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Once upon a time, my name was not Alice.
Once upon a time, I didn't know how lucky I was.
When Alice was ten, Ray took her away from her family, her friends -- her life. She learned to give up all power, to endure all pain. She waited for the nightmare to be over.
Now Alice is fifteen and Ray still has her, but he speaks more and more of her death. He does not know it is what she longs for. She does not know he has something more terrifying than death in mind for her.
This is Alice's story. It is one you have never heard, and one you will never, ever forget.
Fans of Scott's YA romances Perfect You or Bloom may be unprepared for the unrelieved terror within this chilling novel, about a 15-year-old girl who has spent the last five years being abused by a kidnapper named Ray and is kept powerless by Ray's promise to harm her family if she makes one false move. The narrator knows she is the second of the girls Ray has abducted and renamed Alice; Ray killed the first when she outgrew her childlike body at 15, and now Alice half-hopes her own demise is approaching ("I think of the knife in the kitchen, of the bridges I've seen from the bus... but the thing about hearts is that they always want to keep beating"). Ray, however, has an even more sinister plan: he orders Alice to find a new girl, then train her to Ray's tastes. Scott's prose is spare and damning, relying on suggestive details and their impact on Alice to convey the unimaginable violence she repeatedly experiences. Disturbing but fascinating, the book exerts an inescapable grip on readers-like Alice, they have virtually no choice but to continue until the conclusion sets them free. Ages 16-up. (Sept.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. More Reviews and RecommendationsElizabeth Scott is the author of Bloom, Perfect You, and Stealing Heaven. Visit her website: www.elizabethwrites.com.
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July 04, 2009: This book was amazing. It's not a happy story. It's far from it. You get to know the character and her reasoning for stuff. You couldn't get mad at the way she handled her abduction because he threatened her family and it also gives a reason why the guy did it, even though he is digusting for still doing it. The book had the saddest ending but im happy it did because it wouldn't have been the same any other way.
Also, for those of you saying it isnt a teen book, it is. Teens go through this everyday even if you do not want to face that fact. This book wasn't a happy love story and that is the great thing about it. It's different in an unforgetable way.Reader Rating:
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June 30, 2009: i found this book by reading one of Elizabeth Scotts books. When i first read this book i thought it was gonna be about a teenage girl imprisoned by her parents. But when i read the back i was captivated. Then when i was done reading the book i was suprised.This is a book about true things and nothing about teenage love or any love for that matter. I give this book two thumbs up and even though it is somewhat disturbing it is an amazing book.
Once upon a time, my name was not Alice.
Once upon a time, I didn't know how lucky I was.
When Alice was ten, Ray took her away from her family, her friends -- her life. She learned to give up all power, to endure all pain. She waited for the nightmare to be over.
Now Alice is fifteen and Ray still has her, but he speaks more and more of her death. He does not know it is what she longs for. She does not know he has something more terrifying than death in mind for her.
This is Alice's story. It is one you have never heard, and one you will never, ever forget.
