Interviews & Essays
A Conversation with Miss Vera
Q:How did you get started working with the transgender community?
A:Trannies have long been part of my career. In my days as a porn star, I learned the proper technique to fasten my garters from a 6'2" transvestite named Rebecca H. Heels. As a sex journalist, I visited bars and peep shows to interview the trannies, then called "pre-ops," and I wrote about the tranny houses later made famous in the film "Paris Is Burning". I also met transgendered persons in my travels around the world. At one point, it seemed that every man I dated wanted to get into my drawers. Yes, I've done my homework!
Q:What prompted you to write MISS VERA’S CROSS-DRESS FOR SUCCESS?
A:I wrote this resource guide to call attention to the transgender movement that is changing the face and figure of man and womankind. I wanted to encourage what we think of as feminine ideals, in particular, pleasure and tolerance. And, I love to write -- especially about sex and shopping.
Q: What do you hope the book does for the cross-dressing community?
A:I hope MISS VERA’S CROSS-DRESS FOR SUCCESS connects my readers to their personal pleasure and political power and helps make the world a prettier place.
Q: What are some common misconceptions about cross-dressers?
A:It is a mistake for observers to think that all male to female cross-dressers are gay or want to have sex with other men. Some do, but human sexuality is much more complicated than that. For some people, the act of cross-dressing is primarily about gender identity not sexual orientation. There aretrannies who would love to be cross-dressed and have sex with their wives, trannies who would love to experience penetration, but only from women, trannies whose sexuality resides in the act of dressing, not from the sex act itself and trannies who want to have sex with other trannies.
Also, though there is often a sexual, or, at least sensual, element to cross-dressing, acting on the assumption that anyone who cross-dresses is fair game for uninvited advances is sexual harassment.
Q:Do you think as a society, we are becoming more accepting of those who choose alternate lifestyles?
A:Communication about alternative lifestyles has improved tremendously, so the fear inspired by ignorance has lessened and as society becomes less frightened, we are more tolerant and more open to adventure. Two things that have had a big influence on this improvement in communication are, of course, the Internet and, ironically, the plague of AIDS which made sex education and thus communication essential to survival. We are growing up.
Q:Why do you think so many men explore cross-dressing?
A:Because it feels good. Most men suffer from Venus envy. When women felt the need for balance, to expand our horizons and share more in the power of men, we created the women's movement. Men, too, have this need for balance, to share more in what they view as the most enviable aspects of the female experience: to be pampered and protected, to be desirable sex objects, to be of service (yes, even to do housework) many of the things that we women have put down in recent years as too confining. Cross-dressers are more fortunate than most because their affinity for female clothing gives them access to these feelings. For every woman who burned her bra, there is a man ready to wear one.
Q:How did your academy "Miss Vera's Finishing School for Boys Who Want to Be Girls" get started?
A:The school began simply as a way to keep me in pantyhose while I wrote a memoir that used my own adventures to illustrate how we can and have grown as individuals and as a society through the process of sexual evolution. What I learned in my research inspired me to create a school that touched on every cross-dresser’s dream and has since captured the public's imagination. I began with one student, a 38 year old criminal attorney, who saw his femmeself as a 21 year old "airhead" named Sally Sissyribbons. The rest is herstory...
Q: Describe the classes you offer at the academy.
A:We offer a wide variety of classes: make-up application, how to walk in high heels, voice class, ballet, sex education, etiquette, home economics, maid training and more. We take our girls on field trips all over the city. Students can spend a few hours with us or a few days. With the help of our faculty of glamorous and expert deans my goal is to help the student express his femmeself, and be a happier, healthier human being no matter what his fashion statement.
Q:What kinds of men take your classes? Do they fit a common perception of what a cross-dresser is like?
A:There is no tranny composite. Students of the academy come from all walks of life, all economic levels and degrees of intelligence, all colors, shapes and sizes. They bring with them different endowments: small, medium and XXX. There are two common denominators: they have an affinity for female clothing and they are all proud of their legs.
Q:What do you want people to know about cross-dressers?
A:Trannies are all over and they are shaking up the status quo!
