From Barnes & Noble

Bestselling author and pastor T.D. Jakes is back with this look at how Christian women can "face life's challenges and move beyond survival to become successful." Addressing the issue of women's self-esteem, Bishop Jakes shows women how they can conquer the obstacles in their way, recognize the Lord's calling and embrace the role He has in mind for them, and learn how they can inspire those who come after them.

From the Publisher

Bishop T.D. Jakes, the #1 bestselling author of The Lady, Her Lover, and Her Lord, offers women a plan for taking charge of their lives--and starring in the unique role God has chosen them to play in the world. Providing the inspiration and the tools women need to face life's challenges, he teaches them how to:

• Triumph in the face of adversity
• Recognize the Lord's calling
• Create a godly and successful legacy--that will inspire and influence generations to come

Publishers Weekly

In the tradition of Woman, Thou Art Loosed! and The Lady, Her Lover, and Her Lord, Bishop Jakes continues to uplift Christian women with this charge for them to step out of the shadows and take their positions onstage as God's leading ladies. The stage metaphor is carried throughout; Jakes encourages women to master the art of improvisation (to put aside pre-arranged scripts...and go with what works in the moment) and to transcend life's outtakes (embarrassing failures). The writing style is vintage Jakes: he poses rhetorical but energetic questions to the reader, shares personal examples from his own life and draws upon the models other women have provided for success. He profiles several biblical women who knew how to step into the limelight: Deborah, Jael, Mary the mother of Jesus, Ruth, Sarah, Tamar and Eve all get juicy roles in Jakes's production. He deals with some sticky biblical passages, arguing, for example, that the let-wives-be-subject-to-their-husbands verse in Ephesians has too often been taken out of context and used to suppress women and rob them of their voices. Jakes also points to modern-day leading ladies, such as radio magnate Cathy Hughes, television icon Oprah Winfrey and First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt as role models. Some of his self-help advice is cliched; readers are asked to decide, for example, whether their trials will make them bitter or better. Overall, however, Jakes offers a fresh and compassionate summons for women to recognize their divine worth. Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information.

Library Journal

Like Bishop Vashti M. McKenzie in Journey to the Well, Jakes tells women how they can restore their lives through belief. Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information.

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“An ex-cue says, ‘It’s too late, you’ll never find your place on stage now. You’re too old, too tired, too uneducated, too poor, too scared, too late. You need to accept reality and resign yourself to where you are. You can’t make it any better by pretending there’s some pie-in-the-sky around the next corner. And you sure don’t have the power to make it happen for yourself.’ I’m sure you’ve realized by now how much ‘ex-cue says’ sounds like ‘excuses.’ Because that’s exactly what they are, excuses standing in the way of exercising faith in action. Excuses are the lies of the Enemy binding you to the past, straitjacketing you into accepting a pale imitation of who God created you to be. It’s time to shed ex-cues and excuses and magnify what the Lord has planted in you: the seed to be His Leading Lady” (pp. 25-26).

Larger than Life “I believe God wants to use each of us in a way larger than our own lives. Like Mary, we must have faith in God and believe that through the Lord we can achieve so much more than we could ever accomplish on our own. Many women get so wrapped up in who they think they should be, not who they truly are. They feel pressure from their parents to pursue a certain career or a certain kind of boyfriend or husband. They feel pressure from the special man in their lives to look a certain way, dress a certain way, and act a certain way. There’s the pressure from their bosses and co-workers, even from their ministers and prayer partners, to be someone they may not be. These women wonder why they feel empty and detached from life. They have become mannequins dressed up in the showcase windows of other people’s department stories, not the leading lady on a stage of God’s greatness. Not only are they missing out on the authenticity of the woman inside them, they are likely missing out on what God has in store as well” (pp. 31-32).

The masks we hide behind “Some women stay behind a mask of what their families and pop culture dictate as successful and beautiful because the mask acts as a shield, protecting them from anyone getting too close. They have experienced so much hardship and anguish in life, and the mask is a defense, a façade that doesn’t reveal their vulnerability, their weakness, or the pain churning within their souls. Saddest of all are the women who remain behind their mask because they’ve long forgotten their true selves. They have spent so much time and energy creating and maintaining the illusion of who they are supposed to be, that they’ve lost sight of who they really are. They’ve suffocated their extraordinary personality and buried their unique beauty. They worry that if they stepped out from behind their mask, they wouldn’t know who else to be.

