Wear Your Life Well: Use What You Have to Get What You Want by Marilu Henner, Lorin Henner (With)

From the Publisher

It's not enough just to live—you have to wear your life well!

Learn how in this inspiring guide from New York Times bestselling author and beloved actress Marilu Henner.

Marilu Henner is in better shape now in her fifties than she was in her twenties—at peak health, working with her active online community at Marilu.com, and celebrating life with her new husband, whom she helped cure of cancer. Now she's back with this exciting guide to making your life work for you, whatever your age or condition.

With the verve of a teenager and the wisdom of a sage, Marilu breaks down all the elements in our lives—our minds, our bodies, and the world around us—that can sabotage our progress, and helps us discover the best in ourselves. Whether you need a major life change or simply want new ideas on improving your life, Marilu Henner is your perfect cheerleader, muse, and mentor.

Product Details

• Table of Contents
• Read a Sample Chapter

Table of Contents

Read a Sample Chapter

Chapter One

Getting Out Of Your Comfort Zone: The Fun of Facing Your Fears!

What do you truly want to do with your life? Have you ever really figured it out? I'm not just asking what you want to be when you grow up. This has more to do with your overall life design and covers more territory than just your career. This includes everything—your family, education, diet, health, free time, hobbies, friends, home, travel, even your mission statement. I mean, in theory we all know what we want in our lives, and most people are deeply rooted in the lifestyle they're already living—whether or not they're happy about that! But have you ever truly thought this through and conceived in detail your ideal life, without thinking about the obstacles to or consequences of actually pulling it off? Doing this could become the most important exercise you've ever undertaken.

If you really could design your ideal life, how close would it be to the life you're living right now? When asked this question, most people propose a life with more than they now have, which usually means a bigger and better house, a more successful and rewarding career, more time to spend with family, more money, owning a business, being famous—the list is endless. We naturally want more, but we rarely factor in the consequences of having more. There are responsibilities that automatically come with having more in your life, and even though we don't always consciously think about it, we are aware of it subconsciously. Deep down we know that these responsibilitieschallenge what we've already set up in our cozy little comfort zones.

The risk of losing some of our comfort in life plays a prominent role in our efforts to attain our goals. We know that changing our lives for the better may come with a price tag, and that price is more responsibility, leading to more stress, and therefore less comfort. It's difficult to create the life you want until you identify, control, or at least understand your own comfort zones. You also need to be aware of your life goals, so you can recognize which comfort zones you're protecting—and which responsibilities or burdens you may be avoiding.

My Comfort Zone

Everyone has his or her own unique comfort zones that come in all shapes and sizes. I have some that are significant and others that are trivial. My silliest comfort zone is the way I like to sleep. For years people have teased me about my sleeping requirements—a room so dark you never know what time it is. (Elvis would have been proud!) In fact, I have "blackout shades requested" written into every location contract I sign, but not because I'm a diva. I need to sleep in a dark room because I love to be awake! Any hint of light represents action, and I automatically want to be part of that action. If there's so much as a firefly out there, I'm ready to party!

No matter how crazy my sleeping comfort zone seems to others, it's certainly better than my eating comfort zone was years ago, before I got healthy and lost fifty-five pounds. Back then I lived under the tyranny of stupid diets, thinking that alternating deprivation with gluttony was the way to go. The discomfort of being heavy and bloated all the time was even part of this comfort zone. It was only after I acquired the necessary knowledge and retrained my palate that my eating comfort zone changed.

In figuring out how to use what you have to get what you want, it's necessary to take an honest look at your whole life and see where you're at, right here, right now.

What are your comfort zones? What have you set up in your life to support the good and bad behaviors that make you "you"? How do you relate to everyone and everything around you, from your eating patterns to your sleeping rituals, your exercise routines to your clothing choices, your relationship strategies to the way you think and feel about yourself? What are your habits that may even feel comfortably uncomfortable? What made you set up certain conditions so that you can continue to succeed . . . or fail? And where did you learn how to set up these conditions? Are you mimicking your parents? Rebelling against your family? Or have you just learned the best way to survive?

Looking at other people's lives, you may often think, I could never live like that. Their schedule is too crazy. Their house is too chaotic. Their relationship is too dramatic. Yet, when you look closely, you see that it works for them! We all have those quirky things we think we need in our lives in order to survive. If someone took away your comfort zone, what would be your backup? Would you need one? Or would it be better if you were forced to give it up with nothing to replace it?

You get interesting answers when you ask people, "What does the phrase ‘comfort zone' mean to you?" The responses will vary, but what is most telling is that each person mentions first the area of his or her life that needs the most help. Many people talk about their relationships, and yet pick the same unhappy situation over and over again. It proves that we all know what we're trying to get away with, and that we're not fooling anyone—least of all ourselves!

The point is to challenge yourself to get out of your comfort zones if staying in one doesn't move your life forward. Staying in your comfort zone seems to be one of the main barriers to achieving your goals, because it keeps you rigid and less adaptable to diversity and change. When you're in a comfort zone, you'll tend to do the same things over and over because it's easy. You know what to expect and how to respond without thinking.