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"I've never read a writer with a more fertile imagination - and fewer inhibitions about using it." (Diana Gabaldon)
Six months of celibacy have made Anita crave the two men in her life like never before. But merging their powers together will give this mortal woman a taste of immortal hunger that she'll never be able to forget...
Bestseller Hamilton's Anita Blake, police consultant, executioner, necromancer, private eye and wereleopard protector, returns in her amorous 10th adventure, driven more by conflicting desires for the lovers she neglected in her last outing, Obsidian Butterfly (2000), than by the urge to solve any mystery. Once again, in a world where vampires and werecreatures are protected by law, Blake attempts to resolve her libido's constant crisis. Plunged into the netherworld of a leather D/S (dominant/submissive) bar, Narcissus in Chains, by the abduction of one of her inherited wereleopards, Blake finds herself deep into shapeshifter politics and a were creature power struggle that is all a metaphor for her own inner struggle. Whom should she choose werewolf Richard or vampire Jean-Claude? Or should she take a new lover? Who cares? Blake is eventually infected by the "ardeur" from the vampire clan and tinged with shapeshifting abilities from the were clan. As she becomes more like the fantastic creatures she protects or kills, she, alas, doesn't get any more interesting as a character. Her obsessions with lust serve mainly to overwhelm a rickety plot. Blake needs to put her clothes back on and get back to work. Too much flesh and not enough plot leads to the old but so true saying, "Less is more." (Oct. 9) Forecast: With a 15-city author tour and 100,000 first printing, this should be as successful saleswise as previous books in the series. Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information.
More Reviews and RecommendationsToss everything you think you know about vampire stories and sword and sorcery novels into an open grave, because Laurell K. Hamilton is reinventing the genres with chills, thrills, and giggles. With her popular Anita Blake and Meredith Gentry series, Hamilton is making dark fantasy fantastically entertaining again.
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January 02, 2010: This was one of my least favorite in the series so far. Anita is becoming too "powerful" for my tastes. I think in this book the last bit of humanity slips away from her. Also the series becomes even more sexually charged in this book. It becomes down right raunchy.
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December 16, 2009: First let me start out by saying that I love this series!!! Anita is one bad a** chick!!! The book has so many awesome characters that seem to grow and grow with each new book!!! This one starts to heat up with more sex and steamier scenes!!! Altogther a great book!!!
Name:
Laurell K. Hamilton
Also Known As:
Laurell Kaye Klein (birth name)
Current Home:
St. Louis, Missouri
Date of Birth:
February 19, 1963
Place of Birth:
Heber Springs, Arkansas
Education:
B.A., Marion College
Awards:
P.E.A.R.L. (Paranormal Excellence Award for Romantic Literature) for A Kiss Of Shadows, 2000
The vampire genre has enthralled readers ever since Bram Stoker introduced a certain Transylvanian count over a century ago. Since then vampires have been used as vehicles for everything from romantic novels to erotica to humor to the expected tales of terror. However, very few writers have combined all of these facets of the never-say-die vampire quite the way that Laurell K. Hamilton has.
Hamilton has not always been under the spell of undead things that go bump-and-grind in the night. When she was a young girl, her literary tastes were a bit more on the traditional side. "I wanted to be Louisa May Alcott, who wrote Little Women, because I had never read any science fiction, fantasy, or horror," she confessed in a podcast on Mayor Slay.com. "Then at 13 or 14 I found Robert E. Howard's short story collection [Pigeons From Hell]. It was the first horror, the first heroic fantasy, the first science fiction I'd ever read, and the moment I read that I knew that not only did I want to be a writer, but this is what I wanted to write."
Furthering Hamilton's burgeoning fascination with the fantastic, she discovered Anthony Masters's The Natural History of the Vampire at her high school library. Coupled with the ghost stories her grandmother had told her when she was a child and heavy doses of Hammer Horror movies from Great Britain, Hamilton was well on her way to creating a character that would only be rivaled by Buffy in the field of vampire slaying.
Hamilton first introduced vampire huntress Anita Blake in her third novel Guilty Pleasures. Blake is an unlikely combination of action hero, federal marshal, "necromancer," and lusty dame. Her exploits between the sheets and in the graveyard won Hamilton a rabid following hungry for something new in the well-traveled vampire genre.