Fans of Scott's YA romances Perfect You or Bloom may be unprepared for the unrelieved terror within this chilling novel, about a 15-year-old girl who has spent the last five years being abused by a kidnapper named Ray and is kept powerless by Ray's promise to harm her family if she makes one false move. The narrator knows she is the second of the girls Ray has abducted and renamed Alice; Ray killed the first when she outgrew her childlike body at 15, and now Alice half-hopes her own demise is approaching ("I think of the knife in the kitchen, of the bridges I've seen from the bus... but the thing about hearts is that they always want to keep beating"). Ray, however, has an even more sinister plan: he orders Alice to find a new girl, then train her to Ray's tastes. Scott's prose is spare and damning, relying on suggestive details and their impact on Alice to convey the unimaginable violence she repeatedly experiences. Disturbing but fascinating, the book exerts an inescapable grip on readers-like Alice, they have virtually no choice but to continue until the conclusion sets them free. Ages 16-up. (Sept.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.Alice, whose real name and childhood have been stolen by her kidnapper, lives a bleak life of abuse and despair. Taken by Ray at the age of ten, she has endured five years of vicious beatings and equally vicious sexual invasions interspersed with his assurances of how much he loves her. Alice tells us her story in a voice that discloses her acceptance that there is no way out for her but the death she both longs for and fears. Ray thwarted her early escape efforts by warning her that if she runs away he will go to her home and kill her parents. He also lets her know that he killed the "Alice" before her when she grew too tall and womanly to appeal to him. To keep Alice a child as long as he can, he keeps her on a starvation diet, regularly sends her to have her pubic hair waxed, and gives her pills to prevent menstruation. But Alice is growing in spite of all his efforts and now Ray orders her to find him a replacement, though he says he will keep her alive so she can help him subdue the new girl. At first, Alice goes about her taskto find a suitable young girl in a local parkwith the hope that his attentions to the new child will stop his abuse of her. But when the time comes to divert Lucy's older brother Jake so that Ray can take the child, she cannot follow through. She yells at Lucy to run. Ray grabs the girl and Jake comes out of the bushes with a gun. In the ensuing struggle, Jake fires the gun twice, killing Ray but accidentally hitting Alice as well. The new child is saved and Alice is finally released by death. The book is powerful and well written, but emotionally disturbing. Reviewer: Judy DaPolito
Alice has not always been Alice. Five years ago, Ray abducted her during an aquarium visit and everything changed. Now she is too old, and Ray is looking for a little girl - a new Alice - to take her place. Alice has found the perfect girl, but it may not mean the freedom for which Alice has been longing. Scott creates a heartbreaking and shattering novel that goes deep into a terrifying world without ever being lurid or gruesome. The horror of Alice's tale is in its matter-of-fact presentation. Ray's behaviors - as vile and deviant as there are - come with an eerily rational explanation. Even more disturbing is how little anyone around Alice and Ray sees, how willing they are to accept Ray's story that he is Alice's father and that she is homeschooled because of special needs. There are no happy endings here; readers learn the horrors Ray himself faced that shaped him into the monster he is, and they see in Alice how easily transformation can happen. Scott does a tremendous job of showing the pervasive sexual and physical abuse Alice suffers without being graphic. If anything the subtly of the descriptions is even more haunting than a detailed description would have been. This book is one of those rare novels that is difficult to read but impossible to put down and should not be missed. Reviewer: Vikki Terrile
Five years ago, Alice was abducted by Ray on a school field trip. Now, at the age of 15, she is still the victim of endless mental, physical, and sexual abuse. Her every move is controlled and watched by Ray, and even her food is rationed so her weight won't exceed 100 pounds. Her body is merely an empty shell, and her deepest desire is that death will claim her soon. Instead, Ray asks her to find him a new girl that both of them can train to love him and satisfy his cravings. Alice can't help but think that having a new love for Ray might provide solace and rest for her body, but would it be eternal? In searching for a young girl, Alice meets a boy who makes her think, for the first time ever, about escaping. Knowing that harm will come to her family if she were to try anything makes her hesitant. But when the opportunity arises, will she be able to break Ray's hold on her life in order to find freedom? The violence in this novel is graphic at times, but Scott's portrayal of an abducted child's experience and mindset is shockingly authentic. It will comfort YAs who have ever felt abandoned, alone, or trapped in any situation, while giving them hope for freedom that might seem impossible. Reviewer: Ashleigh Larsen