“Well I say to all these women-I say to all of you reading this book-the time has come to drop the mask. Stop doing the impersonations and take your mark at center stage fulfilling the role you were born to play. Do not forfeit who you are in pursuit of playing a role that was not designed for you. Be true to your character and boldly claim your place in the world. Leading ladies do not imitate, they create. Have you discovered the creative powers, forces, and instincts that exist inside of you? There are the energies that will build, equip, and empower you for your destined end. Today, let’s begin the challenging task of dropping our masks and discovering the power within” (pp. 35-36).

Allowing ourselves to bound by the limitations others set on the stage of our lives

“For women, the stage limitations have often, sadly enough, been imposed by men, either out of fear or insecurity in their own manhood or their misguided aggression and desire for control. Cultural traditions, both within and beyond the Church, have also bound women into socially accepted roles that often suppressed or ignored their multitude of talents, gifts, and offerings. While we have seen great strides made in the way our twenty-first century world greets and considers its women, some cul-de-sacs of sexism, racism, and self-righteousness still threaten to dead-end the dreams of women.

“So does this mean you should remain in the shadows because that’s where society has directed you? Should you wait in the wings hoping someday your cue to step forward will come? If you want to be a leading lady, you must take your place in the spotlight before life slips away” (p. 37).

What it takes to be a leading lady “To become a leading lady, you must raise the curtain and step forward. You must extend yourself beyond the self-imposed limits, external pressures, and patriarchal authoritarian control. You must strip away all traces of self-doubt and fear. Don’t let yourself get weighted down by crushing despair over the way things are and defenseless resignation to glass ceilings and kitchen confinement. It is your time to soar! You must begin by separating fact from fiction and realizing that our Lord created you in His image as a female for a distinct and sacred purpose. God is no respecter of gender distinctions when regarding His call to greatness-He calls and uses women and men with equal pleasure and glorification to Himself. I don’t think God stopped to consider whether or not Mother Teresa would be limited in caring for thousands of infected and dying outcasts (and inspiring countless others) because she was a woman. I don’t believe He paused to second-guess whether Harriet Tubman had the strength as a woman to lend hundreds of runaway slaves to freedom through the dark, treacherous outposts of the Underground Railroad” (pp.38-39).

A woman’s right to power… “Too often, women have been conditioned not to ask for what is rightfully theirs. Like greedy bullies on the playground, men have divvied up the goods among themselves, afraid of sharing their authority and riches with the female co-heirs in their lives. It’s only been in the last hundred years that women in our country have been given the right to vote, to own property, and to make their voices heard in government and in the Church. I say ‘given,’ but in reality it was taken by courageous women who refused to remain in the assigned, ‘appropriate’ roles. These renegade women who attracted controversy only a few decades ago are now upheld as heroes. Are you willing to lead the charge for generations of women to come?

“Our world still needs women who are willing to stand up as lighting rods for energizing those around them. Even today, with the dawn of a new century gleaming along the horizon of time before us, the Church continues to sidestep and suppress half the members of its body” (pp. 39-40).

…and their roles in the Church

“The issue surrounding women in the Church and what some have deemed as their silent support has largely been hypocritical. How can the woman keep silent if she sings in the choir? What kind of church will not allow a woman to speak the words that she just sang in a hymn? Is that true silence? How can a woman be able to influence the finances of ministry, leave an impact on the teaching curriculum, write lyrics and sing them, direct plays and implement their production, and then be told that her gender exempts her from speaking? In truth, her checkbook speaks, her choir robe speaks, her teaching and writing and typing are all methods of communication relative to speaking in today’s world” (p. 43).

“Looking back, it’s easier and clearer to see the mistakes we’ve made, either by passively allowing injustice to occur or by actively participating in an injustice. Our culture has evolved in tremendous ways for women in the twentieth and now into the twenty-first century. The Church is slowly waking up to these seismic shifts that recognize the vitality and unique power of its women. Sing out, sister, and refuse to be silent ever again!” (p. 45).

