The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures by Dossie Easton, Janet W. Hardy

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(Paperback - Revised)

  • Pub. Date: March 2009
  • 296pp
  • Sales Rank: 21,520

    Reader Rating: (2 ratings)

    Detailed Rating: "Organization" See All

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    • Overview
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    Product Details

    • Pub. Date: March 2009
    • Publisher: Ten Speed Press
    • Format: Paperback, 296pp
    • Sales Rank: 21,520

    Synopsis

    The essential guide for singles and couples who want to explore polyamory in ways that are ethically and emotionally sustainable.

    For anyone who has ever dreamed of love, sex, and companionship beyond the limits of traditional monogamy, this groundbreaking guide navigates the infinite possibilities that open relationships can offer. Experienced ethical sluts Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy dispel myths and cover all the skills necessary to maintain a successful and responsible polyamorous lifestyle--from self-reflection and honest communication to practicing safe sex and raising a family. Individuals and their partners will learn how to discuss and honor boundaries, resolve conflicts, and to define relationships on their own terms.

    "I couldn't stop reading it, and I for one identify as an ethical slut. This is a book for anyone interested in creating more pleasure in their lives . . . a complete guide to improving any style of relating, from going steady to having an extended family of sexual friends." --Betty Dodson, PhD, author of Sex for OneReviewsPRAISE FOR THE SECOND EDITION“This book is the definitive guide to having your marriage and eating other people too. The Ethical Slut made me the ethical slut I am today, and I am so proud!” —Margaret cho, comedian and author of I’m the One That I Want “The Ethical Slut is one of the most useful relationship books you could ever read, no matter what your lifestyle choices. It’s chock-full of great information about communication, jealousy, asking for what you want, and maintaining a relationship with integrity.An absolute masterpiece and a must-read!” —Annie Sprinkle, PhD, sexologist and author of Dr. Sprinkle’s Spectacular Sex “Many people wish for and dream of a wider world sexually and live out their lives unable to find the courage to explore. This book is a thoughtful, practical, and loving look at that exploration.” —David crosby, musician and author of Since Then“The Ethical Slut, in this new and expanded edition, is the definitive guide for creating and sustaining all conscious relationships—polyamorous, open, alternative, and monogamous. Don’t enter into another relationship without it!” —Barbara Carrellas, author of Urban Tantra “Dossie and Janet’s blend of good humor and forthright honesty makes for some of the best writing I have found on sexually complicated relationships and blended family options. Engaging, disarming, forthright—this is the book for those of us still brave enough to make the ethically complex choices.” —Dorothy Allison, author of Bastard Out of Carolina PRAISE FOR THE FIRST EDITION “I couldn’t stop reading it, and I for one identify as an ethical slut. This is a book for anyone interested in creating more pleasure in their lives . . . a complete guide to improving any style of relating, from going steady to having an extended family of sexual friends.” —Betty Dodson, PhD, author of Sex for One “A useful guidebook for radical relationship travelers . . . experienced counsel to those on the polysexual frontier.” —Ryam Nearing, Loving More magazine “A post-graduate course in ethical relationships of every stripe. The authors pull no punches and are totally outrageous. . . . You’ll never be bored.” —Stan Dale, DHS, founder of the Human Awareness Institute “Frank, funny, and full of practical advice . . . life-saving validation, empathy, and plenty of insider tips from the experienced big sisters you probably weren’t fortunate enough to have.” —Deborah Anapol, PhD, author of Polyamory: The New Love without Limits

    More Reviews and Recommendations

    Biography

    JANET W. HARDY is the author of more than 10 books and founder of Greenery Press, a San Francisco Bay Area book publisher specializing in sexually adventurous books. She swore off monogamy in 1987.THE AUTHOR SCOOP