Read an Excerpt
CHAPTER 1Faculty TeaDear Student, an invitation is extended to you to attend a tea party reception with the academy deans. This will be your opportunity to meet the teachers with whom you will study as you proceed on your journey to cross-dress for success.
We are all seated at a lovely, big, round table. It makes it so much easier to share a conversation. Miss Viqui and Miss Melissa are in charge of the tea service; these are our two etiquette experts. Miss Viqui is the voice you hear when you telephone the academy. And it is a lovely voice that she has, calm and reassuring and very polite, which is what she expects you to be. She sets the tone for your visit. We all understand that you are nervous (I prefer to think of it as excited). Miss Melissa, in her signature pillbox and early nineties Versace suit, takes a moment to compliment you on your outfit. Miss Deborah, our fashion maven and academy dean of cosmetology, has helped you pick out a pink suit with a peplum that gives you just a bit more flounce around the buttocks. Miss Deborah and I both love our pink suits. Hers is suede by Rena Lange and mine is Chanel and is festooned with gilt threads and gold trim. In fact, each of the deans is dressed in an outfit by her favorite designer (oh, it's so hard to pick, isn't it?). Miss Viqui is in a piece she saved from Willi Smith. Miss Barbara Carrellas and Miss Kate Bornstein, our "too tall blondes," are sizing you up and smiling. They can't wait to whisk you away to play. Miss Barbara is our dean of femmenergy and Miss Kate, our dean of hearts. Neither one believes in labels, except on their outfits. Miss Barbara will help you experienceyourself as pure energy. She's a dynamo in her swinging bell-bottoms by Norma Kamali. Miss Kate was born a man and became a woman, but when that didn't fit, she decided to be neither, so she's a "gender outlaw," a term that sounds familiar because that is the title of one of her books, and it is in your pink-plaid book bag. She's a Betsey Johnson fan 100 percent.
Uh-oh, Miss Melissa, devil that she is, has asked you to pour Miss Eva a cup of tea. Oooh, I know it's quite a challenge, particularly since Miss Eva, our dean of seductive arts, has leveled her provocative gaze on you. I hope you've been paying attention to the pouring process. Miss Topaz, our dean of nightlife and newest dean, takes pity on you and whispers a reminder to use the tea strainer. Place it over the cup before you pour the tea from the pot. Your poor hands are shaking, and we can hear the clink as the lid rattles on the pot. Whew, success. You thank Miss Topaz. Miss Topaz, our East Village fashion innovator, combines slutty and classy in a wardrobe from Religious Sex, Trash and Vaudeville, and Daffy's ("Bargains for Millionaires"). She says she's a drag queen trapped in a woman's body, so she fits into our faculty perfectly.
"Is this your first visit to New York?" That's Miss Judy, our dean of voice. She's always full of questions. Miss Judy is an accredited speech therapist. Before her involvement with the academy, she had the least experience with our kind of girl, and she is totally fascinated and dedicated to helping you in your quest to sound more feminine. Putting voice to your emotions is so important. So she asks a lot of questions to hear what you have to say, to listen to the way you say it, and to give you instructions.
Miss Mariette Pathy Allen asks if you've ever seen yourself so totally transformed. For many of your sorority sisters who visit, this is the very first time they have been done up with such expertise. Miss Mariette will record this moment with her camera. She will be thrilled to lead you to what she calls "the dance of self-acceptance and self-creation" and to help you realize you are a three-dimensional person who can present herself in many ways. Miss Mariette likes to present herself in vintage Halston. For creating your portrait, she'd wear a pink-and-white vertically striped dress with pink buttons, pink belt, and shoulder pads. You, my dear, could wear several outfits, from baby to bride or beyond. Maybe you would find yourself in Miss Mariette's next book. Her first one, Transformations: Crossdressers and Those Who Love Them, is a classic. We've put it on your night table for bedtime reading.
The two deans who are having a bit of a private chat are Miss Tiger and Miss Maryanne Byington, our two movement deans. "I'd like to offer a suggestion, even at this early stage," says Miss Tiger. "I think our student needs to sit up a bit straighter. Your shoulders need to be back and down, my dear."
"Yes, tits up," Miss Eva, Miss Melissa, and I chant in unison.