Being ready for the unexpected “…it is vital to your performance as a leading lady that you learn to engage with the reality of the moment instead of relying on tired old scripts of half-baked plans that don’t account for the unpredictability and ever-changing circumstances of life. This means reacting to the present and not obsessing over the scar-kissed wounds of the past or the unborn possibilities of the future. This means getting rid of your canned speeches and predictable plot lines and responding to the drama that is unfolding before you. This means releasing regret and the aborted opportunities from your past and maximizing the moments at hand. You must trust in the Lord enough to risk deviating from the script when necessary and leave yourself open to the joyful surprise of the unexpected” (pp. 58-59).

Finding a mentor “As a leading lady learns and grows into her role, it’s vital that she have an older, more mature role model from whom she can learn and whom she can emulate, someone who embodies the dignity, wisdom, and beauty befitting a queen who has been around the theater long enough to know hard times get better. Leading ladies often learn from their mothers how to grow into their womanhood and how to find their places on stage. Some young ladies may not have had loving mothers in their lives, or even maternal figures whom they respected, so they react against their mothers and feel contempt toward them through most of adolescence. Many women, however, learn that it’s often much easier to hear words of counsel and advice from older women whom they meet as adults. There’s not the same baggage and ‘I told you so’ attitude that these young women often perceive when they share with their moms. If you already have a mentor, then thank God for her presence in your life-run and call her and tell her how much her support and encouragement and faith in you mean. If you’re still searching for one, pray and ask your Father to send the right woman across your path. Look around you and see if there’s a wise woman who has escaped your notice, and ask her to lunch” (p.72).

Handling criticism “Criticism is a natural part of achieving greatness. It is often laced with jealousy and misjudgments. Any who criticize you have never been where you are and are never going where you will go. If you dare to be a woman who turns to the next page of her life, then you cannot let the critics rob you of your destiny. They will seduce you into living by their standards, only because misery so enjoys your company. Ignore your critics and step out of stage!” (p. 76).

Leading Ladies in pursuit of their savior “Mary Magdalene has traditionally been portrayed as a prostitute or kept women, a woman with a shady past tinged with the smoke of illicit passion. Regardless of her former life, her deliverance from seven demons at the hands of Christ informs us at the very least that her life was divided, dispossessed, and debilitated. …Mary Magdalene experienced a reunification of self that is essential for any woman attempting to find out who she really is beneath all the rotating roles, juggled responsibilities, and fragmented feelings. You don’t have to be demon-possessed to know what it feels like to be divided and at loose ends. Simply follow yourself around for a day and take note of the times when you’re merely going through the motions: preparing your family’s breakfast; ironing something last-minute for work; filing reports; sending emails; taking a call from a girlfriend with man problems; following up your parents’ Medicaid bills; picking up the kids at ball practice; stopping to shop for the homemade dinner you don’t have time to fix. Round and round you go. When will it stop? Nobody knows.

“Leading ladies may be forced to juggle many of these same items, but the difference is that they don’t lose themselves in them. They don’t feel the pressure to be everything to everybody. They don’t have the desperate need to live up to the others’ expectations in order to feel good about themselves. Down that path lies madness, not a method for fueling your one and only true role. Instead, leading ladies possess the calm, inner strength of a feminine identity forged in the image of their glorious Creator” (pp. 92-93).

Dealing with life’s mishaps “You must keep going no matter how terrible the mistake or how devastating the loss. Don’t stop and try to fix and analyze every glitch as it occurs. Such self-consciousness tends to lead to self-absorption, and when you’re only absorbing yourself and your mistakes, you lose sight of God’s larger stage for your life, and your others players under the lights. When you focus on yourself and your self-perceived imperfections, you get trapped in a dark miserable world where nothing is right and nothing is good. You lose sight of God’s great magnificence, the awesome light that shines through you and the rest of the world. You become so intent on what’s wrong and how you can fix it, that the rest of life just slips away. Don’t become paralyzed with a critical spirit, a perfectionism that’s unattainable, or a cynicism based on what you see from your limited view.