    Do you eat your vegetables?Yes, but I’d rather steal your dessert.Have any good pet stories?My dear Amy – a gigantic shaggy lab/poodle mix who went to doggie heaven last summer – is still the stuff of legend in San Francisco’s alt-sex scene. One evening, she wandered into the room during a bondage demo: a sweetie of ours was modeling a spreadeagle pose. Amy took one look at her beloved auntie and immediately flopped down next to her on her back, all four legs spread out in the identical pose, as the room dissolved in hysterics and Auntie sat up, rubbing her wrists indignantly, and sputtered, “Upstaged by a fucking dog!”Are you "six degrees of separation" away from anyone famous?Distantly related to Clement C. Moore, author of The Night Before Christmas.Do you have a scar anywhere on your body? How did you get it?A stylized elephant branded on my right calf, put there by Fakir Musafar. Elephants are large, smart and matriarchal – hence, my totem.What was your favorite birthday?Ah, this is a good one… my 35th, the year my two main squeezes at the time took a cabin at Sea Ranch for my birthday and we spent the weekend mushroom-hunting, binge-eating and fucking.Name a favorite dish that your mother used to make.“Israeli salad,” which she learned to make when she was trapshooting on the American team in the Maccabiah Games, the Jewish olympics. A chopped salad made with tomatoes, cukes, hard-boiledeggs, bell peppers, etc., and tossed with olive oil and lemon juice.What is your favorite thing about being an author?Spelunking in my own brain.


    DOSSIE EASTON is a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in alternative sexualities and open relationships. She is the author of four other books. She lives in the San Francisco Bay Area and has been an ethical slut since 1969.

    Customer Reviews

    • Reader Rating:
    • Ratings: 2Reviews: 1

    amazing, essential book for all kinds of relationshipsby IReadInTrees

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    April 24, 2009: The Ethical Slut is incredible!

    I first read The Ethical Slut (first edition) as part of a college course. As an undergrad, I was already well on my way to being a proud slut - I did the usual versions of short-term college dating, hookups, f***buddies, threesomes, and the like, with or without a committed partner at various times. It all felt natural and right, but there were invariably awkward moments of poor negotiation, misunderstood communication, and mis-handled jealousy.

    When I read The Ethical Slut, I found an amazing wealth of information and suggestions on how I could make my various relationships work better and more smoothly. I wished I'd had this book all along - it would have saved so much trouble! If only I'd known that an agreement to "see other people" wasn't nearly complete enough! The Ethical Slut lays out all the things to think about in having open relationships of various sorts. I've been called a slut since I was 14, but it was this book that gave me the idea that being a slut could be a good thing - and now I couldn't be happier with my fabulous life as a proud slut.

    The Ethical Slut is an entertaining, readable, real-life explanation of all the options in relationships. Whether you want to be single or partnered or grouped, poly or monogamous, or whatever else, this book helps you figure out all the possibilities better. It's THE relationship book for anyone who wants more options than a "leave-it-to-beaver" relationship.

    If you're just starting to explore open relationships, or you're even just thinking about it, there's no better place to start than with this book. And if you're already immersed in poly life, it's got the "advanced level" information you need. For those who know and love the first edition, the second edition is definitely worth adding to your collection. There's a ton of new information on the really crucial details of how to make all sorts of poly and open relationships work.

    The second edition now has exercises exercises, taken from Dossie Easton's work as a therapist with poly folks, that you and/or your partner(s) can work on together. I loved the new section on living as a single slut - which makes the point that sluthood and open loving can be an identity that doesn't require a conventional partnership to secure or ground it. It also offers ideas on how to get one's needs met from a network of friends and lovers - useful information for pretty much anyone. The new segments on handling jealousy and conflict are especially good for those of us who have been involved in poly relationships for some time and need the more detailed info, from the voices of experience, to help through the rough spots. I feel like I'm always learning in poly relationships, and every time I go back to The Ethical Slut, there's some tidbit that helps with the complicated, hard, or unexpected parts of a generally fabulous poly life.

    Whether you've read the first edition or not, this is definitely a book you should own. I've read it 3 or 4 times now, and I keep going back to it to check out certain sections that become more relevant as I encounter new poly challenges.

    Rather than offering generalities and theories, The Ethical Slut speaks from many people's experience over many decades. It's the real-life information that you need to make all your relationships amazing!!

    I Also Recommend: When Someone You Love Is Kinky, The New Bottoming Book, The New Topping Book, Radical Ecstasy.