Gr 9 Up
The numb voice of a teen who has been devastated by five years of captivity and compliance, a girl who has been named "Alice" by her abductor, relates her grim story. At 15, she still believes the threat by which Ray controlled her when she was almost 10 and he walked her away from a school field trip: he's made it clear that if she bolts he will kill her family. The trauma of multiple rapes on a child is portrayed, as is Ray's ongoing need to control her and his daily, multiple demands for sexual submission. Now that she's a teen, Alice is being starved; his disordered logic tells him that this will keep her a little girl. His control over her is so absolute that, although she can leave his apartment during the day and goes on her own to have a wax job, her only rebellion is to steal small amounts of food. When Ray decides it is time for a new little girl, Alice complies by locating a likely next victim. In the process she meets a needy teen boy and a police officer, both of whom suspect she is in trouble and want to help her, but all does not end happily. This story lacks the vivid characters and psychological insights of Norma Fox Mazer's chilling The Missing Girl (HarperCollins, 2008). For an ultimately hopeful, but still realistic portrayal of a damaged survivor of abduction and sexual imprisonment, see Catherine Atkins's When Jeff Comes Home (Putnam, 1999)-Carolyn Lehman, Humboldt State University, Arcata, CA
Scott, best known for such chick-lit pleasers as Bloom (2008), breaks the mold with this harrowing tale of abuse leavened only by lyric writing a la Adam Rapp (33 Snowfish, 2003, etc.). When Alice was ten, Ray kidnapped her; five years later, Alice wishes only to escape by dying, as the last Alice did. But her freedom comes at a price-a new girl for Ray. Bit by bit, Alice reveals the depths of psychological and physical terror that hold her captive. Her voice is convincingly naive yet prematurely aged; vivid but never graphic, details of the sexual abuse perfectly capture the way in which she has normalized her situation while still recognizing the truth. Ray is a complex abuser, perhaps a bit too psychotic but terrifying nevertheless; he himself was abused, and the logic of how his own past has shaped his present and his treatment of Alice never falters. Choosing Ray's next victim does not provide a re-entry into empathy, a bold but believable choice. Scott provides neither easy answers nor a happy resolution, although the ending provides a grim sense of release. (Fiction. 16 & up)
Loading...Ask students to write down the definition of oxymoron. Then have them discuss possible meanings for the phrase "living dead." What inferences can they make from the title? What predictions can they make about the story? What kinds of experiences would make them -- or anyone -- feel "living dead"?
Discussion Questions
In the first three chapters, Alice's story moves from third-person point of view, to second, then to first. While most of the story is told from first-person point of view, what effect does the shift have on your responses to the story? Through which viewpoint do you feel most connected with the character? Why? What do you think Scott hoped to achieve in shifting the point of view? In what way does the shift contribute to the mood of the story?
Scott uses a literary technique known as "stream of consciousness." Alice's thoughts and memories are presented as they flow through her mind with no regard for logical order or sentence structure. Her thoughts are sometimes fragmented; they shift over time and space, and can be difficult to follow. Find passages in the text in which Alice's thoughts leap across time and space. Discuss what these scenes tell us about Alice. What effect does the stream of consciousness technique have on the reader? How does the use of stream of consciousness contribute to the overall story?
How would you describe Ray? What events in his life have made him who he is? Find passages that support your thoughts. What character(s) does he resemble from other literary works or films. What actors can you envision playing his role in a movie? Why?
Ray doesn't want Alice to grow up. He starves her tokeep her small and makes her wear little girls' clothing that is too small for a young adolescent girl. In what ways do you see Alice behaving childlike? In what ways is she mature? Would you call Alice naive? Why or why not?
How does Alice feel about herself? What does the phrase "living dead girl" mean to her? Who does she hold responsible for the life she lives and the person she has become?
How would you describe the relationship between Alice and Ray? Does he love her? Does she care for him? Find passages to support your thoughts.
Ray plans to abduct another child and sends Alice to the playground in search of a young girl. Alice finds "Annabel" and tells Ray about her. What does she think about Annabel and how does she feel about Ray kidnapping another child?
When Alice first meets Jake and accompanies him to his car, he recognizes Alice's detachment and is horrified. What does her lack of emotion suggest about who she has become? Why is she void of emotion? In what ways has she become like Ray?