Along with the kinds of scares normally associated with vampire stories, Hamilton's books are notable for their unflinching eroticism. Vampires have had a sexual lure since Stoker, but Hamilton particularly draws that aspect to the surface of her work as one of her creatures might draw blood from a victim. "I [want] a kiss to be so believable it gives the reader shivers," she says on her website. "Two things I do well are sex and violence, but I don't want gratuitous sex or violence. The sex and violence is only as graphic as need be. And never included unless it furthers the plot or character development."
Another unlikely trait of her books is humor, vampire tales classically being of the more solemn sort. However, a writer weaned on a book titled Pigeons From Hell is not likely going to shy away from wit. Consequently, her books have been consistently entertaining and fun, as well as creepy and sexy.
Hamilton has also brought her delicious combination of sex, humor, and frights to another series, this one more ingrained in dark fantasy than horror. Her faerie princess/P.I. Meredith Gentry made her debut in Kiss of Shadows in 2001 and has since sparked her own crowd-pleasing sword and sorcery meets pulp series.
Increasingly, the Anita Blake and Merry Gentry books have added more sexual content to their story lines, classifying both series in a new hybrid genre that blends romance, erotica, and paranormal fantasy. To judge from Hamilton's consistent appearance on the bestseller charts, readers find the mix spellbinding.
One thing you will never find in a Hamilton novel is a cliffhanger. She believes that cliffhangers unfairly tease readers who would then have to wait six months to a year to have some sense of resolution. As she said during an interview with Bill Thompson of Eye On Books, "Every book is a full meal. All the way from the appetizer to the dessert, so that you come away feeling that you've had an experience... and at the end you have that satisfied, full feeling."
Before Laurell K. Hamilton made a full-time career of blood, guts, murder, and mayhem, she had more humane pursuits -- she volunteered at an animal shelter where she played with unwanted pets.
In our interview, Hamilton shared some fun and fascinating facts about herself with us:
"I am incredibly stubborn. Telling me I cannot do something, especially if you cite the fact that I am a girl, will make me want to do it more and do it better."
"I am not my characters. We have some of the same traits in common, but we are very different people."
"Everything inspires me. Getting up in the morning, walking the dogs, watching a music video. Inspiration comes from everywhere."
"I love animals. I own four dogs, two of whom are rescues. In fact, Jimmy is with us because they were going to gas him if we didn't take him with us. As an older dog his chances of finding a home were fairly slim. But he has been a wonderful addition to our home."
"I like spending time with my family and friends. Something I often feel I do not do enough of. But there are only so many hours in a day."
"I like to read other people's works. I love reading cozy or historical mysteries when I can."
"I enjoy interacting with fans at planned public events. I enjoy talking to them and have met many wonderful people."
What was the book that most influenced your life or your career as a writer?
Pigeons From Hell by Robert E. Howard -- it was the first heroic fantasy/horror novel I ever read. I read it and knew that not only did I want to be a writer, but this was what I wanted to write.
Andre Norton was important both for her science fiction and fantasy novels, and the fact that she was a woman. Before I became enamored of fantastic literature, my first writing hero was Louisa May Alcott, as in Little Women, and many more books. When I began writing horror and the like, I thought I'd left her far behind, only to discover that Ms. Alcott had also written gothic horror stories.
What are your favorite books, and what makes them special to you?
What are some of your favorite films, and what makes them unforgettable to you?
What types of music do you like? Is there any particular kind you like to listen to when you're writing?
Tori Amos is a perennial favorite, but I have listened to everything from Nine Inch Nails to The Veggie Tales Christmas album.
If you had a book club, what would it be reading?
Any Nero Wolf books by Rex Stout -- because we (my husband and I) started reading them a year ago. They are clever, charming and the quality of the writing is consistently high. They are a wonderful hybrid of hardboiled detective and super-genius detective.
What are your favorite kinds of books to give -- and get -- as gifts?
I try to pick books that the recipient will actually read. I find most folks give books that they want to read or ones they hope will expand the mind of the recipient whether they like it or not. Books can do all that and still be entertaining. Books should be about the person you're giving it to rather than the gift giver.
