with chapter summaries of advice would have made it even stronger. (Aug.) Forecast: Given the author's track record with the bestselling Raising Cain, this book should perform well, especially with a 12-city author tour and national advertisingcampaign. Copyright 1999 Cahners Business Information.
Library Journal
Kindlon, coauthor of the well-received Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys, here describes his experiences as a clinical therapist as well as the findings from the Parenting Practices at the Millennium study (PPM), which he conducted in spring 2000. The PPM is unusual in that it focuses on middle- and upper-class Americans, specifically those born in the last 20 years of the 20th century. Kindlon calls these kids "millennials" and finds that they "are highly competitive and prone to self-centeredness, depression, anxiety, and anger. Even when they're driven they often seem adrift." Distressing news, especially when these are the privileged few who will "have the inside track on the most influential positions in our society." But the pictures is not all gloomy; Kindlon offers sensible and compassionate advice for the well-to-do parent by effectively blending empirical evidence with anecdotal material. Sometimes, he offers easy, rather than clinical, conclusions (e.g., there is a "direct relationship between a large disposable income and drug use"), but this is a minor quibble. For large public libraries and those academic libraries that need the PPM results. Douglas C. Lord, Connecticut State Lib., Hartford Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information.
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