"We'll work on that in ballet class," says Miss Tiger. "And just wait till you see the new outfits I've designed for our ballet students." We're all ears as Miss Tiger describes a "spandex jumpsuit, belted-that comes with a loose raglan-sleeve jacket that could also be a minidress, pants top, or robe-plus a knee-length chiffon wrap skirt that is worn over the jumpsuit when in class, and a Velcro head wrap. There is a simple version and a glitter version à la Cher in Bob Mackie."
"Oooh, very versatile," says Miss Viqui. "I like that." Miss Viqui, who is a mom with a five-year-old, likes to make the most of each minute. She is my deputy dean and helps me organize your schedule.
"No tutu?" asks Miss Melissa, attentive to ballet protocol.
"Of course, there is always the classic black leotard and pink tutu," says Miss Tiger, "but only if she is very, very good."
"Well, I'll put her in chiffon and feathers and rhinestone-trimmed high-heeled dancing slippers as I teach her to move backward across the floor in the arms of her dream partner," adds Miss Maryanne.
Your eyes light up as if you've just seen your first Barbie under your Christmas tree.
"Do you enjoy wearing high heels?" asks Miss Maryanne, half in jest. We all know the answer to that one. Miss Maryanne Byington has brought home trophies from many ballroom competitions. Her focus now is on teaching, and her goal is to help you to walk with confidence and grace. She says, "Sometimes the technique of rumba will create just the right walk for the right situation." Miss Maryanne loves to dance and dress in Oscar de la Renta's most colorful Latin-influenced festive party gowns.
"I'd like to know whom our student has picked as her role models," says Miss Eva. Miss Eva is quite formidable in Vivienne Westwood. Every question from her sounds like a sexy challenge.
Every academy student is asked to choose some female role models to help her as she strives toward womanhood. That is why our motto is "Cherchez la femme." You seem to be a bit stumped. Well, I'll give you a little time to think about your answer. To help you along, the deans and I will share some of our role models. You can look them up to find out more about each one.
Miss Viqui says, "Shirley Temple Black, for her ability to get absolutely everything out of her childhood and then become an adult who was able to give back to other children."
Miss Mariette says, "I pick Gloria Steinem and certainly Margaret Mead. Mead was bisexual and a multitasker. She was a courageous explorer of gentler roles.
"I admire Mary Kay Ash," says Miss Deborah. "She believed in women and pink Cadillacs."
Miss Kate offers, "Audrey Hepburn and Morticia Addams."
"Oh, yes, Audrey Hepburn for me too," chimes Miss Tiger, "and Shirley MacLaine and of course the great ballerinas Margot Fonteyn, Alicia Alonso, and Cynthia Gregory. Also my eighty-nine-year-old mother, Margaret Farkas, the very most of all. Even with dementia and Parkinson's, she hasn't forgotten her manners and is as good-natured as ever."
"Here, here," and we clink our spoons to our teacups in honor of Margaret and all our moms.
"Well, I like Anne Francis," says Miss Barbara, "particularly during her stint as the adventure heroine Honey West."
"Hmm, I've always loved Emma Peel in that sense," I say, "but for a real woman, Victoria Woodhull, who had her own newspaper and was the first female candidate for president."
"And so far the only one," adds Miss Eva.
"Wait, I have one more. I'm not going to forget Jocelyn Elders, who told the country it's just fine to masturbate."
"Along that same line, I vote for Drs. Betty Dodson and Annie Sprinkle, our school sexologist," says thoroughly-up-to-date Miss Topaz.
Miss Eva, the activist, is back with "Emma Goldman." Miss Eva has contributed to various anthologies on sexual politics.
And activist Miss Melissa says, "Bella Abzug and all her hats and Judith Martin-Miss Manners-oh, and maybe Xena, Warrior Princess, for those difficult days." We all nod at that one.
"Well," says Miss Eva, "time to answer my question."
You wrinkle your little brow, your eyes light up, you straighten up in your chair, and you sing out, "My role model is Miss Vera."
Yes, that's what all you girls say. And I happen to think it's a very good answer. We're off to an excellent start.
Here, have a scone with marmalade and clotted cream.
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