Once Was Lost by Sara Zarr

From the Publisher

As a pastor's kid, it's hard not to buy into the idea of the perfect family, a loving God, and amazing grace. But lately, Sam has a lot of reasons to doubt. Her mother lands in rehab after a DUI, and her father seems more interested in his congregation than his family. When a young girl in her small town goes missing, the local tragedy overlaps with Sam's personal one, and the already worn thread of faith holding her together begins to unravel.
           
In her third novel, acclaimed author Sara Zarr examines the coexistence of affliction and hope, and what happens when everything you thought you believed—about God, your family, and yourself—is transformed.

Publishers Weekly

Faith takes a front seat in National Book Award–finalist Zarr's (Story of a Girl) hard-hitting third novel. When 13-year-old Jody Shaw is kidnapped in broad daylight, her abduction rocks the once secure town of Pineview and her church community (“A thing like this changes the way you think about everything and everyone, and you can never go back”). Her disappearance provides an eerie backdrop to protagonist Samara Taylor's personal drama: her mother's alcoholism, which prompted a four-week stint in rehab, and her father's refusal to focus on anything (his marital problems, the inappropriateness of his relationship with a 26-year-old church member, his parental responsibilities) other than his role as pastor to a flock in need. Sam's questions regarding God's existence (“Do you just decide that you do believe, no matter what, and then force your mind shut when doubts try to come in?”) and her place in the world feel all-encompassing, aptly mirroring the mood of her close-knit community as they trawl for answers in Jody's case. Beyond delivering a gripping story, Zarr has a knack for exposing human weakness in the ordinary. Ages 12–up. (Oct.)

School Library Journal

Gr 7–10—For 15-year-old Sam, a pastor's daughter, believing in God was natural until, somehow, a few years back doubt crept in. If God is all good and all powerful, why isn't He fixing anything? Sam's mother's alcoholism resulted in a DUI and landed her in rehab; her father is gone all the time dealing with other people's problems, and he doesn't seem to know how to communicate with his wife and daughter even when he is home. Things ratchet up even further when a local girl is abducted from their sleepy Northern California town, a crisis that drives much of the plot. Then, unexpectedly, Sam experiences a moment when she truly connects with God. Bit by bit, the areas of brokenness begin to move toward healing, although perfection is still a long way off. Sam is a complex and fully formed character whose insight into her own behavior fluctuates in a wholly believable teenage way. Her shy exterior is offset by a sardonic voice, reflecting, for example, on the fact that her alcoholic mother is a better parent than her pastor father. In the background is a beautifully developed metaphor for Sam's life as she tries to find ways to take charge of her backyard, where even drought-resistant plants have succumbed to a massive heat wave. This multilayered exploration of the intersection of the spiritual life and imperfect people features suspense and packs an emotional wallop.—Faith Brautigam, Gail Borden Public Library, Elgin, IL

Kirkus Reviews

The abduction of 13-year-old Jody Shaw has absolutely devastated the small, close-knit community of Pineview, Calif. Though the Shaw tragedy has affected everyone, readers see it through the eyes of 15-year-old Samara Taylor, whose father is the Shaws' pastor and spokesperson. Even before Jody goes missing, Sam is floundering-her mother has spent the last few weeks at a facility being treated for alcoholism, and her father is having trouble coping. When Jody disappears, Sam's faith in God and in both of her parents is further challenged. Her new friendship with Nick Shaw, Jody's older brother and a potential suspect in Jody's disappearance, could either lead to her salvation or destruction. Which will it be? And what becomes of Jody? Bold-faced newscasts periodically interrupt the narrative, providing updates on the Shaw case and maintaining a sustained sense of urgency. This rare combination of in-depth character study and gripping mystery relies on a strong sense of emotional truth to do justice to some tough subject matter without graphic or violent scenes. Riveting. (Mystery. YA)

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