As to what kind of books I like to get, I tend to like animal books -- ones with lovely pictures of dogs or other animals.
Do you have any special writing rituals? For example, what do you have on your desk when you're writing?
I don't really have any rituals. And my desk needs to be an uncluttered space for me to work. So most likely I will have a cup of hot tea and the music I have chosen for this book. Much else and I tend to get distracted.
Many writers are hardly "overnight success" stories. How long did it take for you to get where you are today? Any rejection-slip horror stories or inspirational anecdotes?
Nearly fourteen years ago when I was first trying to sell Guilty Pleasures, I had one publishing house reject the book on the grounds that the market couldn't bear another vampire book, and the week they were going to make the decision another vampire novel came out from another publisher. They used that as a reason to reject me, and Anita. They said that the vampire market was dying out, and no one wanted to read about vampires anymore.
I was told by a prominent mystery editor that if my Anita Blake mysteries had been straight mystery, no horror elements, or fantastic elements at all, that I'd have never gotten published. Because I am a woman writing from a first person woman's point of view, that no one would have touched it. Maybe that's true. Maybe it was one of the things that sent Anita around to nearly every publisher before it found a home. I don't know. No one complained about the sexual content of the first book, but then, there wasn't any.
I don't know if I'd have had more trouble if the first few books had had a higher content or not. I do know that by using the tropisms of several different genres, I get to play exactly the way I want to play. I get the tough as nails attitude of a hardboiled-mystery, the monsters and gore level of horror, the sex and sensuality of romance, the sheer wonderment of fantasy, and the feeling of reality that the best science fiction gives to amazingly odd facts. If I hadn't chosen to mix genres I might have had a harder time. Though most people told me that mixing genres this badly would doom me. Just goes to prove that you have to believe in yourself and your vision.
If you could choose one new writer to be "discovered," who would it be?
Rett MacPherson. The Victory O'Shea mysteries are delightfully different. First, the main character, Torie, is happily married, has more than one child and a mother who has been wheelchair bound most of Torie's life. The books are set around a small Missouri town that is a concentrated version of several historic towns here. Rett makes good use of Torie's extended family in the books and explains dramatic versions of some of the problems we all face with blood relatives. The series began in 1998 with Family Skeletons and is now in it's eighth book with the just-published In Sheep's Clothing.
They are fun to read and I don't think enough people have found them yet. Rett is also a personal friend and member of my writing group.
What tips or advice do you have for writers still looking to be discovered?
Write. You'd be surprised how many wanna-be writers never seem to do that. Write, then finish it. Finish the story. Finish the book. Do two pages a day, every day. Do not revise as you go. If you come to something you don't know, like what does 14th century underwear look like, put a note, skip it, and keep writing. I hear the wailing and gnashing of teeth, but trust me I've met too many writers that have the perfect three chapters of their book, but nothing more. Three chapters isn't a book, it's a beginning -- finish it.
Once you have hundreds of pages on the other side of your computer, then go through and fill in those blank spots with research. Now, you can look up how to undress your 14th century heroine. Now you can chorography that fight scene. If you spend more than a week on a scene, maybe two days, skip it, write a note that says, fight scene here. You know who wins, just move on, keep going. The second draft is just filling in the blank notes. The third draft is where you begin to edit, and polish the writing. I did seven drafts of my first book, and I wrote it just like I've described. It sold. Most first novels don't. My way is not the only way, heaven knows, but it's the way that allowed me to write my first five to six books.
I've gotten better at my job, and I no longer need seven drafts to get it where I want to be. But I find even today, as I write my seventeenth novel, that if I spend more than a week on a scene, I'm stuck, and I need to move on. Perfectionism has set in, and I'm trying to make it perfect. Perfection is an unattainable goal -- trust me on that. Just write, try not to worry, and when it's done, send it out. Try to sell it. For money. Not copies, not for friends to read. Sell it. This is a business, not a charity. Remember that. Your goal is to earn a living writing what you most love, right? Well, if that's your goal, act like it.
