Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love by Diana Kirschner

From Barnes & Noble

If you even pick up this book, you know that it's high time that you found Mr. Right, but how do you find him amid the lurking hoards of Mr. Wrongs? Dr. Diana Kirschner thinks that regardless of your previous track record, the problem is solved with careful planning and meticulous, rational follow-through. In Love in 90 Days, she shepherds would-be life partners through the rigors of finding a true beau. A sensible, pragmatic approach to a millennia-old problem.

From the Publisher

Finding true love is possible in just 90 days. Renowned clinical psychologist, Dr. Diana Kirschner, uses the latest research, clinical and personal experience to show you how. Dr. Diana knows the questions single women everywhere face: "Why am I attracted to the wrong kind of guys?""Why is he just not that into me?""Why can't I seem to find the One?" She also knows the unconscious mistakes that women make over and over again in love-regardless of age, work success, or the type of men they are dating.

Over the years Dr. Diana has received countless inquiries from single women about writing a how-to guide on her work. Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love is that book.


Love in 90 Days is fun, savvy and based on the latest research on singles, online dating and healthy relationships. Loaded with step-by-step instructions, checklists, and weekly homework assignments, this revolutionary love book is also an intensely personal journey for each reader. Love in 90 Days guides you along your own path towards self discovery with proven and effective dating advice and tough love. Dr. Diana dispels common misconceptions about love relationships and dating, and share personal stories from women who have successfully completed the Love in 90 Days Program. There's also a chapter devoted to the special issues faced by African-American women, single mothers, and women forty-five and older.

Reviews of Love in 90 Days

"Are you just thinking about getting back into dating? Or is your current dating strategy getting you nowhere? Maybe you're with a guy now and wondering if he's "The One?" Or areyou in a relationship now that you know deep inside is failing? No matter what is happening in your love life, Love in 90 Days is for you. Grab this book now. It truly rocks!"~Steve Nakamoto, Writers Digest award-winning author of Men are Like Fish; What Every Women Needs to Know about Catching a Man

"A wonderful addition to any single woman's library...I was thrilled with how many times Dr. Diana exceeded my expectations...Chapter Two (the Deadly Dating Patterns is mandatory reading." ~Bonny Albo, Dating Guide at About.com

"The best-selling, how to book, flew off the shelves of bookstores and a copy seems to be on the coffee tables and reference material for many of my friends..."Love in 90 Days" is replete with pages of heart-filled ideas and exercises. Like the song: summertime and the reading is easy. Go for it."

~Page Larkin, Examiner.com

Product Details

• Interviews & Essays

Interviews & Essays

He’s Just Not That Into You, the bestseller-turned-movie starring Jennifer Aniston, debunks the obsessive thoughts single women have about hotties who sweep into and out of their lives. The authors go into excruciating detail about the excuses and stories we make up to justify our fantasies about unavailable men. We waste hours and hours thinking and dishing about how, “He’s on a deadline at work.” “He’s out of the country,” or, my personal favorite, “He’s really in the process of leaving his wife.” The authors point out that none of the stories are the reason he doesn’t call, text, or email. The real reason is: he’s just not that into you.

The point is that a whole lot of time is spent on defensiveness, self-protection and daydreaming. And then, after all that wasted time fantasizing and making excuses, surprise, surprise--the dude finally manages to wriggle free and disappear from our lives. Only then does the truth hit us, and often with a wave of heartbreak and pain. Bottom line: love is no simple walk in the park. Often it is hard to trust our instincts and judgment.

How do you know when to fish or cut bait? Just how do you really tell if he is just not into you? Or as I put it: How do you know how to stop wasting time on a DUD (Definitely Unworkable Dude)? To help you answer these questions, take this simple quiz adapted from my new book, Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love. Give your boyfriend one point for each of these 16 characteristics:

1. Eager to see you
2. Reluctant to leave you
3. Wants regular consistent contact, asks for dates
4. Interested in you and your life
5. Wants to be helpful
6. Is verbally and physically affectionate
7. Wants to be romantic and sexual with you
8. Texts, emails or calls regularly
9. Acts like you are very special; doesn’t really want to date others
10. If you are dating other men--willing to hang in there
11. Becoming more attentive and loving over time
12. Becoming more open to sharing his feelings and thoughts
13. Becoming more open to sharing his living space
14. Becoming more open to sharing his social life with friends and family members.
15. Saying he loves you
16. Saying he wants a future with you

Please be really honest with yourself as you rate your guy. When in doubt, ask your closest friends to help you. If your man has a score of 4 or less, it probably indicates that he is just not that into you. If he gets 5-10 points the dude may have possibilities. Eleven (11) or more means he just may be the One. Look for more of these qualities over time to make a clearer assessment.

If your guy has a low score, you do not need to cut him off right away. A simple way to protect yourself from the “he’s just not into you” deadly dating pattern is to also date two other guys by going on what I call the Dating Program of Three. On this program, you do not have sex with any of the men (kissing and canoodling is OK!) in order to avoid the out-of-control infatuation that comes with getting too physically and emotionally involved too soon. You let your main guy and the others know on the second date that you are dating others and “taking things slow.” A guy who really is into you will stay the course and win you.

Bottom line: if you want to find the One, look for a man who provides regular and consistent contact that gets better over time. You should find yourself continually surprised at how he fills your needs to be chosen, appreciated, romanced and celebrated for who you are. Envision this kind of love, and choose guys who are that into you.. The Love in 90 Days program has the tools to help you make it all happen.

And you deserve it!