Table of Contents
Introduction ix
Meet Her 1
Overcome Your Fear of Rejection 1
Take the Plunge 2
Top 10 Icebreakers 3
Learn to Read a Woman's Body Language 8
Always Get Her Phone Number 12
7 Golden Rules for Phone Calls 15
Be a First Date Pro 19
7 Things Women Expect on a First Date 19
Top 10 First Date Conversation Tips 22
Tips for a Blind Date 25
Top 10 First Date Faux Pas 27
Recover from a Bad First Impression 32
Second Date Success 34
Transition from Friendship to Relationship 40
When a Girl Friend Becomes a Girlfriend 40
Friend to Flame in 5 Easy Steps 43
Office Romance: Is Your Female Co-Worker Flirting? 46
Flirting vs. True Attraction 51
Sail Through the Courting Phase 56
Top 10 Signs She's Made for You 57
9 Signs You're Dating a Loser 59
Top 10 Traits of a Great Boyfriend 65
8 Ways to Make Her Swoon 68
Annoying Behaviors: 7 Things Men Think Women Like 72
Women's Tests and Howto Pass Them 75
Are High Maintenance Women Worth It? 79
Dealing with High Maintenance Women 83
Becoming Exclusive 86
Leaving the Past Behind 89
Top 10 New Relationship Don'ts 92
The Three-Month Mark: Signs of Love 96
Integrate into Each Other's Lives 99
Defuse Her Hateful Friends 99
The Woman with Many Male Friends 103
Top 10 Signs Your Buddies Hate Your Girl 108
Maintain Your Relationship 113
Painless Relationship Maintenance 114
The Life Span of Romantic Gestures 118
4 Ways to Communicate with Women 122
9 Common Relationship Killers 126
Handle the Tough Times 132
Overcoming Jealousy in Relationships 132
Dealing with a Jealous Girlfriend 139
5 Tips for Arguing with Women 144
Fight Civilly 147
Top 10 Arguments to Avoid 150
The ABCs of Relationship Recovery 154
Is It Time for a Relationship Break? 157
6 Breakup Tips for a Broken Relationship 162
Top 10 Ways to Get Her Back 163
Impress her Family 166
Impress Her Siblings 166
A Guide to Meeting Her Parents 172
Top 10 Ways to Impress Her Mom 179
Top 10 Ways to Win Over Her Father 181
Make the Cohabitation Leap 186
5 Signs She Wants to Move In with You 186
Moving In Together 189
Top 10 Romantic Things to Do When Living Together 194
Benefits of a Girls' Night Out 198
Getting Away with a Boys' Night Out 200
Keep Your Relationship Exciting 203
Anniversaries: Happy Birthday to Us 203
Guide to Anniversaries 206
Spicing Up Your Sex Life 209
Woo Her All Over Again 211
8 Ways to Rekindle Romance 215
Plan Ahead 218
Postpone Your Proposal 218
Top 10 Signs You're Ready to Pop the Question 222
Proposal Protocol 226
Read a Sample Chapter
AskMen.com Presents The Guy's Guide to Romance The 11 Rules for Finding a Woman & Making Her Happy
By James Bassil HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. Copyright © 2008 James Bassil
All right reserved. ISBN: 9780061242861
Chapter One
Rule One
Meet Her
Before any romance can blossom, there has to be an initial meeting, and before there can be an initial meeting, there has to be a guy willing to step up and initiate contact—and that guy is you. Is it possible that she'll be the one to pick you up? Sure, anything's possible, but it's not likely. And while you're sitting around waiting for it to happen, plenty of other guys will be making their moves, and plenty of happy coupledoms will be emerging for it.
Like it or not, it still falls on the man to initiate the pursuit, and that isn't likely to change anytime soon. Rather than lamenting this fact, it's time to adapt to it. Begin by conquering that fear that inhibits so many men from approaching women: the fear of rejection.