I always started at the highest paying appropriate market for my short stories, and then worked down as they got rejected. I'm assuming that you have researched your markets and aren't trying to send vampire stories to magazines that don't even buy fiction. It's a business, remember. Sending your stories to inappropriate markets is like showing up for a job interview because you really want to edit fiction books, but you've walked into a computer-engineering firm. They don't edit fiction books there. Sending your story to the wrong market is the same deal.
Here's another important piece of advice: send the story, or book out, then get started on the next one. Don't fret, and hover around the mailbox angsting over that one story. It's like a mother with one child -- you worry more. So have more literary children, that way when one is rejected you know that there are others out there, that haven't been. It takes some of the sting out of the rejection process. Not a lot, but some. You've got to want this more than any other job, and you've got to toughen your ego, so that the business doesn't crush you. Be tough. Believe in yourself and your dreams.
With the highly acclaimed Obsidian Butterfly, Laurell K. Hamilton's vampire hunter, Anita Blake, came into her own. She survived a supernatural onslaught unlike any she had ever faced before - and she did it without the two men in her life.
Now, six months have passed since Anita has seen either Jean-Claude or Richard. Six months of celibacy. Six months of indecision. Six months of danger. For her body carries the marks of both vampire and werewolf, and until the triumvirate is consummated, all three remain vulnerable.
But when a kidnapper targets innocents that Anita has sworn to protect, she needs all the help she can get. In an earth-shattering union, Anita, Jean-Claude, and Richard merge the marks - and melt into one another. Suddenly, Anita can harness both their powers. She can feel their hearts...hear their thoughts... know their hungers...
Nothing can save Anita from the twist of fate that draws her ever closer to the brink of humanity - to finally surrender to the bloodlust, the beast, and the desire transforming her body and consuming her soul...
Bestseller Hamilton's Anita Blake, police consultant, executioner, necromancer, private eye and wereleopard protector, returns in her amorous 10th adventure, driven more by conflicting desires for the lovers she neglected in her last outing, Obsidian Butterfly (2000), than by the urge to solve any mystery. Once again, in a world where vampires and werecreatures are protected by law, Blake attempts to resolve her libido's constant crisis. Plunged into the netherworld of a leather D/S (dominant/submissive) bar, Narcissus in Chains, by the abduction of one of her inherited wereleopards, Blake finds herself deep into shapeshifter politics and a were creature power struggle that is all a metaphor for her own inner struggle. Whom should she choose werewolf Richard or vampire Jean-Claude? Or should she take a new lover? Who cares? Blake is eventually infected by the "ardeur" from the vampire clan and tinged with shapeshifting abilities from the were clan. As she becomes more like the fantastic creatures she protects or kills, she, alas, doesn't get any more interesting as a character. Her obsessions with lust serve mainly to overwhelm a rickety plot. Blake needs to put her clothes back on and get back to work. Too much flesh and not enough plot leads to the old but so true saying, "Less is more." (Oct. 9) Forecast: With a 15-city author tour and 100,000 first printing, this should be as successful saleswise as previous books in the series. Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information.
Loading...The bedroom was empty when he kicked the door shut behind us. I didn't know if the living room had been empty or not. I couldn't remember anything but Richard's eyes from the kitchen to the bedroom. Every room might have been empty for all I'd seen.
We kissed just inside the door; my hands were full of the rich thickness of his hair, the firm warmth of his neck. I explored his face with my hands, my mouth, tasted, teased, caressed, just his face.
He drew back from my mouth enough to say, "If I don't sit down, I'm going to fall down, my knees are weak."
I laughed, full-throated, and said, "Then put me down."
He half-walked, half-staggered to the bed, laying me on it, going to his knees beside it. He was laughing as he crawled onto the bed. He lay beside me, his knees hanging over the side of the bed, though since he was tall enough that his feet actually touched the floor when he lay like that, maybe hanging wasn't the right word. We lay beside each other on the bed, laughing softly, not touching.
We turned our heads to look at each other at the same moment. His eyes sparkled with the laughter, his whole face almost shining with it. I reached out and traced the lines of laughter around his mouth. The laughter began to fade as soon as I touched him, his eyes filling up with something darker, more serious, but no less precious. He rolled onto his side. The movement put my hand along the side of his face. He rubbed his face into my hand, eyes closed, lips half-parted.
