Table of Contents
| 1 | Departures | 3 |
| 2 | Governing religion | 19 |
| 3 | In training, and ghosts of the self | 39 |
| 4 | Praying and shopping | 67 |
| 5 | Dead ends | 94 |
| 6 | Denying the self to the self, or the road to Mecca | 119 |
| 7 | Untitled | 142 |
| 8 | The unwelcome archive | 167 |
| 9 | Resurrection before death | 190 |
| 10 | Memory of finitude | 221 |
| 11 | Memory of violence | 240 |
| 12 | Epilogues | 263 |
Read an Excerpt
Excerpted from A Season in Mecca by Abdellah Hammoudi. Copyright © 2005 by Éditions du Seuil Translation copyright 2006 by Farrar, Straus and Giroux, LLC. Published January 2006 by Hill and Wang, a division of Farrar, Straus and Giroux, LLC. All rights reserved.
1
DEPARTURES
my departure for islam’s holy sites was no easy matter. There were the time-consuming travel preparations, and then long weeks spent going through the procedures required for the pilgrimage—complicated further by my being a resident of both the United States and Morocco.
But this was the common lot of every pilgrim who in the same circumstances chose to undertake the trip to Mecca that spring of the year 1419 of the Hegira—that is, 1999. What took me by surprise was that a malaise engulfed me, and I couldn’t tell whether it would intensify or disappear. It turned out to be lasting, so coloring my life that it became my future.
As the date approached that the Muslim calendar fixed for the departure, I felt not that I was moving toward it but that it was advancing, coming to meet me, catching up with me. This surely was the cause of my malaise. I was floating, tossed and turned by contradictions. Who exactly was this man setting off like this, whose life and activities had for decades found their meaning elsewhere? For me, the hajj had long ceased to signal salvation or a successful life. It was of course one of the famous five pillars of Islam—along with the profession of faith, prayer, fasting, and charity—established after the initial revelation, when the Prophet called for the teachings ofIbrahim (Abraham) to be restored, when as Muslim tradition has it, eternal Islam was rediscovered after the long period of decadence of pre-Islamic times. I had professed my faith, prayed, and fasted. I regularly gave to charity, and now I was about to go on pilgrimage. But all this was going on in a time frame that was not exactly mine anymore; it belonged, rather, to my identifying traditions, “beliefs and practices” attributed to the society I came from, which were objects of anthropological discourse—mine and other people’s.
It was in this mindset that I had begun to plan this project the year before. I had wanted to approach it as I had the subject of sacrifice in my earlier work—by reporting on every last detail of what was said and done. I hoped that in this first stage I would come to understand the meanings that pilgrims gave to their actions and to the sequence in which they would accomplish them. I wanted to understand the relation between each action and those preceding and following it. And I expected this first part of my work, yielding new theoretical perspectives illuminated by what pilgrims said about their experiences, to transcend mere description. I thought I could thereby understand religion through one of its concrete forms, and understand those who practice it today. From experience, I knew it would be with my difference that I would achieve this “first description.” As in my previous work on sacrifice and on masquerade, on rites of power and ritual power, my task would be to imagine Muslim religious life in the future tense, a religion in process whose traces I would follow in the past and present. And once again I knew my research would be very different from that of anthropologists who come to the study of Muslim tradition by other paths.
Still, as I made these plans, I had not foreseen the feelings that now I could no longer elude, for the more imminent and real my departure became, the more it seemed to authorize, even free up, certain words; I began to express my unease and anxiety in inadequate formulas that left much unsaid; but despite my regularly reminding myself and those around me of my worries, the reason for my malaise and for its persistence remained hidden, unknown. My diary from 1999 echoes this:
All four of us came back [from Morocco] to Princeton: Miriam [my wife], Jazia [our daughter], Ismail [our son], and I, on 5 January. My plan was to spend a few weeks with the family, to reassure everyone before returning to Morocco. We talk and talk about my hajj with our friends. Many allusions to it, many jokes as well: “You’ll be a grand haj,” says Chahnaz, the Turkish Muslim wife of an American friend who is an eminent specialist in international relations and an activist for Third World nations’ political and cultural rights. The closer the departure, the more specific the questions.
Am I being completely straightforward with my friends [in Morocco] Lahcen and Fadma? They know I write books about my experiences and in fact don’t ask questions. They surely understand that I have no intention of subverting the hajj or lying about what I’m doing. But I am not a believer like the others. I am approaching the hajj as I would a ritual from another religion. I am not contemptuous of religions; I believe that under certain conditions they allow for the expression of major existential dilemmas and encourage reconciliation on a grand scale. As with art, it’s not so much about belief as about creating a palpable form (visual, audible, tangible) that reveals the future, creating by repetition (prayer, invocation, ritual) an image of self: first in outline, then more precisely, then coming into full bloom, as in a painting, an icon that exists only to fade away when another, more fully realized one takes its place.
I don’t know if this way of seeing things will allow me to be in communion with the masses of pilgrims, or with Lahcen and Fadma, although it surely connects me with the forms of absorption in piety that one can see on faces and bodies, hear in words…Anyway, what does communion with the faithful mean? Is there any proof that communion implies identical experiences and expectations?
