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HOLIDAYS ON ICE collects six of David Sedaris' most profound Christmas stories into one slender volume perfect for use as a last-minute coaster or ice scraper. This drinking man's companion can be enjoyed by the warmth of a raging fire, the glow of a brilliantly decorated tree, or even the backseat of a van or police car. It should be read with your eyes, felt with your heart, and heard only when spoken to. It should, in short, behave much like a book. And, oh, what a book it is!
Author Biography: David Sedaris is the author of the books "Me Talk Pretty One Day," "Barrel Fever," and "Naked," and is a regular contributor to Public Radio International's "This American Life."
Christmas laughs old and new from the comedian who made his name with "The Santaland Diaries."
More Reviews and RecommendationsStarting with his deadpan, disarmingly funny pieces on NPR and continuing with his collections of short fiction and essays, David Sedaris is one of the best, sharpest humorists writing today. His quirky history and family are rich material, but he's also just as hilarious simply satirizing Christmas cards or mocking his own vices.
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July 07, 2008: Some of these stories are downright disturbing, but I enjoyed every one of them.
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June 02, 2008: Always entertaining and never a dull moment

Name:
David Sedaris
Also Known As:
David Raymond Sedaris (full name)
Current Home:
London, England
Date of Birth:
December 26, 1956
Place of Birth:
Johnson City, New York
Education:
B.F.A., School of the Art Institute of Chicago, 1987
Awards:
Thurber Prize, 2002; Time Humorist of the Year, 2001; Advocate Lambda Award, 2001
According to Time Out New York, "David Sedaris may be the funniest man alive." He's the sort of writer critics tend to describe not in terms of literary influences and trends, but in terms of what they choked on while reading his latest book. "I spewed a mouthful of pastrami across my desk," admitted Craig Seligman in his New York Times review of Naked.
Sedaris first drew national attention in 1992 with a stint on National Public Radio, on which he recounted his experiences as a Christmas elf at Macy's. He discussed "the code names for various posts, such as 'The Vomit Corner,' a mirrored wall near the Magic Tree" and confided that his response to "I'm going to have you fired" was the desire to lean over and say, "I'm going to have you killed." The radio pieces were such a hit that Sedaris, then working as a house cleaner, started getting offers to write movies, soap operas and Seinfeld episodes.
In subsequent appearances on NPR, Sedaris proved he wasn't just a velvet-clad flash in the pan; he's also wickedly funny on the subjects of smoking, speed, shoplifting and nervous tics. His work began appearing in magazines like Harper's and Mirabella, and his first book Barrel Fever, which included "SantaLand Diaries," was a bestseller. "These hilarious, lively and breathtakingly irreverent stories... made me laugh out loud more than anything I've read in years," wrote Francine Prose in the Washington Post Book World.
Since then, each successive Sedaris volume has zoomed to the top of the bestseller lists. In Naked, he recounts odd jobs like volunteering at a mental hospital, picking apples as a seasonal laborer and stripping woodwork for a Nazi sympathizer. The stocking stuffer-sized Holidays on Ice collects Sedaris' Christmas-themed work, including a fictional holiday newsletter from the homicidal stepmother of a 22-year-old Vietnamese immigrant ("She arrived in this house six weeks ago speaking only the words 'Daddy,' 'Shiny' and 'Five dollar now'. Quite a vocabulary!!!!!").
But Sedaris' best pieces often revolve around his childhood in North Carolina and his family of six siblings, including the brother who talks like a redneck gangsta rapper and the sister who, in a hilarious passage far too dirty to quote here, introduces him to the joys of the Internet. Sedaris' recent book Me Talk Pretty One Day describes, among other things, his efforts to learn French while helping his boyfriend fix up a Normandy farmhouse; he progresses "from speaking like an evil baby to speaking like a hillbilly. 'Is thems the thoughts of cows?' I'd ask the butcher, pointing to the calves' brains displayed in the front window."
