The Commitment: Love, Sex, Marriage, and My Family by Dan Savage

From the Publisher

The true story of a marriage (not really), a lovable and relentless mother, a six-year old who says his parents cannot get married (but wants to go to the reception), a partner who doesn't want to act like a straight person, and the author, who has written a hilarious and poignant memoir about making "The Commitment."

There is no hotter issue than gay marriage in the culture-war debate, and Dan Savage, one of America's most outspoken and beloved columnists, takes it on and makes it personal in this rollicking memoir of coming to terms with the very public act of marriage. What he discovers will make readers--gay or straight, right or left, single or married--howl with laughter as well as rethink their notions of marriage and all that it entails.

Publishers Weekly

The author of the internationally syndicated column "Savage Love" brings much-needed humor, and a reality check, to the bitter gay-marriage debate with this polemical memoir. As Savage (Skipping Towards Gomorrah) and his boyfriend, Terry, neared their 10th anniversary, Savage's mother put on the pressure for them to get married. But, Savage notes, there were several other points to consider before deciding to tie the knot: among them, the fact that marriage doesn't provide legal protection in Washington State; Terry prefers tattoos as a sign of commitment; and their six-year-old son declared that only men and women can get married. Furthermore, Savage himself worried that the relationship would be jinxed by anything more permanent than a big anniversary bash, though the one they plan quickly assumes the proportions and price of a wedding reception. While documenting the couple's wobble toward a decision, Savage skewers ideologues, both pro- and anti-gay marriage, with his radical pragmatism. Disproving Tolstoy's dictum that "happy families are all alike," he takes a sharp-eyed, compassionate look at matrimony as it is actually practiced by friends, his raucously affectionate family and even medieval Christians. When he explains to his son what marriage is really about, you want to stand up and cheer, and the surprise ending is both hilarious and a tear-jerker. As funny as David Sedaris's essay collections, but bawdier and more thought-provoking, this timely book shows that being pro-family doesn't have to mean being anti-gay. (Sept.) Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.

Library Journal

Are Savage and his partner commitment-phobic? Or is contemporary America driving them to premixed margaritas and matching tattoos instead of the altar? An advice columnist ("Savage Love"), newspaper editor, and VH1 commentator, Savage grapples with the meaning of marriage, particularly gay marriage, and delivers a book that is part essay, part family memoir to explore the larger cultural issues as well as his own feelings: "It's hard not to see my grandparents' bride and groom figurines as a metaphor not only for their marriage-fragile something lasting, but with a little touch of fascism about it-but for the whole idea of marriage circa 1939. Back then you got married, and you stayed married." There's plenty of humor here as well, but don't expect David Sedaris or even the bite of Savage's sexual advice columns. Though he may sacrifice some artfulness for earnestness and is at times a little heavy with the cute comments from his precocious six-year-old, Savage is fearless at taking on the politics of gay marriage and is also brave enough, as readers will discover, to commit himself eventually to a significant decision with his significant other.-Laurie Sullivan, MLS, Nashville Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.

Kirkus Reviews

Seattle sex-columnist Savage (The Kid, 1999, etc.) has found the man of his dreams and adopted a baby. According to his mother, he's finally ready to get married. Savage is a surprising combination of bad boy and good son. His public persona-blunt, often rude and always political-has made him a lightning rod in the gay community, and Savage's long-time fans will recognize his signature mix of wit and annoyance. Adapting the format that serves him so well as a columnist, Savage constructs his memoir out of short, loosely related chapters about the avalanche of details that magically appear once his mother begins her campaign for a wedding. To his irritation, he and his boyfriend are inevitably pulled into the matrimony business. Savage is especially amusing when recounting the pre-wedding horrors: a visit to a wedding expo (hypnotizing and repulsive); attempts to book a reception hall at a Chinese restaurant during Chinese New Year (an accident of planning for which he and his boyfriend blame one another); arguments about wedding cakes (they get two at $500 a pop); and half-heartedly planned escape routes (does getting matching tattoos count as a gay commitment?). The book takes on cherished ideas about gay marriage, marriage in general, heterosexuality and the ideal of monogamy. Savage is a master of gleeful ill-will, but even so, some of his screeds are unnecessary-the stories of his forays into the wedding complex illustrate his arguments just as well. The author has a keen eye for the ironies of modern couplehood, and he doesn't mind airing his own dirty laundry if it will get him a laugh and some political capital, but the real stars of this book are the extended Savage family, andhis boyfriend. They are clearly the reason Savage is such a well-adjusted malcontent. Energetically ambivalent memoir of a gay wedding as a family milestone. Despite his arguments to the contrary, Savage takes a resigned pleasure making an honest family man of himself.

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