I have to acknowledge that the motive for my venture isn’t salvation, and perhaps this puts me out of line with most of the pilgrims. On the other hand, my project is indeed one of initiation. I’ve taken risks to become who I am today, and this trip could change me, introduce me to an even harder life, a more difficult drama. So the malaise I feel as the hajj approaches, my own hajj, is not going to dissipate. Maybe that’s the main topic of this journey to the end of the night.
Read a Sample Chapter
Excerpted from
A Season in Mecca by Abdellah Hammoudi. Copyright © 2005 by Éditions du Seuil Translation copyright 2006 by Farrar, Straus and Giroux, LLC. Published January 2006 by Hill and Wang, a division of Farrar, Straus and Giroux, LLC. All rights reserved.
1DEPARTURESmy departure for islam's holy sites was no easy matter. There were the time-consuming travel preparations, and then long weeks spent going through the procedures required for the pilgrimagecomplicated further by my being a resident of both the United States and Morocco.
But this was the common lot of every pilgrim who in the same circumstances chose to undertake the trip to Mecca that spring of the year 1419 of the Hegirathat is, 1999. What took me by surprise was that a malaise engulfed me, and I couldn't tell whether it would intensify or disappear. It turned out to be lasting, so coloring my life that it became my future.
As the date approached that the Muslim calendar fixed for the departure, I felt not that I was moving toward it but that it was advancing, coming to meet me, catching up with me. This surely was the cause of my malaise. I was floating, tossed and turned by contradictions. Who exactly was this man setting off like this, whose life and activities had for decades found their meaning elsewhere? For me, the hajj had long ceased to signal salvation or a successful life. It was of course one of the famous five pillars of Islamalong with the profession of faith, prayer, fasting, and charityestablished after the initial revelation, when the Prophet called for the teachings of Ibrahim (Abraham) to berestored, when as Muslim tradition has it, eternal Islam was rediscovered after the long period of decadence of pre-Islamic times. I had professed my faith, prayed, and fasted. I regularly gave to charity, and now I was about to go on pilgrimage. But all this was going on in a time frame that was not exactly mine anymore; it belonged, rather, to my identifying traditions, "beliefs and practices" attributed to the society I came from, which were objects of anthropological discoursemine and other people's.
It was in this mindset that I had begun to plan this project the year before. I had wanted to approach it as I had the subject of sacrifice in my earlier workby reporting on every last detail of what was said and done. I hoped that in this first stage I would come to understand the meanings that pilgrims gave to their actions and to the sequence in which they would accomplish them. I wanted to understand the relation between each action and those preceding and following it. And I expected this first part of my work, yielding new theoretical perspectives illuminated by what pilgrims said about their experiences, to transcend mere description. I thought I could thereby understand religion through one of its concrete forms, and understand those who practice it today. From experience, I knew it would be with my difference that I would achieve this "first description." As in my previous work on sacrifice and on masquerade, on rites of power and ritual power, my task would be to imagine Muslim religious life in the future tense, a religion in process whose traces I would follow in the past and present. And once again I knew my research would be very different from that of anthropologists who come to the study of Muslim tradition by other paths.
Still, as I made these plans, I had not foreseen the feelings that now I could no longer elude, for the more imminent and real my departure became, the more it seemed to authorize, even free up, certain words; I began to express my unease and anxiety in inadequate formulas that left much unsaid; but despite my regularly reminding myself and those around me of my worries, the reason for my malaise and for its persistence remained hidden, unknown. My diary from 1999 echoes this:
All four of us came back [from Morocco] to Princeton: Miriam [my wife], Jazia [our daughter], Ismail [our son], and I, on 5 January. My plan was to spend a few weeks with the family, to reassure everyone before returning to Morocco. We talk and talk about my hajj with our friends. Many allusions to it, many jokes as well: "You'll be a grand haj," says Chahnaz, the Turkish Muslim wife of an American friend who is an eminent specialist in international relations and an activist for Third World nations' political and cultural rights. The closer the departure, the more specific the questions.
Am I being completely straightforward with my friends [in Morocco] Lahcen and Fadma? They know I write books about my experiences and in fact don't ask questions. They surely understand that I have no intention of subverting the hajj or lying about what I'm doing. But I am not a believer like the others. I am approaching the hajj as I would a ritual from another religion. I am not contemptuous of religions; I believe that under certain conditions they allow for the expression of major existential dilemmas and encourage reconciliation on a grand scale. As with art, it's not so much about belief as about creating a palpable form (visual, audible, tangible) that reveals the future, creating by repetition (prayer, invocation, ritual) an image of self: first in outline, then more precisely, then coming into full bloom, as in a painting, an icon that exists only to fade away when another, more fully realized one takes its place.
I don't know if this way of seeing things will allow me to be in communion with the masses of pilgrims, or with Lahcen and Fadma, although it surely connects me with the forms of absorption in piety that one can see on faces and bodies, hear in words…Anyway, what does communion with the faithful mean? Is there any proof that communion implies identical experiences and expectations?I have to acknowledge that the motive for my venture isn't salvation, and perhaps this puts me out of line with most of the pilgrims. On the other hand, my project is indeed one of initiation. I've taken risks to become who I am today, and this trip could change me, introduce me to an even harder life, a more difficult drama. So the malaise I feel as the hajj approaches, my own hajj, is not going to dissipate. Maybe that's the main topic of this journey to the end of the night.