I rolled onto my stomach and moved toward him, my hand still on his face. He opened his eyes, watching me crawl toward him. I propped myself up on hands and knees and watched his eyes as I leanedin toward his mouth. There was eagerness there, but there was also something else, something fragile. Did my eyes mirror that look, half-eager, half-fearful, wanting, afraid to want, needing, and afraid to need?
My mouth hovered over his, our lips touching, delicate as butterflies blown by a warm summer wind, touching, not touching, sliding along each other, gliding away. His hand grabbed the back of my neck, forced my mouth to press against his, hard, firm. He used tongue and lips to force my mouth open. I opened to him and we took turns exploring each other's mouth. He came to his knees, hand still pressed to the back of my neck, our mouths still locked together. He drew back, crawling backward to the head of the bed, leaving me kneeling alone in the center of the bed. He reached under the covers, drew out pillows, propped himself up, watching me. There was something almost decadent with him naked, propped up, watching me.
I knelt looking back at him, having a little trouble focusing, thinking. I finally managed to say, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," he said, voice deep, lower than normal. It wasn't the growl of his beast; it was a peculiarly male sound.
"I want to run my beast through you, Anita."
For a split second, I thought it was a euphemism, then I realized he meant exactly what he'd said. "Richard, I don't know."
"I know you don't like otherworldly stuff during sex, but Anita..." He settled into the pillows in a strange smoothing motion that somehow reminded me that he wasn't human, "I felt your beast. It rolled through me."
Just hearing it out loud took a little of the glow off for me. I slumped back against the bed, still on my knees, but no longer upright, hands limp in my lap. "Richard, I haven't had time to think this through. I don't know how I feel about it yet."
"It's not all bad, Anita. Some of it can be wondrous."
This from the man who had hated his beast for the entire time I'd known him; but I didn't say it out loud, I just looked at him.
He smiled. "I know how strange that sounds coming from me."
I looked at him harder.
He laughed, settling lower on the pillows until he was sprawled in front of me. One leg bent up so he wouldn't touch me, but close enough that I could have touched him. He lay there unself-consciously nude, which I'd seen before, but it was more than that. He seemed bathed in a comfortableness that was rare for Richard. I'd seen it at the lupanar, that he'd accepted his beast, but it was more than that, he'd accepted himself.
"What do you want from me, Richard?"
This was his cue to get serious, to demand I be less bloodthirsty, or a half dozen other impossible things. He didn't. "I want this," he said, and I felt the prickling rush of his power a second before it passed through me like a warm ghost.
I shuddered with it. "I don't know, Richard, I don't know if this is a good idea." It would have sounded better if my voice hadn't had a tremble in it.
I expected him to ask, or talk, but he didn't. I felt his power like a brush of thunder a second before it smashed into me. I had a second of panic, a moment to wonder if his beast and mine would claw me apart, then his power rubbed through me like a velvet glove. My beast rose as if from a great, warm, wet, depth, up, up, to meet the warm, burning rush of Richard's energy. He pushed his beast through me and I could feel it, impossibly huge, the brush of fur so deep inside me that I cried out. I felt his beast as if it had crawled inside me and was caressing things from the inside that his hands would never have touched. My power seemed less certain than his, less solid. But it rose around the hard, muscled fur like velvet mist, swirling through his power, through my own body. Until it felt as if something huge was growing inside me, something I'd never felt before, swelling inside me. It felt larger than my body, as if I couldn't hold it inside myself, like a cup filled to the brim with something hot and scalding, but the liquid kept pouring in, and still I held it, held it, held it, until it burst over me, through me, out of me, in a roar of power that turned the world golden and slow, drew my body to its knees, curved my back, sent my hands clawing at the air trying to hold onto something, anything, while my body spilled apart, and remade itself on the bed. For a space of labored heartbeats I thought he'd brought on the change, and I had slipped my skin for real, but it wasn't that. I felt like I was floating and only gradually felt my body again. I lay on my back, my knees folded under me, hands limp at my sides, so relaxed it was like being drugged.
