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A pioneering neuroscientist reveals the reasons for loneliness and what to do about it.
Eleanor Rigby might have been in worse shape than the Beatles imagined: not only lonely but angry, depressed and in ill health. University of Chicago research psychologist Cacioppo shows in studies that loneliness can be harmful to our overall well-being. Loneliness, he says, impairs the ability to feel trust and affection, and people who lack emotional intimacy are less able to exercise good judgment in socially ambiguous situations; this makes them more vulnerable to bullying as children and exploitation by "unscrupulous salespeople" in old age. But Cacioppo and Patrick (editor of the Journal of Life Sciences) want primarily to apply evolutionary psychology to explain how our brains have become hard-wired to have regular contact with others to aid survival. So intense is the need to connect, say the authors, that isolated individuals sometimes form "parasocial relations" with pets or TV characters. The authorsa' advice for dealing with loneliness-psychotherapy, positive thinking, random acts of kindness-are overly general, but this isna't a self-help book. It does present a solid scientific look at the physical and emotional impact of loneliness. 12 illus. (Aug. 25)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. More Reviews and RecommendationsJohn T. Cacioppo is the Tiffany and Margaret Blake Distinguished Service Professor at the University of Chicago and president of the Association for Psychological Science. He lives in Chicago, Illinois.
William Patrick, former editor for science and medicine at Harvard University Press, is editor in chief of the Journal of Life Sciences. He lives in Ipswich, Massachusetts.
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November 11, 2009: Loving this book and still reading it! So many insights into why I've chosen the paths I've taken. Now, If I could just figure out how to correct my trajectory. I highly recomment this book as required reading for all "loners". It does as it promises and sheds light on why humans must have social connections. Many of the atrocities we see far too often would never have happened if the individuals responsible had not been socially inept.
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September 26, 2009: The first few chapters worried me because the anecdotes seemed overdone and poorly written, but then the writing moved into the authoritative, clean, concise style that lasted the rest of the book, so I enjoyed the writing overall. There is a ton of interesting information, lots of research and studies explained in the book. This isn't a one-night read, some of the information takes a little while to process so don't be surprised if you read some of the paragraphs several times, especially if you're surrounded by distractions. But definitely worth the time it took to get through it.