Jake tries to help Alice in the end. Why do you think he did so? Why did he take a gun to the park instead of reporting his suspicions to the police?
A number of key phrases reoccur throughout the story. For example, the narrator frequently repeats the phrase, "Once upon a time." Find passages containing this phrase. Why does the author repeat the phrase? How does it influence your thoughts about Alice? What additional phrases are repeated? What effect do they have?
At one point when Ray is abusing Alice she thinks, "...the thing about hearts is that they always want to keep beating." What does this passage say about her resiliency and the way in which the story plays out in the end? Point to evidence that supports your thinking.
Many children today are abducted, abused, and held in captivity -- many are held for years like Alice, and when given opportunities to escape, they don't. Alice stays home alone and watches the soaps while Ray works; she goes out occasionally -- sometimes with Ray knowing; other times not. Why does she not leave? How does Ray hold her emotionally captive? Find passages that support your ideas.
Alice is disturbed that no one notices that something is terribly wrong with her life. How does the outside world play a part in Alice's plight? In your opinion, could society have helped save Alice? How?
Activities
Have students read a classical poem or short story that uses stream of consciousness and compare and contrast style and the overall effect and mood of the two pieces. Authors to consider include Katherine Anne Porter, Dorothy Richardson, James Joyce, Virginia Woolf, T. S. Eliot, and William Faulkner. After comparing and contrasting the two pieces, have students write a poem or short story using stream of consciousness.
Have students develop character maps of Alice and/or Ray and discuss them. Then have them create a character of their own by brainstorming character traits with a character map. Once they have developed their character, have them write a scene about that character from three perspectives: first-, second-, and third-person point of view. They may write the same scene from three different perspectives or write three separate scenes.
Invite a professional to your school who has experience in the area of child protection to speak to the class. You might invite a doctor, a social worker, a police officer, an attorney, or a child therapist. Have students prepare for the visit by developing a list of questions they would like to ask.
For five years, Kyla (a.k.a. Alice) lived a life of fear. From the age of ten until fifteen she missed many childhood experiences. Imagine you could give back some of the childhood experiences she missed. Collect symbols for five experiences and present those to the class. Write a brief narrative about one and why it is an important experience for a young girl. (Examples to consider are friendships, a father/daughter relationship, music, movies, girly things like clothes and cell phones.) This activity can also be presented via a PowerPoint presentation or iMovie.
Working in groups, have students research child protection laws in their community and tips for keeping children safe, and present a PowerPoint presentation to the class. Students may also share their presentations with after-school organizations such as the PTSA and academic and athletic booster clubs. Based on their research and presentations, students may develop pamphlets and brochures with tips for keeping children safe and helpful resources for dealing with a crisis. Students may seek funding to print the pamphlets and brochures from school clubs, community leaders and businesses, and religious organizations.
This reading group guide has been provided by Simon & Schuster for classroom, library, and reading group use. It may be reproduced in its entirety or excerpted for these purposes.
Prepared by Pam B. Cole, Professor of English Education & Literacy, Kennesaw State University, Kennesaw, GA.
Prereading Activity
Ask students to write down the definition of oxymoron. Then have them discuss possible meanings for the phrase "living dead." What inferences can they make from the title? What predictions can they make about the story? What kinds of experiences would make themor anyonefeel "living dead"?
Discussion Questions
In the first three chapters, Alice's story moves from third-person point of view, to second, then to first. While most of the story is told from first-person point of view, what effect does the shift have on your responses to the story? Through which viewpoint do you feel most connected with the character? Why? What do you think Scott hoped to achieve in shifting the point of view? In what way does the shift contribute to the mood of the story?