Overcome your fear of rejection
Mankind has overcome the hardships of war and natural disasters. Yet there is one natural fear that seems to overcome most men: the fear of rejection. This instinctive emotion paralyzes us and hinders us from doing the things we really want to do, including meeting women. Some men are so afraidof rejection that they would rather run through a minefield than walk up to a woman and ask her out on a date.
You're not her type
Most men fear rejection because it lowers their self-esteem. But there is really no reason to lose any confidence when women say "no" because they aren't really rejecting you. How could they be rejecting you when they don't even know what you're all about? It's not like they studied your personality and qualities before deciding to refuse you. Maybe they declined your offer because:
They're dating someone or married.
They're having a bad day.
They like you, but have their protective shield up.
They don't feel like talking to anyone—even Brad Pitt.
The important thing to remember is that no one in this world can appeal to everyone's tastes. Each woman has her preferences, so if she rejects you, it just means that you don't fit the description of what she desires. All the more reason to approach as many women as possible in order to increase your chances of finding one who is looking for a guy like you.
Take the plunge
The "fear of rejection" will persist until the day you decide to overcome it. All you have to do is start up a conversation, and the rest will fall into place. Note that this does not involve corny pickup lines. An honest conversation is the best route. Here are some suggestions.
Once you notice signs that she's interested (eye contact, touching her hair, and so on), walk directly up to her and introduce yourself. You can start by asking if you can join her for a drink. If she says yes, ask her name. If she's interested, she'll ask the same. If she doesn't ask, it's not the end of the world; just keep the lines of communication open.
Keep the conversation interesting; focus on her and really listen to what she says. Then, follow up with another question that links with what she just finished saying. For example:
You: "Do you have a job?"
Her: "Yes, and I'm also studying."
You: "Wow, you're a busy woman!"
Her: "Yes, there are days when I feel like I'm just going to collapse."
You: "I bet you're looking forward to a vacation."
Her: "Oh yes, I just can't wait to get away for a while."
You: "And what would your ideal vacation spot be?"
This is just one example of many possible conversations. The idea is to listen to her and follow up with a correlating question. When this method is properly applied, it will keep the conversation interesting.
Top 10 icebreakers
Of course, striking up a conversation with a beautiful stranger is easier said than done. It helps to have some tried-and-true ways to break the ice and start a conversation up your sleeve.
Whether you're at work, play, or somewhere in between, there are always opportunities to meet women. It's just a matter of knowing the right thing to say at the right time to come across as cool, honest, and intriguing. You'll strike out from time to time, but that's okay. Don't dwell on rejection. Stay confident, and you'll be meeting more women than you know what to do with.
Your main weapon is always the art of adaptation. Before moving in, assess whether the scenario involves a "hot" or a "cold" pickup.
Hot situations occur when she's noticed you and has given you that "come hither" signal (either via eye contact, a sexy flip of her hair, or one of those shy smiles).
Cold situations, on the other hand, happen when there hasn't been any previous flirting. This scenario can prove to be more difficult, as you're never sure if she is, or will be, interested.
Number 10: Introduce yourself
This almost goes without saying: If there has been no previous flirting, she's not going to know you exist until you make her aware you're there. To use a golf analogy, it's always the approach shot that sets up the hole. No different with the ladies. Stride up to her casually and introduce yourself.
What to say:
"I'm Joe, happy to meet you."
"I'm Joe. I don't believe we've been introduced."
Number 9: Buy her a drink
Whether you're at a bar, restaurant, or coffee shop, a great icebreaker involves the classic buying of a drink. Have the waiter send her another round of what she's already having (if you want to be more aggressive, you could send her your favorite drink), accompanied by a playful note, with your phone number included. Be sure to have the waiter let her know the source of the drink. On your way out, stop by her table and introduce yourself. It's a bold approach, without being invasive.
What to say:
"Hope you enjoyed your drink."
"This is my favorite drink; thought you might enjoy it too."
Continues...
Excerpted from AskMen.com Presents The Guy's Guide to Romance by James Bassil Copyright © 2008 by James Bassil. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
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