Table of Contents
Acknowledgments
Introduction
How to Be a Great Lover in Attitude
1. Falling-in-Love Sex vs. Being-in-Love Sex
2. Sex Beyond Intercourse
3. Give Yourselves Permission
4. Know There Is Always More to Know about Sex
5. Treat Her Like a Lady
6. Gentlemen, Let Her Know You Want to Make Her Come -- Anytime, Anywhere, Anyhow
7. Ladies, Remember That Oral Sex Isn't Just for Dating
8. Let Him Be the Man
9. Stay Current
10. Vulnerability = Value
11. The Legacy of Trusting
12. Relationship As Refuge
13. Intellectual Freedom
14. Cherish
15. Love vs. Lust
16. Stand Up for Your Rights
17. Sowing Roots
18. Frequency Is Dynamic
19. A Calm before the Storm
20. Relish How Your Body Makes Your Lover Feel
21. Are You Willing to Talk Dirty?
22. Are You Open to Enhancers?
23. Great Lover Moment: Great Lovers Are Shrewd Consumers
24. Be Brave Enough to Share Your Innermost Fantasies
25. Be Willing to Change Something about Your Appearance to Suit Your Lover's Preference
26. Be Willing to Listen to Your Lover's Complaints about You
27. Be Gentle When Airing a Disappointment or Hurt Caused by Your Partner
28. Practice Approaching Your Partner from a Point of View of Mutual Respect, Not Blame or Defensiveness
29. The Gift of Giving
30. The Richness of Receiving
31. Great Sex Is Chronologically Ageless
32. Great Lover Moment: "I Still Completely Dig Her"
33. The Crying Connection
34. Touch Your Lover's Heart and Soul
35. Insisting on Being Right Can Kill YourSex Life and Threaten Your Relationship
36. Be Proud of Each Other
37. Never Think of Love As Work
38. Remember That the Way You Treat Him or Her at 8 A.M. Impacts the Way He or She Treats You at 8 P.M.
39. Protect What Is Yours
40. Health Benefits of Frequent Sex
41. Great Lover Moment: "She Rejuvenates Me"
42. Lust's Triumvirate
43. Build a Stone House
44. Accept That Some Problems Can't Be Solved
45. Beyond Orgasms
46. Always Be a Beginner
47. Live in a Culture of Appreciation
48. Nurture Those Values You Have in Common
49. Nurture Those Values Related to Family
50. Nurture Those Values Related to Your Spiritual Life
51. Nurture Those Values Related to Work
52. Nurture Those Values Related to Money
53. Court Your Lover, Forever
54. Je Ne Sais Quoi -- or "I Just Can't Explain It"
55. Seasonal Sex
56. Timetables Are for Trains
57. Enlarge Your Expectations -- for Yourself, Your Lover, and Your Relationship
58. Minimize Your Expectations -- for Yourself, Your Lover, and Your Relationship
59. Let Passion and Sex Be a Reward for You As a Couple, Not a Chore or Obligation
60. Don't Get Carried Away by Performance
61. Make Lovemaking a Conscious Lifestyle Choice
62. You Are Committed 24/7
63. Style Differences
64. Be Honest and Forgiving of Your Own Human Frailties
65. Be Honest and Forgiving of Your Lover's Human Frailties
66. Understand That All Aspects of Your Relationship Affect Your Sexual Relationship
67. Understand That Separating the Various Aspects of Your Relationship Can Put Those Parts at Risk
68. Be Open to "Tune-Ups"
69. Be Willing to Challenge Your Own Sexual Comfort Zone
70. Remember That Just Because It Isn't Important to You Doesn't Mean It Isn't Important to Her
How to Be a Great Lover in Behavior
71. Speak to Each Other As You Did When You First Met
72. Gentlemen, Let Her Know She's Irresistible
73. Ladies, Let Him Know He's Irresistible
74. Great Lover Moment: "I Simply Can't Get Enough of Her"
75. Take the Pulse of a Relationship on an Ongoing Basis
76. Ladies, Acknowledge the Things He Does for You
77. Gentlemen, Pay Deep Attention to Her -- in Whatever Way She Wants
78. Act Quickly to Spot and Fix a Problem
79. Learn from Your Mistakes
80. Be an Explorer
81. No Psychic Sex
82. Seal Your Lips
83. Don't Compare Yourselves to Anyone, Much Less Hollywood Idols
84. Live by Your Own Script, Dance to Your Own Drummer, and Sing Your Own Song
85. Romancing the Stone
