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Early on the morning of August 19, 1946, I was born under a clear sky
after a violent summer storm to a widowed mother in the Julia Chester
Hospital in Hope, a town of about six thousand in southwest Arkansas,
thirty-three miles east of the Texas border at Texarkana. My mother named
me William Jefferson Blythe III after my father, William Jefferson Blythe
Jr., one of nine children of a poor farmer in Sherman, Texas, who died
when my father was seventeen. According to his sisters, my father always
tried to take care of them, and he grew up to be a handsome, hardworking,
fun-loving man. He met my mother at Tri- State Hospital in Shreveport,
Louisiana, in 1943, when she was training to be a nurse. Many times when
I was growing up, I asked Mother to tell me the story of their meeting,
courting, and marriage. He brought a date with some kind of medical
emergency into the ward where she was working, and they talked and
flirted while the other woman was being treated. On his way out of the
hospital, he touched the finger on which she was wearing her boyfriend's
ring and asked her if she was married. She stammered "no"-she was single.
The next day he sent the other woman flowers and her heart sank. Then he
called Mother for a date, explaining that he always sent flowers when he
ended a relationship.
Two months later, they were married and he was off to war. He served
in a motor pool in the invasion of Italy, repairing jeeps and tanks.
After the war, he returned to Hope for Mother and they moved to
Chicago, where he got back his old job as a salesman for the Manbee
Equipment Company. They bought a little house in the suburb of Forest
Park but couldn't move in for a couple of months, and since Mother was
pregnant with me, they decided she should go home to Hope until they
could get into the new house. On May 17, 1946, after moving their
furniture into their new home, my father was driving from Chicago to
Hope to fetch his wife. Late at night on Highway 60 outside of
Sikeston, Missouri, he lost control of his car, a 1942 Buick, when the
right front tire blew out on a wet road. He was thrown clear of the
car but landed in, or crawled into, a drainage ditch dug to reclaim
swampland. The ditch held three feet of water. When he was found,
after a two-hour search, his hand was grasping a branch above the
waterline. He had tried but failed to pull himself out. He drowned,
only twenty-eight years old, married two years and eight months, only
seven months of which he had spent with Mother.
That brief sketch is about all I ever really knew about my father.
All my life I have been hungry to fill in the blanks, clinging eagerly
to every photo or story or scrap of paper that would tell me more of
the man who gave me life.
When I was about twelve, sitting on my uncle Buddy's porch in Hope, a
man walked up the steps, looked at me, and said, "You're Bill Blythe's
son. You look just like him." I beamed for days.
In 1974, I was running for Congress. It was my first race and the
local paper did a feature story on my mother. She was at her regular
coffee shop early in the morning discussing the article with a lawyer
friend when one of the breakfast regulars she knew only casually came
up to her and said, "I was there, I was the first one at the wreck
that night." He then told Mother what he had seen, including the fact
that my father had retained enough consciousness or survival instinct
to try to claw himself up and out of the water before he died. Mother
thanked him, went out to her car and cried, then dried her tears and
went to work.
In 1993, on Father's Day, my first as President, the Washington Post
ran a long investigative story on my father, which was followed over
the next two months by other investigative pieces by the Associated
Press and many smaller papers. The stories confirmed the things my
mother and I knew. They also turned up a lot we didn't know, including
the fact that my father had probably been married three times before
he met Mother, and apparently had at least two more children.
My father's other son was identified as Leon Ritzenthaler, a retired
owner of a janitorial service, from northern California. In the
article, he said he had written me during the '92 campaign but had
received no reply. I don't remember hearing about his letter, and
considering all the other bullets we were dodging then, it's possible
that my staff kept it from me. Or maybe the letter was just misplaced
in the mountains of mail we were receiving. Anyway, when I read about
Leon, I got in touch with him and later met him and his wife, Judy,
during one of my stops in northern California. We had a happy visit
and since then we've corresponded in holiday seasons. He and I look
alike, his birth certificate says his father was mine, and I wish I'd
known about him a long time ago.
Somewhere around this time, I also received information confirming
news stories about a daughter, Sharon Pettijohn, born Sharon Lee
Blythe in Kansas City in 1941, to a woman my father later divorced.
She sent copies of her birth certificate, her parents' marriage
license, a photo of my father, and a letter to her mother from my
father asking about "our baby" to Betsey Wright, my former chief of
staff in the governor's office. I'm sorry to say that, for whatever
reason, I've never met her.