“I realize, dear lady, that this is hard to live out when you’re faced with the loss of your nephew atop the Twin Towers. It’s hard to keep the show going when you discover a lump in your breast and you’re awaiting test results. It’s painful to keep moving when your children don’t call or come home for the holidays, when your spouse rolls over with his back to you in a sullen stupor of detached disinterest in your relationship, when your unpaid bills and empty purses keep you awake at night. Realize that I’m not advocating denial-don’t pretend that these moments aren’t awkward, painful, anguished, or numbing. But don’t you dare believe for a moment, even in the midst of your darkest moments, that this is all there is. Don’t believe that you are alone on stage no matter how desolate and bare your life’s theater feels. Don’t accept that your life will be consumed by the ravenous jaws of this momentary affliction. ‘Count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing’” (James 1:2-4, NKJV) (pp. 110-111).

Fatal Attractions “Although celebrity stalkers are extreme examples of how people get fixated on another and imagine them to have life-changing powers, I believe this tendency is in all of us to some degree. We all, at some time and in some form, generate what I call fatal attractions. I am sure you remember the movie in which casual admiration turns into flirtatious attraction before crossing the line into a suspense thriller culminating with death and disgusting tragedy. Fatal attractions are the irresistible, magnetic relationships, often with people who are unavailable and inaccessible, that we invest with too much power and too much of our self-worth. Instead of simply admiring the talent, perseverance, and successful careers of these performs in the public’s spotlight, when you succumb to a fatal attraction, you are searching for an external source of your personal power” (p. 134).

“You don’t have to fixate on a particular celebrity to be considered a stalker. Many people stalk romance and the illusion of love in their lives by the way they dress, by the places they hang out, and by the company they keep. They find themselves desperate to keep up an ultra-sexy appearance, to be admitted to the exclusive clubs, to be seen with the beautiful ‘in crowd’ of the moment because they believe this gives them worth. These are still feeding into a fatal attraction and abdicating the responsibility every leading lady has for her own performance’s power source” (p. 135).

The Scarlet Letters of our lives “I believe the battle with the scarlet letters of life is not just about adultery. I believe it reflects every woman’s battle with self-esteem and self-worth. In my experience, I’ve found that most women don’t know their true worth. They judge themselves using unrealistic standards set by advertisers and fashion magazines. They believe they can never be smart enough, pretty enough, rich enough, successful enough, good enough. They are their own harshest critics, panning every performance, calling themselves up short. They have so little confidence in their ability to succeed that it often leads to a critical case of stage fright. Unwilling to risk a negative review, they stay out of the spotlight and remain in the wings” (p. 159).

“Are you aware of a scarlet letter on your dress? One that you’ve pasted there yourself. Maybe it’s the secret abuse that deformed your precious childhood and left you incapable of seeing your own beauty or appreciating your lost innocence. Perhaps it’s the shame you feel over your father’s abandonment and your mother’s addiction when you were growing up. Instead of braces and ballet lessons you suffered through the loneliness of your own tears and mothering your own momma instead of a baby doll. Maybe it’s the way you’ve gotten to where you are now: by lying on your resume, by typing the letters of recommendation from old bosses to embellish their original words, by sleeping with the manager who interviewed you. It could be the haunting images of being raped while on a date with someone you thought you could trust, the violation trapped like a fossil in the amber of your memory. Or it could be your past as a prostitute, prescription-pain killer addict, or promiscuous party girl. Some women have told me they feel like they could sew the entire scarlet alphabet on their clothes!

“We all have our mistakes and our sins that linger and surface in the otherwise placid shores of our minds. But once again, it’s how you deal with them that determines the effectiveness and quality of your performance as a leading lady” (p. 160).

Daring to dream “This book is written for women who dare to dream. It is written for women whose water has broken and who have dilated to the degree that God can deliver something bigger through them than they would have ever thought possible. I challenge you to allow your faith to reach beyond the many breaches in life and climb up walls of impossibility.

“Your dream is no more impossible than it was for a middle-aged housewife to build Mary Kay Cosmetics. Your dream is no more impossible than it was for a blind girl named Hellen Keller to lean to read Braille. Your dream is no more impossible than it was for a woman like Susan Taylor to transform a company with very few resources, a company started by men, into a multi-million dollar magazine empire called Essence. Who says dreams don’t come true?