Scott uses a literary technique known as "stream of consciousness." Alice's thoughts and memories are presented as they flow through her mind with no regard for logical order or sentence structure. Her thoughts are sometimes fragmented; they shift over time and space, and can be difficult to follow. Find passages in the text in which Alice's thoughts leap across time and space. Discuss what these scenes tell us about Alice. What effect does the stream of consciousness technique have on the reader? How does the use of stream of consciousness contribute to the overall story?
How would you describe Ray? What events in his life have made him who he is? Find passages that support your thoughts. What character(s) does he resemble from other literary works or films. What actors can you envision playing his role in a movie? Why?
Ray doesn't want Alice to grow up. He starves her tokeep her small and makes her wear little girls' clothing that is too small for a young adolescent girl. In what ways do you see Alice behaving childlike? In what ways is she mature? Would you call Alice naive? Why or why not?
How does Alice feel about herself? What does the phrase "living dead girl" mean to her? Who does she hold responsible for the life she lives and the person she has become?
How would you describe the relationship between Alice and Ray? Does he love her? Does she care for him? Find passages to support your thoughts.
Ray plans to abduct another child and sends Alice to the playground in search of a young girl. Alice finds "Annabel" and tells Ray about her. What does she think about Annabel and how does she feel about Ray kidnapping another child?
When Alice first meets Jake and accompanies him to his car, he recognizes Alice's detachment and is horrified. What does her lack of emotion suggest about who she has become? Why is she void of emotion? In what ways has she become like Ray?
Jake tries to help Alice in the end. Why do you think he did so? Why did he take a gun to the park instead of reporting his suspicions to the police?
A number of key phrases reoccur throughout the story. For example, the narrator frequently repeats the phrase, "Once upon a time." Find passages containing this phrase. Why does the author repeat the phrase? How does it influence your thoughts about Alice? What additional phrases are repeated? What effect do they have?
At one point when Ray is abusing Alice she thinks, "...the thing about hearts is that they always want to keep beating." What does this passage say about her resiliency and the way in which the story plays out in the end? Point to evidence that supports your thinking.
Many children today are abducted, abused, and held in captivitymany are held for years like Alice, and when given opportunities to escape, they don't. Alice stays home alone and watches the soaps while Ray works; she goes out occasionallysometimes with Ray knowing; other times not. Why does she not leave? How does Ray hold her emotionally captive? Find passages that support your ideas.
Alice is disturbed that no one notices that something is terribly wrong with her life. How does the outside world play a part in Alice's plight? In your opinion, could society have helped save Alice? How?
Activities
Have students read a classical poem or short story that uses stream of consciousness and compare and contrast style and the overall effect and mood of the two pieces. Authors to consider include Katherine Anne Porter, Dorothy Richardson, James Joyce, Virginia Woolf, T. S. Eliot, and William Faulkner. After comparing and contrasting the two pieces, have students write a poem or short story using stream of consciousness.
Have students develop character maps of Alice and/or Ray and discuss them. Then have them create a character of their own by brainstorming character traits with a character map. Once they have developed their character, have them write a scene about that character from three perspectives: first-, second-, and third-person point of view. They may write the same scene from three different perspectives or write three separate scenes.
Invite a professional to your school who has experience in the area of child protection to speak to the class. You might invite a doctor, a social worker, a police officer, an attorney, or a child therapist. Have students prepare for the visit by developing a list of questions they would like to ask.
For five years, Kyla (a.k.a. Alice) lived a life of fear. From the age of ten until fifteen she missed many childhood experiences. Imagine you could give back some of the childhood experiences she missed. Collect symbols for five experiences and present those to the class. Write a brief narrative about one and why it is an important experience for a young girl. (Examples to consider are friendships, a father/daughter relationship, music, movies, girly things like clothes and cell phones.) This activity can also be presented via a PowerPoint presentation or iMovie.