This news breaking in 1993 came as a shock to Mother, who by then had
been battling cancer for some time, but she took it all in stride. She
said young people did a lot of things during the Depression and the
war that people in another time might disapprove of. What mattered was
that my father was the love of her life and she had no doubt of his
love for her. Whatever the facts, that's all she needed to know as her
own life moved toward its end. As for me, I wasn't quite sure what to
make of it all, but given the life I've led, I could hardly be
surprised that my father was more complicated than the idealized
pictures I had lived with for nearly half a century.
In 1994, as we headed for the celebration of the fiftieth anniversary
of D-day, several newspapers published a story on my father's war
record, with a snapshot of him in uniform. Shortly afterward, I
received a letter from Umberto Baron of Netcong, New Jersey,
recounting his own experiences during the war and after. He said that
he was a young boy in Italy when the Americans arrived, and that he
loved to go to their camp, where one soldier in particular befriended
him, giving him candy and showing him how engines worked and how to
repair them. He knew him only as Bill. After the war, Baron came to
the United States, and, inspired by what he had learned from the
soldier who called him "Little GI Joe," he opened his own garage and
started a family. He told me he had lived the American dream, with a
thriving business and three children. He said he owed so much of his
success in life to that young soldier, but hadn't had the opportunity
to say good-bye then, and had often wondered what had happened to him.
Then, he said, "On Memorial Day of this year, I was thumbing through a
copy of the New York Daily News with my morning coffee when suddenly I
felt as if I was struck by lightning. There in the lower left-hand
corner of the paper was a photo of Bill. I felt chills to learn that
Bill was none other than the father of the President of the United
States."
In 1996, the children of one of my father's sisters came for the
first time to our annual family Christmas party at the White House and
brought me a gift: the condolence letter my aunt had received from her
congressman, the great Sam Rayburn, after my father died. It's just a
short form letter and appears to have been signed with the autopen of
the day, but I hugged that letter with all the glee of a six-year-old
boy getting his first train set from Santa Claus. I hung it in my
private office on the second floor of the White House, and looked at
it every night.
Shortly after I left the White House, I was boarding the USAir
shuttle in Washington for New York when an airline employee stopped me
to say that his stepfather had just told him he had served in the war
with my father and had liked him very much. I asked for the old vet's
phone number and address, and the man said he didn't have it but would
get it to me. I'm still waiting, hoping there will be one more human
connection to my father.
At the end of my presidency, I picked a few special places to say
goodbye and thanks to the American people. One of them was Chicago,
where Hillary was born; where I all but clinched the Democratic
nomination on St. Patrick's Day 1992; where many of my most ardent
supporters live and many of my most important domestic initiatives in
crime, welfare, and education were proved effective; and, of course,
where my parents went to live after the war. I used to joke with
Hillary that if my father hadn't lost his life on that rainy Missouri
highway, I would have grown up a few miles from her and we probably
never would have met. My last event was in the Palmer House Hotel,
scene of the only photo I have of my parents together, taken just
before Mother came back to Hope in 1946. After the speech and the
good-byes, I went into a small room where I met a woman, Mary Etta
Rees, and her two daughters. She told me she had grown up and gone to
high school with my mother, then had gone north to Indiana to work in
a war industry, married, stayed, and raised her children. Then she
gave me another precious gift: the letter my twenty-three-year-old
mother had written on her birthday to her friend, three weeks after my
father's death, more than fifty-four years earlier. It was vintage
Mother. In her beautiful hand, she wrote of her heartbreak and her
determination to carry on: "It seemed almost unbelievable at the time
but you see I am six months pregnant and the thought of our baby keeps
me going and really gives me the whole world before me."
My mother left me the wedding ring she gave my father, a few moving
stories, and the sure knowledge that she was loving me for him too.
My father left me with the feeling that I had to live for two people,
and that if I did it well enough, somehow I could make up for the life
he should have had. And his memory infused me, at a younger age than
most, with a sense of my own mortality. The knowledge that I, too,
could die young drove me both to try to drain the most out of every
moment of life and to get on with the next big challenge. Even when I
wasn't sure where I was going, I was always in a hurry.
Excerpted from My Life by Bill Clinton. Copyright
© 2004 by Bill Clinton. Excerpted by permission of Knopf, a
division of Random House, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this
excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing
from the publisher.