“As a leading lady, you must dream big and trust Him to bring it to life. You must trust Him with your dream even after it’s born. Share it with others so that you may nurture and bless their dreams as well. You are never too old to give birth to your dreams. The story ain’t over ‘til it’s over. Like Sarah, you may become the mother of an entire nation of dreams and dreamers!” (p. 202).

The leading man “…a good relationship between a leading lady and her leading man should reflect the same kind of shared commitment to each other and to the excellence in life to which you are both called, separately and as a couple. While we have alluded in past chapters to the relationships that a leading lady has with the co-stars in her life, it seems imperative to address the primary relationship she has with her leading man and its implications. Your performance in your marriage has an effect on your pursuit of excellence in every other sector of your life. Conversely, whatever roles you fulfill outside of your matrimonial union will ultimately impact the bond you and your husband share” (p. 204).

Successful women “With more and more opportunities opening up for women, and with the need for dual incomes to sustain a household, it is not uncommon now for women to be in the workforce. However a new scenario that is emerging is one in which women achieve a higher level of success than their husbands. They may be in a field where they advance rapidly, they may have a higher level of education, they may make more money, and receive more acclaim. I congratulate and commend all women who have broken through the glass ceilings in corporate America or who have built their own businesses. Their hard work and talent should be rightfully rewarded, and it is about time women have received their due.

“But I am aware that this increased success comes with an increased potential for marital discord. It is important that a man and a woman complement each other and not compete with each other. If one or both partners in a marriage use career advancement and level of income as a measuring stick of contribution and importance in the relationship, then sadly that marriage is bound to be troubled” (pp. 208-209).

“Today…it is [often] the high-powered, highly compensated woman whose workload is carried in a briefcase and not in a laundry basket who is guilty of not dignifying her partner and his concerns. This situation can be double devastating if your man has a fragile ego. I’m not condoning it, but it is a truth that in our society a man is oftentimes defined by what he does and how much money he makes. A man whose self-esteem is tied to his paycheck may have a hard time swallowing the fact that his wife makes more money than he does. He may resent her success or lament what he perceives to be his own failure. He may consider himself an underachiever. Simply stated, he may be insecure about what he brings to the relationship” (pp. 209-210).

“…imbalances do not have to damage your relationship. As a leading lady you must simply maintain awareness of your responsibilities, commitments, and unique functions within each sector of your life. It is not a question of fragmenting yourself, separating your professional persona from your self “required” to operate in a domestic setting. No, we’ve already discussed the problems that can arise when you try to fill too many different roles and lose sight of your core self. What I’m talking about is recognizing what you are called to do in a particular situation. There are times when cost-control and increased productivity must take precedence in your mind, but there are also moments when bandaging a scraped knee or comforting the tired heart of your weary mate are the priority of the day” (p. 211).

Leaving a legacy “Regardless of your age-fifteen to ninety-five and in between-all women are aware of wanting their lives to count, of wanting to have an impact, to leave behind an offspring borne of dreams and the labor of her life’s energy. But still, many of us don’t consciously think about leaving a legacy for a couple of reasons. For one thing, we associate legacy with dying and no on really likes to spend much time thinking about their own demise. Similarly, we don’t consider the investment we are making in our legacy right now at this moment. Often, we assume that our legacy is something that will be revealed years and years from now, long after we’re gone. We feel as if we don’t really have any control over what we’ll leave behind us.

“But that’s the same kind of thinking that abdicates your decisions to other people and blames other events for your place in life. No, you are no victim, my sister, nor is your legacy some vague, distant surprise to be discovered at the bottom of a Cracker Jack box. Just as you pursue the calling of greatness on your life, so too do you pursue the investment in what you will leave behind” (pp. 229-230).