Sedaris has been compared to American humorists such as Mark Twain, James Thurber and Dorothy Parker; Publisher's Weekly called him "Garrison Keillor's evil twin." Pretty heady stuff for a man who claims there are cats that weigh more than his IQ score. But as This American Life producer Ira Glass once pointed out, it would be wrong to think of Sedaris as "just a working Joe who happens to put out these perfectly constructed pieces of prose." Measured by his ability to turn his experiences into a sharply satirical, sidesplittingly funny form of art, David Sedaris is no less than a genius.
Sedaris got his start in radio after This American Life producer Ira Glass saw him perform at Club Lower Links in Chicago. In addition to his NPR commentaries, Sedaris now writes regularly for Esquire.
Sedaris's younger sister Amy is also a writer and performer; the two have collaborated on plays under the moniker "The Talent Family." Amy Sedaris has appeared onstage as a member of the Second City improv troupe and on Comedy Central in the series Strangers with Candy.
"If I weren't a writer, I'd be a taxidermist," Sedaris said in a chat on Barnes and Noble.com. According to the Boston Phoenix, his collection of stuffed dead animals includes a squirrel, two fruit bats, four Boston terriers and a baby ostrich.
What was the book that most influenced your life or your career as a writer -- and why?
I guess it would be Cathedral by Raymond Carver. His sentences are very simple and straightforward, and he made writing seem deceptively easy -- the kind of thing anyone could do if they put their mind to it.
What are your favorite books, and what makes them special to you?
What are some of your favorite films, and what makes them unforgettable to you?
It's hard for me to think in terms of favorites, and even harder to articulate why I liked something. I go to the movies at least five times a week, and after a while everything becomes a blur to me. The last thing to leave a noticeable impression was a revival of Hard Eight by Paul Thomas Anderson. I especially loved the scene where John C. Reilly explains his vendetta against matches.
What are your favorite kinds of books to give -- and get -- as gifts?
I like books on tape, and will listen to just about anything. My current favorites are the Agatha Christie Miss Marple novels read by Joan Hickson, and Allen Bennett's Talking Heads, which I listen to over and over.
Do you have any special writing rituals? For example, what do you have on your desk when you're writing?
I tend to just get up and go to work. In the afternoon, I eat lunch and go out, usually to the movies. At around eight I go back to my desk for an hour, and if I have a deadline I'll stay up late or work through the night. Aside from an ashtray, I don't keep anything special on or above my desk.
Many writers are hardly "overnight success" stories. How long did it take you to get where you are today? Any rejection slip horror stories or inspirational anecdotes?
I started writing when I was twenty, and my first book came out seventeen years later. At some point in between, while I was a student at The School of The Art Institute, my teacher, Jim McManus, suggested I send a batch of stories to his publisher, which at the time was Grove Press. I've never been very good at submitting things -- it feels pushy to me -- but at his urging I sent them a half dozen stories and received in return a very kind rejection letter.
After graduating, I started reading out loud. There used to be this little club in Chicago, Lower Links it was called, and my friends and I would often perform there. One night, Ira Glass heard me read, and he called a few years later asking if I would like to be on the radio. That pretty much changed everything for me, and after my first broadcast an editor from Little, Brown called asking if I had a book. I did, and they published it. I was 37 when Barrel Fever came out.
What tips or advice do you have for writers?
The only real advice you can give anyone is to keep writing. Eventually, hopefully, you'll be published in a small literary journal and can work your way up from there. I don't think pushiness helps at all. It's unbecoming and bespeaks a talent for self-promotion rather than for writing.
The Barnes & Noble Review
It's hard to describe David Sedaris to those who've never read him. Mixing autobiographical details with sharp sarcasm and social commentary, Sedaris can probably best be described as a '90s version of brilliant humorist Jean Shepherd (who did his own scathing take on the holiday season with the film A Christmas Story). Sedaris' essays and stories are at once hilarious, heartbreaking, and thought-provoking. His new anthology, Holidays on Ice, collects three previously released stories and essays and offers three brand-new ones; all revolve around Christmas.