I felt the bed move under me, and a moment-or a minute-later, Richard appeared above me. He was on all fours, looming over me, and I had trouble focusing on his face. He cradled my face, staring into my eyes, while I tried to look at him. "Anita, are you all right?"
I laughed then, slow and lazy. "Help me get my knees straightened out, and I'll be fine."
He helped me straighten my legs, and even then all I wanted to do was just lie there. "What did you do to me?"
He lay down beside me, propped on one elbow. "I brought you using the beasts."
I blinked at him, licked my lips, and tried to think of an intelligent question, gave up, and settled for what I wanted to know. "Is it always like that between lycanthropes?"
"No," he said, and leaned over me, until his face filled my vision. "No, only a true lupa, or a true Nimir-ra, can respond to my Ulfric the way you just did."
I touched his chest enough to back him up so I could see his face clearly. "You've never done that with anyone before?"
He looked down then, a curtain of his hair sliding over his face, hiding his face from me. I pushed his hair back so I could see that nearly perfect profile. "Who?" I asked.
Heat washed up his neck and face. I wasn't sure I'd ever seen him blush before. "It was Raina, wasn't it?"
He nodded. "Yes."
I let his hair fall back in place and lay there for a few seconds thinking about it. Then I was laughing, laughing, and couldn't stop.
He was back at my shoulder, peering down at me. "Anita?"
The laughter faded as I looked into his worried eyes. "When you forced Raina to give you up all those years ago, did you know that she was the only one that could do this with you?"
He nodded, face solemn. "Raina pointed out the down side of not being her pet."
I took his hand and slid it down the front of my satin shorts. His fingertips found the wetness that had soaked through the satin, and I didn't have to guide his hand anymore. He cupped that big hand of his over my groin, and the cloth was soaked through. He traced fingertips across my inner thigh and the skin was wet, wet down to my knees.
"How did you give it up?" My voice came out in a whisper.
His finger slid up the inside of my thigh, in the hollow just below. He leaned in to kiss me as his finger slid slowly upward across the moist skin under the wet satin. His mouth stayed just above mine, so close that a sharp breath would have made us touch. He spoke, his breath warm on my skin as his finger caressed the edge of me. "No amount of pleasure was worth her price."
Two things happened at once; he kissed me, and his finger slid inside of me. I screamed against his mouth, back arching, fingernails digging into his shoulder as his finger found that small spot, and thrust over it, and over it, until he brought me again; the world had soft, white edges like seeing through gauze.
I felt the bed move, but couldn't focus, couldn't see, wasn't sure I cared what was happening. Hands fumbled at my shorts. I blinked up to see Richard kneeling over me. He slid my shorts down my legs, spread my legs, and knelt between them. He leaned over me, raising the satin camisole, baring my breasts. He ran his hands across them, made me writhe, then rolled his hands down the line of my body, his hands gripping my thighs, bringing me in a harsh jerk against his body.
The moment he rubbed against the outside of me, I felt the rubbery latex of the condom. I looked up at his face, and asked, "How did you know?"
He moved so that his lower body was lying between my legs, but still pressed against the outside of my body. Most of his weight was supported by his arms like a modified push-up position. "Do you really think Jean-Claude would warn me about the arduer and not warn me that you weren't on birth control?"
"Good point," I said.
"No," he said, "this is." I felt the movement of his hips seconds before he thrust inside me, in one powerful movement that drove sounds from my mouth, somewhere between a scream, and a shout.
He lowered his head enough to see my face. I lay gasping under him, but whatever he saw there reassured him, because he arched his back, his face looking somewhere in the distance, and drew himself out of me, slowly, inch by inch, until I made small noises. He drew himself out until he was barely touching inside me. I gazed down the length of my body to see him stretched hard and ready. He'd always been careful of me, because he wasn't small; that one first thrust had been more force than he'd ever allowed himself. He filled me up, hit that point deep inside that was either pain or pleasure. I saw his back and hips flex a second before he thrust into me again. I watched him thrust into me, saw every inch of him plunge into me, until it bowed my back, my neck, and I couldn't watch because I was writhing underneath him, my hands scrambling at the bedspread, digging fingers into the covers.
He drew himself out of me again, and I stopped him with a hand on his stomach. "Wait, wait." I was having trouble breathing.
