The Reformed Vampire Support Group by Catherine Jinks

From the Publisher

Think vampires are romantic, sexy, and powerful? Think again. Vampires are dead. And unless they want to end up staked, they have to give up fanging people, admit their addiction, join a support group, and reform themselves.
Nina Harrison, fanged at fifteen and still living with her mother, hates the Reformed Vampire Support Group meetings every Tuesday night. Even if she does appreciate Dave, who was in a punk band when he was alive, nothing exciting ever happens. That is, until one of group members is mysteriously destroyed by a silver bullet. With Nina (determined to prove that vamps aren't useless or weak) and Dave (secretly in love with Nina) at the helm, the misfit vampires soon band together to track down the hunter, save a werewolf, and keep the world safe from the likes of themselves.
The perfect anecdote to slick vampire novels, this murder-mystery comedy of errors will thrill fans of Evil Genius.

Publishers Weekly

Jinks's signature facility with plot and character development is intact as she turns to the topic of vampires-as fans can anticipate, hers are not the romantic superheroes of the Stephenie Meyers books. Hers are a ragtag bunch: anemic, whiny, unattractive, they feed on guinea pigs (because they're small, "their drained cadavers can be concealed without much effort," and they breed quickly), and they turn for support to an idealistic priest. Nina, the narrator, is in her 50s, but was "infected" at 15 and chafes at being treated like an adolescent; she writes a sensational vampire series with a seductive, powerful heroine totally unlike herself, giving Jinks opportunity for comic contrasts. Throwing in delicious details and aperçus, the author works her way from the murder of one of the vampires to suspense and adventure of the sinister yet daffy variety beloved by readers of Evil Genius. The plot twists, more ornate than in previous works, ramp up the giddiness-and, perhaps, camouflage the corpses, blood and other byproducts of the genre. Ages 12-up. (Apr.)

Children's Literature

The life of a vampire is anything but easy or glamorous. Just ask Nina, who was "infected" years ago at age fifteen. It means living with your mother, reluctantly attending a weekly vampire support group and draining guinea pigs for dinner (messy and better left behind the bathroom door). All in all, it is a tedious and wearisome existence. Then, one of their own is discovered...dead...destroyed...his coffin filled with ashes, a wooden stake and a silver bullet. The silver bullet is their only clue, but it leads them not only to the nerdy vampire slayer responsible for Casimir's death but to a bloody and lucrative father-and-son enterprise. This is a thoroughly entertaining read filled with eccentric characters who navigate the twists and turns of a clever plot to discover that their lives may have more meaning than they ever thought possible. And despite all the "blooding, and vomiting, and dead guinea pigs, and bad breath, and hemorrhages, and dizzy spells," the characters here are doing their best. What more can be expected from any normal human beings? Recommended. Reviewer: Anita Barnes Lowen

VOYA

Nina, fanged by Casimir when she was fifteen years old, knows that vampires are nothing like Zadia Bloodstone, heroine of the vampire romances she writes. Nina, now fifty-one, lives in fear of vampire slayers and belongs to Father Ramon's reform group. Vowing to eschew human blood—a pledge made possible by their ingestion of an enzyme supplement—Nina and the motley crew of vampires feed on guinea pigs. Nina's boring life in her mother's house changes when Casimir's ashes are found, along with a silver bullet, and she takes part in tracking down his murderer. The trail leads the vampires to the Australian outback where they become embroiled with the McKinnons who are operating werewolf fights. In the midst of saving teenage werewolf Reuben and dealing with slayer Nefly who becomes an ally, one of the vampires, Horace, breaks his vow and infects two more humans. Jink's romance has an action-packed, fastmoving plot that becomes increasingly complicated. The novel's strength is in the diverse vampire characters, including Horace with his ridiculous vampire outfit; Sanford, a doctor and organizer; and Dave, a former band musician who is in love with Nina and turns into a hero. Nina's long-suffering, non-vampire mother is well drawn, but Father Ramon is unbelievably saintly. Nina's first-person narration provides, in a mix of humor and the grotesque, details of the physiological changes (intestinal) and necessary adjustments that she makes in accepting her life as a vampire. This one is sure to be popular among vampire fans. Reviewer: Hilary Crew

School Library Journal

Gr 7 Up

Nina Harrison has been 15 years old since 1973. That's because she is a vampire. She and the members of the Reformed Vampire Support Group break the mold when compared to the accepted vampire lore that has been around since the time of Count Dracula. They are not beautiful, strong, powerful, rich, or in control. Instead they are sickly, struggling just to stay alive, living on the blood of the guinea pigs they keep, and making the best of their affliction. They have vowed not to drink human blood or be responsible for the creation of another vampire. Nina hates her boring, uneventful life, which changes drastically when Casimir is staked and the group, realizing that the killer knows who and where they are, all move in with Nina and her mother, a nonvampire. With only a silver bullet as a clue to track the vampire slayer, Nina, Dave, and Father Ramon, who sponsors the group, set out on a dangerous journey. Along the way they rescue a werewolf from an illegal fight ring, deal with a villainous father/son team, and discover that their immortal lives might have more to offer than they ever thought. Support Group is truly like no other vampire story. It is witty, cunning, and humorous, with numerous plot twists and turns. Jinks has conjured up an eccentric but believable cast of characters in a story full of action and adventure.-Donna Rosenblum, Floral Park Memorial High School, NY

Kirkus Reviews

Narrator Nina, "fanged" 35 years ago at age 15, supports herself by writing sexy vampire novels, but in fact she and her fellow Australian vampires (all seven of them) suffer from chronic nausea and extreme light sensitivity (which results in frequent eye hemorrhages), and subsist on animal blood and supplements devised by the 19th-century doctor in the group. When the barely reformed vampire who infected Nina is killed, she, rocker-vamp Dave (the liveliest of the bunch) and their human priest set off to find the killer but instead find a captive werewolf, a nerdy vampire slayer and-for Nina and Dave-a chance at love. Nina's whininess may be off-putting but her growth rings true for a stunted adolescent, and Jinks's quirky sense of humor will appeal to fans of her Evil Genius series. Those tired of torrid bloodsucker stories or looking for a comic riff on the trend will feel refreshed by the vomitous, guinea-pig-drinking accidental heroics of Nina and her pals. (Fantasy. 12 & up)

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We wouldn't give up until Casimir's killer had been identified.

"As long as he's out there, we're in mortal danger," Sanford insisted, addressing us all in a solemn, self-important manner that—for once—didn't seem overblown or inappropriate. "We have to act as a team and work together for as long as it takes. Because if we don't, we might not get through this."

It's funny; I hate so much about my life. I hate the cramps, and the nausea, and the boredom, and the listlessness. I hate surviving on guinea pigs, and not being able to get a decent haircut. But that night, when it came to choosing between life and death, I didn't hesitate. Not for one second.

I didn't want to end up as a pile of ashes on a bedroom floor.