"SantaLand Diaries," which originally appeared in "Barrel Fever," leads off the collection and may be Sedaris's best-known work. A laugh-out-loud-hysterical look at Sedaris's experiences working as an elf in SantaLand in Macy's, the story is a wickedly funny slicing-and-dicing of the holiday season and the good cheer that supposedly accompanies it. His dark humor is exactly what you need when you're getting sick of all the fuss about Christmas. Look how Sedaris handled this experience with a mother who was tiring of her son's relentless pestering:
The woman grabbed my arm and said, "You there, Elf, tell Riley here that if he doesn't start behaving immediately, then Santa's going to change his mind and bring him coal for Christmas." I said that Santa no longer traffics in coal. Instead, if you're bad he comes to your house and steals things. I told Riley that if he didn't behave himself, Santa was going to take away his TV and all his electrical appliances and leave him in the dark. "All your appliances,including the refrigerator. Your food is going to spoil and smell bad. It's going to be so cold and dark where you are. Man, Riley, are you ever going to suffer. You're going to wish you never heard the name Santa." The woman got a worried look on her face and said, "All right, that's enough." I said, "He's going to take your car and your furniture and all the towels and blankets and leave you with nothing." The mother said, "No, that's enough, really."
"Dinah, the Christmas Whore" is another semiautobiographical essay, reprinted from the author's popular Naked collection. Clearly "Dinah" has a little more social commentary to it than "SantaLand Diaries." With generous doses of sarcasm and hyperbole, Sedaris tells of the Christmas when he and his older sister rescued a prostitute from her abusive boyfriend and took her home to meet their family. Funny and effective.
One of the new pieces is sidesplittingly funny. In "Front Row Center with Thaddeus Bristol," a theater critic shreds several elementary school productions of those excruciatingly dull Christmas pageants we've all had to sit through at one time or another. In reviewing the Sacred Heart Elementary School's version of "The Story of the First Christmas," the critic notes the children's pathetic acting.
One could hardly blame them for their lack of vitality, as the stingy, uninspired script consists, not of springy dialogue, but rather of a deadening series of pronouncements. Mary to Joseph: "I am tired." Joseph to Mary: "We will rest here for the night." There's no fire, no give and take, and the audience soon grows weary of this passionless relationship.
The remaining three essays also provide good laughs. The essay "Based on a True Story" brilliantly skewers the television industry's eagerness to cash in on tragedy for the sake of high ratings. "Christmas Means Giving" pits two neighboring families against each other in a very public battle to the death for the title of Most Charitable Family. And "Season's Greetings to Our Friends and Family!!!" is an amusing, although overlong, look at an exceptionally bad year of a family expressed via a Christmas card.
Holidays on Ice is a small package, clocking in at only 123 pages. But Sedaris makes the most of those pages, and the compact size of the book makes it an ideal choice for a stocking stuffer. If you're tired of "The Night Before Christmas" and prefer something more along the lines of "A Very Manic-Depressive Charlie Brown Christmas," then Holidays on Ice is the best gift you could give yourself this year. Matt Schwartz
HOLIDAYS ON ICE collects six of David Sedaris' most profound Christmas stories into one slender volume perfect for use as a last-minute coaster or ice scraper. This drinking man's companion can be enjoyed by the warmth of a raging fire, the glow of a brilliantly decorated tree, or even the backseat of a van or police car. It should be read with your eyes, felt with your heart, and heard only when spoken to. It should, in short, behave much like a book. And, oh, what a book it is!
Author Biography: David Sedaris is the author of the books "Me Talk Pretty One Day," "Barrel Fever," and "Naked," and is a regular contributor to Public Radio International's "This American Life."
Christmas laughs old and new from the comedian who made his name with "The Santaland Diaries."
Christmas laughs old and new from the comedian who made his name with "The Santaland Diaries."
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Hear our exclusive audio interview with David Sedaris (14:31).
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