Read a Sample Chapter

God's Leading Lady

Out of the Shadows and into the Light

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By T.D. JAKES

G. P. PUTNAM'S SONS

Copyright © 2002 T. D. Jakes.
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 0-399-14883-3

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You never know when your time will come to take your place on a larger stage. Several years ago, I was invited to a conference commemorating the powerful events that happened at the turn of the century in Los Angeles, California, known as Azusa. This ministry phenomenon first started in 1906 when a number of Methodist bishops, led by a one-eyed black man named William J. Seymour, experienced a powerful revival at the small Apostolic Faith Mission located at 312 Azusa Street. They prayed together every single day for three years. Out of this fervency for God was born the Pentecostal movement as we know it. Since its dramatic yet humble beginning, the Azusa conference has become an annual time of celebrating and renewing the passionate fervor of God's Holy Spirit.

So I had been invited to Tulsa, Oklahoma, to celebrate the history-making power of God's Spirit working through Bishop Seymour and the others. It was my first Azusa conference, and I was so excited to see the diversity of people of all faiths and backgrounds gathered together in one concert of praise and worship. What an exhilarating experience it was for me! I was not a speaker, a singer, or on the program at all. I was just another face in the place. But what an excitement enveloped me as I sat in the crowd. That first night,amid the ten to twelve thousand people gathered in the auditorium, I took my seat high in the balcony, one man worshiping with the many, through the music, the preaching, the energy of the Body of Christ gathered to celebrate. Nobody knew who I was or why I was there, other than to share in the service as we were all doing.

The next night my friend Sarah Jordan Powell, the talented Gospel singer, invited me to sit with her and her family in the front row. The view was different, of course, being up close and up front near the stage. I could see the powerful muscles in a soloist's face and neck as she strained to hit the perfect high note of her song. I could see the beads of perspiration forming along the forehead of one of the gifted preachers as he read Scripture beneath the white-hot stage lights. I could sense the nervous energy of those about to speak, their anticipation at being used by God's Spirit to deliver His message to the waiting throngs of people.

One preacher's message, in particular, caught my attention that night. Richard Hinton, pastor of the Monument of Faith Church in Chicago, used a analogy that became a precursor for how the Lord was about to use and bless me and my ministry. Bishop Hinton introduced the metaphor of being onstage in a play or show and explained how performers had to take their places in the shadows backstage and in the wings long before the lights went up and their scenes began. These actors had to be fully prepared in a matter of seconds to recognize their cue, hit their mark, and give all they had to the hungry audience. These actors had to be in makeup and their appropriate costume already; they had to know where and when to cross the stage; they had to have memorized their lines long before this moment in the darkness, waiting. These performers know that they are next in line to walk onstage and share their talent with the eager crowd. They are willing to do all it takes to prepare for their time onstage.

Bishop Hinton used this analogy to convey how we must be ready when God turns up the lights on the stage of our lives and we are thrust into positions of leadership, ministry, and responsibility that challenge us to the very core of our being. Positions that we may not have even dreamed about on our own, stages that seem distant and lofty from our starting places. He insisted that we must focus on our present purpose, our place in serving the King's company, if we expect to be stretched and extended to our full potential as men and women of God when He raises the lights on our next stage. If we do our part of preparation in the day-to-day tasks requiring our attention, then God will increase our responsibilities and use us to our fullest, and then some. "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much" (Luke 16:10, NIV).

I discovered this truth for myself; so much can happen in the space of 365 days! The following year I returned to Azusa not as a spectator or worshiper from the pews but as the speaker on the closing night. Suddenly I was catapulted onstage, beneath the blinding lights, before thousands and thousands of faces. Yes, the butterflies in my stomach felt more like hummingbirds beating against my rib cage, but there was also something to steady my resolve. I had taken Hinton's message to heart. I had heard the Lord speak to me that night a year before. I had prepared to the best of my ability not just in the prior months but most of my life. You see, I believe that your successes and your failures help to shape your destiny. Both had worked as a team to develop the man who was to speak that night. Like partners under contract, all that I had won and all that I had lost labored together to define this one moment in my life. Was I ready to be seen onstage, to be heard echoing through the rafters where I had sat the year before, to be known in the naked vulnerability of one who puts himself before the Lord and His people? I wasn't sure. I didn't know. But often life will take you beyond ready answers and into the land of faith. And before my faith could reassure me, I was being introduced. But not just to the sizable audience there. I was being introduced to the next twenty years of my living. I was being introduced to the part of me that was waiting in the wings. Ready or not, here I come walking across the stage, taking on the challenge, and being thrust into the brightest blinding light my soul has ever known.