86. Never Embarrass Each Other
87. Maintain Your Dignity
88. Diplomatic Corps in the Bedroom
89. Keep Talking
90. Learn How to Compromise
91. Be Tastefully Jealous -- Possess Your Lover Culturally and Socially
92. Don't Push Your Lover's Buttons
93. Arguing Is Not Always a Bad Thing
94. Fight Fair (or Learn How To)
95. Are You Clean Enough?
96. Ask and You Shall Receive
97. Be Patient in Creating Your Relationship Even Though Being Patient May Not Be Your Strongest Virtue
98. Great Lover Moment: Take Your Time
99. Don't Be Susceptible to Instant Gratification
100. Money Is the Third Dynamic of a Relationship
101. Treat Your Relationship Like It Is a Living Thing
102. Support and Respect Each Other's Personal Endeavors
103. Give Each Other Space
104. Fight for Your Relationship in Times of Stress
105. Listen to Your Little Voice
106. Be a Great Toucher
107. Turn Off the TV
108. No Kids in the Bed!
109. Home Is Where the Heart Is
110. Hug Each Other
111. Create Emotional Safety
112. Gentlemen, Remember That Your Fingers and Hands Are a Wonderful Source of Pleasure for Your Lady
113. Turn Complaints into Requests
114. Create Important Moments and Make Memories
115. Make Your Lover Laugh
116. Friends and Family Matter
117. Allow Your Partner to Take Credit for Stories, without Correction or Editing
118. Spend Time Alone
119. Spend Time Alone, Together
120. Dine Together Often
121. Is Your Lover One of Your Top Priorities?
122. Reinvent Dinner
123. Plan Trips
124. Plan Outings
125. Plan Sex!
126. Take Care of Your Body
127. Encourage Your Lover to Take Care of His or Her Body
128. Good Grooming
129. Take Care of Your Emotional and Mental Health
130. Remember to Speak Compliments Out Loud
131. Gentlemen, Always Do What You Say You Are Going to Do
132. Seek Out the Solace of Physical Contact
133. Ladies, Go into His Physical Space and Hug Your Man
134. Cuddle First Thing in the Morning
135. Don't Go Looking for Trouble
136. Buy Each Other Garments That Only the Two of You Will See
137. Give Your Partner Downtime upon Returning Home after Work
138. Don't Keep a Running List of Who Did What to Whom
139. Take Pleasure in the Little Things
The Great Lover Playbook of Tips and Techniques
140. Ladies, Know What Turns Him On
141. Great Lover Moment: "My Dear, I Would Really Like a Slice of Pie Tonight"
142. Gentlemen, Know What Turns Her On
Read an Excerpt
40. Health Benefits of Frequent SexDid you know of the many benefits of having sex with your partner? Are you aware of how frequent of regular sex enhances the overall health of your body? Consider these physiological benefits of regular sexual activity:
- enhances your immune system
- heightens mental acuity
- burns calories
- tones muscles
- strengthens the cardiovascular system
- fine tunes your metabolism
- decreases the aging factors
(sources include: Dr. Paul Pearsall's
Superimmunity and Dr. David Weeks's
Secrets of the Super Young.)
202. Eat CakeOr eat other aphrodisiacal foods of your choice. Here are some standard foods that we associate with erotic or aphrodisiacal appeal: artichokes, oysters, and chocolate. But consider expanding your pantry with these foods, in these ways:
- Eat mangoes while naked in bed. They're juicy, so be prepared to lick each other clean.
- Treat her to a lollipop. You like the way she tastes, so why not place the lollipop inside her mouth and then you lick the pop.
- Feed each other any finger food you desire, from Doritos laden with salsa to gold-dusted truffles.
- Spoon berries and cream into each other's mouth, using the spoon or your fingers to trace the cream around each other's bodies.
- Drizzle honey or chocolate or, my favorite, caramel all over each other and then lick it off.
- Pour brandy (or your liqueur of choice) in each other's belly buttons and suck it out.
From the Hardcover edition.
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