Healing a Teen's Grieving Heart: 100 Practical Ideas for Families, Friends and Caregivers by Alan D. Wolfelt

From the Publisher

A compassionate resource for friends, parents, relatives, teachers, volunteers, and caregivers, this series offers suggestions to help the grieving cope with the loss of a loved one. Often people do not know what to say, or what not to say, to someone they know who is mourning; this series teaches that the most important thing a person can do is listen, have compassion, be there for support, and do something helpful. Healing a Friend's Grieving Heart provides the fundamental principles of companioning a friend, from committing to contact the friend regularly to being mindful of the anniversary of the death. Addressed in Healing a Child's Grieving Heart and Healing a Teen's Grieving Heart is what to expect from different ages of grieving young people, and how to provide safe outlets for children and teens to express emotion. Included in each book are tested, sensitive ideas for "carpe diem" actions that people can take right this minute-while still remaining supportive and honoring the mourner's loss.

Author Biography: Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D., is an internationally known teacher, grief counselor, and author of Understanding Grief, Creating Meaningful Funeral Ceremonies, and The Journey Through Grief. He is director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition and faculty member at the University of Colorado Medical School's department of family medicine. He is the "Children and Grief" columnist for Bereavement magazine and has appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show, Larry King Live, and NBC's The Today Show. He lives in Fort Collins, Colorado.

VOYA

What kind of comfort can one offer a grieving teen? At this time in their lives, when independence is so fiercely held, how can one nurture them through the pain of irreversible loss? Wolfelt offers a hundred simple ways in each of these two books, one for teens and one for the adults in their lives. Both have an identical format; each page contains one suggestion, with some brief thoughts of illumination, such as "If you have a pet, let her comfort you." Wolfelt goes on to explain the strength of a pet's uncritical love, how one can talk and cry in front of a pet without restraint. Each book begins with an introduction explaining the difference between grief and mourning. Wolfelt then gives his Six Needs of Mourning. These are delivered as imperatives, with Wolfelt anticipating teen resistance and respectfully insisting that the mourning process be observed. Wolfelt has written other books for children and adults on mourning. The wonderful, healing suggestions he offers readily can help persons of any age, but each book focuses on the specific needs of the targeted age group. On a personal note, when these books were given to a friend whose thirteen year old son died in a car accident last summer, leaving behind a twin brother, she expressed that at last there was a book to help her son in practical ways. In these books, the teen's need to grow separately from adults and the conflicting need to take increased shelter from caring adults during a mourning period is well recognized. Wolfelt encourages adults to realize that teens are "still kids," and that they will sometimes need to behave more like brokenhearted children than aloof teenagers. It is important to accept this dichotomywhile continuing to honor the dignity of a teen's fragile maturity. The author gently reshapes misconceptions about what it means to be strong and "get on with your life." Although each journey through grief is unique, these books can ease more than a little pain and will give caring people effective tools for reaching out. Further Reading. VOYA CODES: 4Q 3P M J S (Better than most, marred only by occasional lapses; Will appeal with pushing; Middle School, defined as grades 6 to 8; Junior High, defined as grades 7 to 9; Senior High, defined as grades 10 to 12). 2001, Companion Press/Center for Loss and Life Transition, 128p, $11.95 Trade pb. Ages 12 to 18. Reviewer: Diane Masla SOURCE: VOYA, August 2001 (Vol. 24, No. 3)

KLIATT

This little book, written by a grief counselor who is the Director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition, will help many parents, grandparents, teachers and coaches to do something useful when teens grieve. There are 100 practical suggestions given here, with ideas on how to put them into effect. Some of the ideas are: respecting the teen's wish not to talk about the death; helping the teen choose a keepsake; asking to see photos; being the teen's advocate; and galvanizing the teen's support system. Being a good friend to a teen in need is a long-term commitment and sometimes we all need directions on how to go about it. This book will serve that purpose. Also available from Companion Press: Healing Your Grieving Heart For Teens: 100 Practical Ideas (2001, 128p, 22cm, 00-110524, isbn 1-879651-23-8, $11.95). KLIATT Codes: JSA—Recommended for junior and senior high school students, advanced students, and adults. 2001, Companion Press (3735 Broken Bow Rd. Fort Collins, CO 80526), 128p, 22cm, 00-192971, $11.95. Ages 13 to adult. Reviewer: Barbara Jo McKee; Libn/Media Dir. Streetsboro H.S. Stow, OH, May 2001 (Vol. 35 No. 3)

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