Shortly after I preached the closing night at Azusa, one opportunity after another began to fall into my path. Owners of the Trinity Broadcast Network contacted me about broadcasting my sermons. I had no cameras, no fancy church, and only a very small staff. All I had was a mandate from God, a burning sense of destiny, and a touch of real indigestion. Stage fright? Oh, yeah! But fright need not stop you when you have faith for that which you are afraid.

A little later I was able to acquire a spot on Black Entertainment Television. They, too, offered me a contract to broadcast my services. Speaking engagements emerged before larger and larger crowds of people. Days turned into years like pages blowing in an open book, and I found myself speaking before almost eighty thousand people at the Georgia Dome, breaking all records for attendance at the stadium. On September 17, 2001, I found myself on the cover of Time magazine. I tell you this not to boast or brag about anything I have done but to be willing to be who God made me. I was willing to take my place onstage, day in and day out, until the curtain went up and I found myself in the light of God's purpose. Ultimately, all that I went through was to prepare me to coach you.

The Potter's Shelf

For you see, this analogy of preparing to take your place onstage applies to you right now even as you're reading this. The message is not just to me and those in more public forms of ministry and leadership. It's not a message to those who already have it all together and want to be recognized for what they have done. No, it is a call to action wherever we are, especially for those God has brought through the wilderness to the Promised Land. I believe firmly that God prepares us for greater and greater opportunities if we are willing to trust Him and His timing in our lives. We must do our part and prepare with all our might, but then we must recognize the voice of His call as our cue to move onto the next stage of our lives.

So often we try to make it to a larger stage by ourselves. Our society tells us to "fake it till you make it." Well, I'm here to tell you that often we only stand in the way of something far greater than we could have ever staged ourselves. We must be willing to accept the leading role God has scripted just for us. We must be willing to transform our "acting" into an authentic performance that unleashes who we really are. May I tell you how much courage it takes to share who you really are? The fear of rejection is unbelievable. But remember, your strength is in your struggle, and your power is in your pain. So take a risk and come out of the shadows into the light.

How do you take those first steps? Another way of considering our preparation as we wait from cue to cue is to imagine the potter's shelf. If you've ever handled clay or even the Play-Doh that kids mold into every shape imaginable, you know how soft and pliant this material can be. It takes the shape of whoever handles it, and it conforms around the center of its gravity. That's why potters use revolving wheels with large hubs in the center around which to mold the clay. The moving hub provides the momentum to capitalize on the clay's submission to gravity. The potter's hands provide constant friction, the warm palms and fingers transforming the lifeless clay into a thing of beauty. After the clay has been shaped into a bowl, a vase, a cup, the potter sets it on his shelf until the piece can be fired in the kiln. The hot oven literally bakes the potter's work into the shape he has ordained for it, keeping the new form in place permanently instead of letting it shift back into a lump of clay.

Can you see how this compares to us taking our place onstage? God the Master Potter has been shaping and forming you through countless events and experiences. He has ordained your very being and set you in place for greatness. The Psalmist says that He has made us "a little lower than the angels" and crowned us with glory and honor (Psalm 8:5). Perhaps you can already feel the heat from the Refiner's fire casting you permanently into His shape, His likeness, into being His Leading Lady.

Or perhaps you are resisting the Potter's purpose for your life. You are trying to shape yourself and mold your own form into what you think will make you a beautiful and perfect vessel. Maybe you're wrapped around the wheel of a man, trying to conform and mold your life and personality around his. You know it's not working because he can't provide you with that inner security and cherished love that comes only from yourself and your Creator. Or maybe you're rolling the clay of your life around your family, giving all you've got to hold them together, to keep your kids out of a gang, your husband out of the bars. But the vessel you've formed is cracking under the pressure. Your heart and energy are leaking onto the floor and you can't catch yourself.

No, you must allow the Potter to mold you into the beautiful, intricate design that He has imagined for you before time began. You must be willing to move from the events of your past and even your present into the permanent shape that He wants to cast you in. You must move beyond the Potter's shelf into the fire of greatness.