Working in groups, have students research child protection laws in their community and tips for keeping children safe, and present a PowerPoint presentation to the class. Students may also share their presentations with after-school organizations such as the PTSA and academic and athletic booster clubs. Based on their research and presentations, students may develop pamphlets and brochures with tips for keeping children safe and helpful resources for dealing with a crisis. Students may seek funding to print the pamphlets and brochures from school clubs, community leaders and businesses, and religious organizations.
This reading group guide has been provided by Simon & Schuster for classroom, library, and reading group use. It may be reproduced in its entirety or excerpted for these purposes.
Prepared by Pam B. Cole, Professor of English Education & Literacy, Kennesaw State University, Kennesaw, GA.
This is how things look:
Shady Pines Apartments, four shabby buildings tucked off the road near the highway. Across from a strip mall with nail places and a cash-loan store that advertises on TV all the time. There's also a drugstore and tiny restaurants, every one opening and closing within months.
Shady Pines is nice enough, if it's all you can afford. The stairs are chipped but solid, the washing machines always work, and management picks up the trash once a week.
A few mothers sit outside their buildings, resting in fraying lawn chairs and talking over each other while their children run around, playing. One dog lies sleeping in the sun, twitching its tail when a child comes over and pats the top of its head before running away, giggling.
That man in the far building, the car guy, is outside, a pile of parts scattered on the black ooze of the parking lot around him. Car guy has been here since you moved in, but you never see him except for sunny weekends, when he works on his car.
Not that he ever drives it.
He's a strange one, that's for sure, living alone, always with that car, not really ever talking to anyone, but every place has one weirdo, and at least car guy cleans up after himself. He's almost obsessive about it.
Still, see how he sighs when that man, the one whose daughter is quiet and, sadly, a little slow, pulls into the space next to his? See how he watches the girl get out of the car? She's a skinny little thing, always hunching over a bit, like she's taller than she thinks she is. Homeschooled, of course, because of how she is, or so someone once told you when you were getting the mail, and there areno secrets around here, not with everyone living so close together.
She walks slowly across the lot, trailing behind her father, who waits patiently for her to get to the building door, holding it open even though he's carrying all the bags. She doesn't even say thank you, but what can you expect? Kids never know how good they have it.
Copyright © 2008 by Elizabeth Spencer
This is how things are:
Cold, from the grocery store, from the dairy aisle you walked down to pick up the yogurt, from the frozen-food aisle, its cases filled deep with frozen pizzas and ice cream in large round containers.
Cold, getting out of the truck, foot clinking over something metallic, piece of a car lying on the ground.
Don't stop to look.
Walk up the stairs, Ray's footsteps behind you. Listen to him pause, smiling at the one open apartment door, the Indian family on the second floor, always children running in and out, sometimes their TV turned up so loud at night Ray has to go down there and knock on the door, say please turn it down? Thank you so much.
"Was that guy in the parking lot looking at you?" Ray says when you walk into the apartment, as soon as the door thunks closed and he's turned the locks, one, two, three. Better safe than sorry, he always says.
Shake your head no, no. Even if he did look, it would never be at you.
No one ever really looks at you.
Ray puts the groceries away, yogurt in the fridge, his oatmeal in its individual packets in the cabinet above the sink. Five apples, one for each day when he comes home from work. Five TV dinners you'll heat up at night for him to eat unless he brings something home.
He comes over to the sofa. Holds out a glass of water so cold the sides are frosty, ice cubes clinking inside. You've pulled your skirt up to your waist, arms resting by your sides, palms up and open. Waiting.
"Good," he says, and lies on top of you. Heavy and pushing, always pushing. "Good girl, Alice."
Afterward, he will give you the water and a container of yogurt. He will sit with one hand curled around your knee. You will watch TV together. He will tell you how lucky you are.
"Yes," you will say. "I know I am."
Copyright © 2008 by Elizabeth Spencer
Once upon a time, I did not live in Shady Pines.
Once upon a time, my name was not Alice.
Once upon a time, I didn't know how lucky I was.
Copyright © 2008 by Elizabeth Spencer
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