"It's not hurting you, I can tell by your face, your eyes, your body."
I swallowed, took a shaky breath, and said, "No, it's not hurting me. It feels wonderful, but you've always been so careful, even when I asked you not to be. What's changed?"
He looked down at me, his hair falling around his face like a silken frame. "I was always afraid of hurting you before. But I felt your beast."
"I haven't changed yet, Richard, we don't know for sure."
"Anita," he said softly, and I knew he was chiding me. Maybe it was a case of the lady protesting too much, but still...
"I'm still human, Richard, I haven't changed yet."
He leaned over me, his hair gliding around my face as he kissed me gently on the cheek. "Even before the first full moon, we can take more damage. The change has already begun, Anita."
I pushed against his chest until he drew back enough for me to see his face. "You've always been holding back, haven't you?"
"Yes," he said.
I searched his face and saw such need in his eyes, and I knew why he'd been so angry at Gregory. He'd said that he almost regretted not making me his lupa, now that he'd seen me be Nimir-ra, but it was more than that. I looked into his brown eyes in the spill of early morning light and knew that he'd wanted me to be what he was, even though he hated it, that at some level he'd been tempted to make me his lupa for real. Somewhere in the lovemaking, where he had to be so careful, he'd thought of it, more than once. It was there in his eyes, his face. He started to look away as if he could feel that I saw it all, but he made himself look back, meet my gaze. He was almost defiant.
"How careful have you been of me, Richard?"
He did look away then, using his hair as a shield. I reached through that thick hair to touch his face, to turn him to look at me. "Richard, how careful have you been of me?"
There was something close to pain in his eyes. He whispered, "Very."
I held his face between my hands. "You don't have to be careful anymore."
A look of soft wonderment crossed his face, and he bent his head down, and we kissed, kissed as we had earlier, prodding, exploring, taking turns at thrusting into each other. He drew slowly back from the kiss and I felt the tip of him touch my opening. I stared down the length of our bodies so I could watch as his body flexed above me, and he thrust himself inside me harder this time, quicker. It brought my breath in a soundless scream.
"Anita..."
I opened my eyes, not realizing I'd closed them. I gazed up at him. "Don't be careful anymore, Richard, don't be careful."
He smiled, gave me a quick kiss, then he was back, arched above me, and this time he didn't stop. He thrust every inch of himself into me as hard and as fast as he could. The sound of flesh into flesh became a constant sound, a wet hammering. I realized it hadn't been just his size that made him careful, but his strength. He could have bench-pressed the bed we lay on, and that strength lay not just in his arms, or back, but in his legs, his thighs, in the body he was pressing inside me, over and over again. For the first time ever, I began to appreciate the full power of him.
I'd felt the strength in his hands, his arms, when he held me, but it was nothing to this. He made of our bodies one body, one pounding, sweating, soaking, drenching piece of flesh. I was vaguely aware that it did hurt, that I was bruising, and I didn't care.
I called out his name as my body tightened around his, squeezing, and I spasmed underneath him, my body slamming against the bed, not from Richard's thrusts, but from the power of the orgasm itself; screams spilled from my throat as my body rocked underneath him. It felt good, better than almost anything, but it was almost violence, almost pain, almost frightening. Somewhere in the midst of it all I was aware that he came, too. He screamed my name, but held his place, while I continued to writhe and fight underneath him. It wasn't until I lay quiet that he allowed himself to collapse on top of me, slightly to one side so my face wouldn't be pressed into his chest.
We lay in a sweating, breathless heap, waiting for our hearts to slow enough to speak. He found his voice first. "Thank you, thank you for trusting me."
I laughed. "You're thanking me." I raised his hand to my mouth and kissed the palm, then rested his hand against my face. "Trust me, Richard, it was my pleasure."
He laughed, that rich throaty sound that is purely male, and purely sexual. "We're going to need another shower."
"Whichever of us can walk first can have the first shower," I said.
He laughed and hugged me. I wasn't even sure my legs would work enough to shower. Maybe a bath.
-- From Narcissus in Chains by Laurell K. Hamilton, Copyright (c) 2001, Berkley Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Putnam, used by permission.
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