Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side by Beth Fantaskey

From the Publisher

The undead can really screw up your senior year . . .

Marrying a vampire definitely doesn’t fit into Jessica Packwood’s senior year “get-a-life” plan. But then a bizarre (and incredibly hot) new exchange student named Lucius Vladescu shows up, claiming that Jessica is a Romanian vampire princess by birth—and he’s her long-lost fiancé. Armed with newfound confidence and a copy of Growing Up Undead: A Teen Vampire’s Guide to Dating, Health, and Emotions, Jessica makes a dramatic transition from average American teenager to glam European vampire princess. But when a devious cheerleader sets her sights on Lucius, Jess finds herself fighting to win back her wayward prince, stop a global vampire war—and save Lucius’s soul from eternal destruction.

Publishers Weekly

A romance involving a high school girl and a handsome vampire may sound a little too familiar, yet this first novel quickly bursts ahead of the pack of Twilight-wannabes. Down-to-earth mathlete Jessica Packwood is completely horrified when, a few months shy of her 18th birthday, a Romanian named Lucius Vladescu shows up on her doorstep, claiming that he and she are vampire royalty betrothed to each other since infancy-what's worse, her adoptive parents verify the betrothal story and explain that her birth parents identified themselves as vampires, too. Fantaskey makes this premise work by playing up its absurdities without laughing at them, endowing Jessica with a coolly ironic sensibility and Lucius with old-world snobberies that Jessica's girlfriends find irresistible. Jessica's laidback parents serve as foils for imperious Lucius ("Can I ever again be happy in our soaring Gothic castle after walking the halls of Woodrow Wilson High School, a literal ode to linoleum?" he asks sarcastically); a scene at a steakhouse where the vegan Packwoods meet the carnivorous Vladescus is first-rate comedy. The romance sizzles, the plot develops ingeniously and suspensefully, and the satire sings. Ages 14-up. (Feb.)

Children's Literature

The protagonist of this teenage novel is Jessica, a typical high school senior with researchers as parents, a best friend to confide in, and a crush on her cute neighbor. She narrates readers through her daily life and all the qualms that come along with it. On her first day of school, a tall, dark, and handsome stranger seems to be following Jessica around. This would not typically bother a teenage girl, but readers soon learn that Jessica is not, in fact, normal. The stranger, Lucius, has a secret for Jessica, one that her parents kept from her when they adopted her as a baby. Her identity crisis comes full circle when Lucius reveals himself as her betrothed, an act that her birth parents committed before their deaths. Jessica must make a drastic decision; does she continue her normal way of life in rural Pennsylvania, or follow this mysterious stranger back to Romania, her rightful home? Although the book seems to drag on until the last 25 pages or so, the sci-fi elements with a twist of romance will help capture and keep the reader's attention as Jessica continues on her journey. Reviewer: Meredith Strmac

VOYA

When Lucius Vladescu arrives to collect his long-lost, betrothed Romanian vampire princess, Anastasia Dragomir, he finds in her place American teen Jessica Packwood. Jessica is a mathlete and member of 4-H, raised by vegan, anthropologist parents who brought her to America. She knows very little about her birth parents and her brief life as Anastasia, and she likes it that way. What she does know is that she is certainly not an undead vampire princess, especially if it means being betrothed to the arrogant, overbearing, and dangerous Lucius. But Jessica finds that there is much at stake should the pact between the Vladescus and Dragomirs be broken; there is a vampire war brewing in Romania, and Lucius's very life may depend on Jessica's decision. Will she leave her "nice," rational life with her best friend Mindy and boyfriend Jake, or will she accept her destiny and ascend to the throne as Anastasia Dragomir? Fantaskey's novel is far more than a romantic fantasy. As Jessica wrestles with issues of identity, she must also grapple with her body's physical changes and her newfound sexuality. For answers, she turns to Growing Up Undead: A Teen Vampire's Guide to Dating, Health, and Emotions, a title that reveals vampirism as the novel's metaphor for coming-of-age. Jessica is a witty, spunky protagonist with authentic insecurities and inner conflicts. Reviewer: Courtney Huse Wika

School Library Journal

Gr 7 Up

Jessica Packwood is a normal teen attending Woodrow Wilson High School. Her mathematical nature has even given her a slightly geeky reputation, which is about to change with the arrival of Lucius Vladescu, who seems to be stalking her. She tells her mother about him and learns that she is really a Romanian vampire princess who has been betrothed to Lucius at birth. She knew she was adopted, but this revelation comes as a shock. It is this agreement that has kept rival vampire clans, the Dragomirs and the Vladescus, at an uneasy peace. If the marriage does not take place, war will ensue and threaten the ultimate destruction of Jessica's vampire family. To say that this is a lot for the teen to take in is an understatement. Lucius is gorgeous, old world, tender as well as arrogant, and very overprotective of her. However, she chooses to date Jake, a handsome but rather dull boy. But not all is as it seems in the vampire world, and as the story progresses, circumstances force Jessica and Lucius to take matters into their own hands; in doing so, they examine their true feelings about themselves, family, and duty. Fantaskey's fast-paced story is full of plot twists and turns that keep readers guessing until the very end. The story is highly entertaining with plenty of action, drama, romance, as well as self-discovery.-Donna Rosenblum, Floral Park Memorial High School, NY

Kirkus Reviews

Populated with thoroughly flat characters, this vampire romance, despite charming moments, makes Twilight look like a feminist handbook. Mathlete Jess doesn't like the creepy new student who calls her by her pre-adoptive name, Antanasia. Velvet-clad Lucien insists that he's a vampire prince, she's a vampire princess and they've been betrothed since birth. Jess's vegan anthropologist parents not only agree with Lucien, but invite him to move in. Though resistant at first, Jess becomes more reconciled to being nobility, especially as Lucien shows interest in local girls and starts avoiding Jess. She'll need Lucien to become a vampire, however; a female vampire can't come into her powers until she is bitten by a male vampire at puberty (the reverse, maddeningly enough, is not true). The more she thinks about vampirism, the less analytical Jess becomes, incredibly losing both the desire and the capacity to do math, skipping calculus and walking out of a Mathlete competition she's been training for years to win. It's OK, though, because she's wicked cute in her vampire mother's dress! For vampire-romance completists only. (Fantasy. 12-14)

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Chapter 1