Sabotaging Self-talk

PERHAPS YOU HAVE caught the vision for yourself and what you need to do to become one of God's Leading Ladies. But I know from experience that many of you reading this are shaking your heads and rolling your eyes in frustration. "Yes, I hear you, Bishop Jakes," you're saying, "but you don't understand all I'm dealing with right now. There's my job—somebody's got to pay the bills and keep food on the table. There's my man—who knows how much longer we're going to hold it together? There's my kids—I'm scared to death for what they're facing in the back alleyways and school hallways of their teenaged lives. No, it's well and fine for all those other women to get ready to take their place onstage. Not this girl."

Others of you may be brushing away silent tears of shame and guilt, and trying to push away painful images from your past that stir up old fears and future doubts. You're thinking to yourself, "No one with my past can take her place onstage. Not with the kind of abuse I've had to endure. Not with the kind of guilt I feel over what I've allowed myself to do and whom I've allowed myself to do it with. There's nothing here the Lord can use. I might as well stop reading now."

Or maybe you're the kind of woman reading this book who knows her time has come. You're successful, you're vibrant, you seem to have it all. On the surface you may read about taking your place onstage and say, "Great. I'm ready. Let's get on with the show." But below the surface, deep within your heart, you're thinking, "Oh no, not another pep talk about being the perfect woman. I'm so tired of trying to be perfect. All I need is one more expectation to live up to, another demand to drain what little strength I have left. That sounds so exhausting. And I can't dare let anyone see how weary and insecure I really feel."

I hear all of you. The woman who feels like her life is going under amid the harrowing circumstances of her family. Perhaps you have children in jail and you wonder what happened and ask yourself how you failed them. Maybe your husband is cheating on you and you feel torn as to whether or not you have somehow brought this on yourself. Maybe your parents are losing their bodies and their minds to the ravages of some terrible disease even as they grow to depend on you more each day. I hear you.

To you, I want to recall the words of Paul as he wrote to the Corinthians:

For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

2 Corinthians 4:17-18

You must realize that your present trouble is not going to last, but your role in the spiritual realm of God's kingdom is forever. You must see beyond the pain trying to blindside you. You are so much bigger than your present trials allow you to be.

Maybe the physical, sexual, and emotional abuse from the hands of someone you should have been able to trust has left you feeling powerless over your life. Or it could be your own addiction to alcohol, prescription drugs, or sexual promiscuity that has challenged your dreams and left you with nightmares. All of us face something—from overeating to overspending, from an unhealthy relationship with someone who is merely using you to an unhappy relationship with someone you are using. You may be ripped apart by the desire to love and obey your Lord even as you find yourself seducing a man at the bar or charging above your limit at the jewelry counter. It is a terrible feeling when you find yourself doing what you like but not liking what you do. "For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do" (Romans 7:15).

I hear you. And to you, dear sister, I want to recall the truth that Paul sent to the Corinthians just a few lines down from his words above: "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, she is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new" (2 Corinthians 5:17). I have personalized the pronoun reference in this verse—the original, which is usually rendered "he," is generic and inclusive to all of us—in order to make sure you know that you are a new woman in Christ, a new being created in God's image. We will come back to this truth in many of the examples of the women God uses as His Leading Ladies, but for now let this taste be a drop of honey on your soul, whetting your appetite for more of what is true about you.

I hope many of you reading this have overcome whatever painful baggage of the past once weighed you down. I hope many of you have taken the initiative to stop playing victim to life's blows and have taken a stand for yourself. It's so good and so necessary to stand up for ourselves, to hold our heads high with the dignity God intended for His beloved creations. And yet, too often, I see women who have stood up and overcome their pasts, as well as their present painful circumstances, become brittle perfectionists. They project themselves with perfect makeup and impeccable accessories, with careful words and direct authority. They seek to control every detail of their lives and the lives of those they love, and they're simply not up to the task.

(Continues...)

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Excerpted from God's Leading Lady by T.D. JAKES. Copyright © 2002 by T. D. Jakes. Excerpted by permission. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

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