Atheist's Bible: An Illustrious Collection of Irreverent Thoughts by Joan Konner

From the Publisher

"All thinking men are atheists," Ernest Hemingway famously wrote. True? Here are quips, quotes, and questions from a distinguished assortment of geniuses and jokers, giving readers a chance to decide for themselves....

When I think of all the harm [the bible] has done, I despair of ever writing anything to equal it.
Oscar Wilde

SAINT, n. A dead sinner revised and edited.
Ambrose Bierce

There ain't no answer. There ain't going to be any answer. There never has been an answer. That's the answer.
Gertrude Stein

Do not let yourself be deceived: great intellects are skeptical.
Friedrich Nietzsche

Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
Susan Ertz

God is love, but get it in writing.
Gypsy Rose Lee

Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of our own mind.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.
George Bernard Shaw

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The Atheist's Bible

HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.

Chapter One

Genesis

Perhaps our role on this planet is not to worship God—but to create Him.
—Arthur C. Clarke

Epicurus' old questions are yet unanswered. Is [God] willing to prevent evil, but not able? then is he impotent. Is he able, but not willing? then is he malevolent. Is he both able and willing? whence then is evil?
—David Hume

Men . . . have had the vanity to pretend that the whole creation was made for them, whilst in reality the whole creation does not suspect their existence.
—Camille Flammarion

Fear was the gods' begetter in this world.
—Petronius

We are here because one odd group of fishes had a peculiar fin anatomy that could transform into legs for terrestrial creatures; because the earth never froze entirely during an ice age; because a small and tenuous species, arising in Africa a quarter of a million years ago, has managed, so far, to survive by hook and by crook. We may yearn for a "higher" answer—but none exists.
—Stephen Jay Gould

As for me, I've long resolved not to think whether man created God or God man.
—Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Geology shows that fossils are of different ages. Paleontology shows a fossil sequence, the list of species representing changes throughtime. Taxonomy shows biological relationships among species. Evolution is the explanation that threads it all together. Creationism is the practice of squeezing one's eyes shut and wailing "Does not!"
—Anonymous

If you believe that there is a God, a God that made your body, and yet you think that you can do anything with that body that's dirty, then the fault lies with the manufacturer.
—Lenny Bruce

From the point of view of a tapeworm, man was created by God to serve the appetite of the tapeworm.
—Edward Abbey

The idea of God is the sole wrong for which I cannot forgive mankind.
—Marquis de Sade

Men create the gods after their own image, not only with regard to their form but with regard to their mode of life.
—Aristotle

We shall tell ourselves that it would be very nice if there were a God who created the world and was a benevolent Providence, and if there were a moral order in the universe and an after-life; but it is a very striking fact that all this is exactly as we are bound to wish it to be.
—Sigmund Freud

Brute force crushes many plants. Yet the plants rise again. The Pyramids will not last a moment compared with the daisy. And before Buddha or Jesus spoke the nightingale sang, and long after the words of Jesus and Buddha are gone into oblivion the nightingale still will sing. Because it is neither preaching nor teaching nor commanding nor urging. It is just singing. And in the beginning was not a Word, but a chirrup.
—D. H. Lawrence

At the beginning there was the Word—at the end just the Cliché.
—Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

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Excerpted from The Atheist's Bible by Joan Konner Copyright © 2007 by Joan Konner. Excerpted by permission.
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