The Enabler: When Helping Hurts the Ones You Love by Angelyn Miller
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(Paperback)
- Pub. Date: October 2001
- 120pp
- Sales Rank: 16,153
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Product Details
- Pub. Date: October 2001
- Publisher: Wheatmark
- Format: Paperback, 120pp
- Sales Rank: 16,153
- ISBN-13: 9781587360671
- ISBN: 1587360675
- Edition Number: 3
Synopsis
DO YOU CONFUSE BEING NEEDED WITH BEING LOVED?
DO YOU RELATE TO OTHERS BY TAKING CARE OF THEM?
ARE THOSE CLOSEST TO YOU UNABLE TO STAND ON THEIR OWN TWO FEET?
Co-dependency--of which enabling is a major dynamic--can and does exist in families where there is no active chemical dependency. Author Angelyn Miller's own experience is a dramatic example: the ultimate "super-mom", neither Miller nor her husband drank. Yet in spite of her best efforts, she found her family disintegrating. The more she tried to help, the worse things got, until she discovered that "helping" was the problem.
Using her own family as an example, Miller tells how she came to the painful realization that she was an enabler. The enabler protects others from the consequences of their actions. By always taking responsibility for those around them, enablers hurt the very people they love the most.
Gradually, she learned to alter her behavior and broke the cycle of co-dependence. In this book she offers insights, techniques, and hope, showing how enabling relationships can be transformed into healthy ones.
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