I'm the Vampire, That's Why by Michele Bardsley

From Barnes & Noble

The Barnes & Noble Review
The hardships of single moms achieve new, comic heights in Michele Bardsley's paranormal romance. This is the story of Jessica Matthews, a soccer mom inadvertently turned vampire when she goes to take out the garbage. Turns out her hometown, Broken Heart, Oklahoma, has the highest rate of single parents -- and the highest population of vampires. Next thing you know, Jessica's sucking on the femoral artery of a red-hot Irish vampire, Patrick O'Halloran. She has officially joined the undead.

How Jessica manages to adjust to her new nonhuman nature, take care of her children by night and manage them remotely by day, come to terms with her late husband's infidelity, and find an eternal love is just part of the plot. Bardsley punctuates the story with Celtic Irish terms (there's even a glossary) and amusing references to The Princess Bride and the novels of Anne Rice. Ginger Curwen

From the Publisher

There's a new breed of soccer mom in town-with fangs.

Does drinking blood make me a bad mother? That's the question single mom Jessica Matthews faces when she wakes from a savage attack sucking on the thigh of Patrick O'Halloran, a super-hot Irish vampire who'd generously offered his femoral artery to save her from death...only to make her one of the undead.

Jessica can't rest until the beast that did this to her is caught. Meanwhile, she's having trouble committing to Patrick (in the vampire handbook, physical intimacy costs you several hundred years of being bound together) and keeping her kids in line.

Publishers Weekly

When Jessica Matthews, a suburban divorcee and mother of two, gets savagely attacked one night by a werewolf, she awakens to find herself sucking blood from the thigh of 4,000-year-old vampire Patrick O'Halloran. He explains that the only way to have kept her from dying was to turn her into a vampire like himself. Now Jessica finds herself recruited to hunt the rampaging Lycan, who may be Patrick's brother, alongside Patrick and the mysterious paranormal organization called the Consortium. Bardsley has done considerable research into Celtic legends in order to create her vampire society, but her research doesn't make for a successful book. Rather than giving us, as the title would suggest, a satirical look at a soccer mom turned "sucker mom" attempting to balance normal daily life with a most abnormal nightlife, Bardsley focuses on Jessica's explicit sexual longing for Patrick and the mundane conflict between the Consortium and their evil counterparts, the Wraith. Though amusing at times, the meat of this vampire tale is oddly bloodless. (Sept.) Copyright 2006 Reed Business Information.

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