| Acknowledgments | x |
| Preface | xi |
| Introduction | 1 |
| Step 1 | Recognizing Abusive Behavior | |
| Chapter 1 | Identifying Abuse | 8 |
| Patterns of Domination and Control | 9 |
| The Domestic Violence Cycle | 9 |
| Types of Abuse | 11 |
| Chapter 2 | Emotional Abuse | 13 |
| Patterns of Emotional Abuse | 14 |
| Emotional Abuse Inventory | 31 |
| Chapter 3 | Physical Abuse | 33 |
| Patterns of Physical Abuse | 33 |
| Physical Abuse Inventory | 35 |
| Chapter 4 | Sexual Abuse | 37 |
| Patterns of Sexual Abuse | 37 |
| Rape | 38 |
| Incest and Other Sexual Abuse of Children | 39 |
| Sexual Abuse Inventory | 41 |
| Chapter 5 | Social Abuse | 42 |
| Patterns of Social Abuse | 43 |
| Social Abuse Inventory | 43 |
| Chapter 6 | Financial Abuse | 45 |
| Patterns of Financial Abuse | 45 |
| Financial Abuse Inventory | 46 |
| Chapter 7 | Religious and Spiritual Abuse | 48 |
| Patterns of Spiritual Abuse | 48 |
| The Misuse of Religious Doctrine | 48 |
| Religious and Spiritual Abuse Inventory | 50 |
| Step 2 | Learning About Abusers and Victims | |
| Chapter 8 | Recognizing Abusers | 52 |
| Characteristics and Attitudes of Abusers | 53 |
| Female Abusers | 57 |
| Abuser Inventory | 58 |
| Chapter 9 | Recognizing Danger Signals | 60 |
| Indicators of Potentially Dangerous Behavior | 61 |
| Potential Danger Inventory | 63 |
| Chapter 10 | Victims of Abuse | 65 |
| Myths About Victims of Abuse | 65 |
| Why Victims Stay in or Return to Abusive Relationships | 67 |
| Victim Dependencies | 77 |
| Mutual Dependency | 82 |
| Examining Your Reasons for Staying in or Returning to an Abusive Relationship | 83 |
| Chapter 11 | Specific Victim Circumstances and Concerns | 87 |
| Abusers with Money, Influence, and Power | 87 |
| Cultural Concerns | 90 |
| Male Abuse Victims | 93 |
| Victims in Rural Areas | 94 |
| Same-Sex Partners | 97 |
| Victims with Disabilities | 99 |
| Abuse During Pregnancy | 100 |
| Chapter 12 | Abuse at Different Ages | 102 |
| Abuse of Children | 102 |
| Adolescents, Teenagers, and Dating Violence | 110 |
| Abuse of Seniors | 114 |
| Step 3 | Preparing for Emergencies | |
| Chapter 13 | Violent Crisis and Emergency Situations | 118 |
| Emergency Plans and Safety Plans | 118 |
| If You Leave Home During a Crisis | 122 |
| Remaining at Home | 124 |
| Taking Care of Children in a Crisis | 127 |
| Avoiding Child Abduction | 128 |
| Hostage Taking | 129 |
| Stalking | 130 |
| Chapter 14 | The Legal Process | 133 |
| Civil and Criminal Courts and Protective Orders | 134 |
| Protective Orders | 135 |
| Criminal Court Procedures | 142 |
| Victim-Related Court Concerns | 143 |
| Mediation | 144 |
| Court Advocates | 145 |
| Attorneys | 147 |
| Federal Laws and Civil Lawsuits | 148 |
| Step 4 | Getting Help After a Crisis | |
| Chapter 15 | Getting Help Immediately After a Crisis | 152 |
| Medical Attention and Evidence | 152 |
| Support from Family and Friends | 155 |
| Community Resources and Shelters | 157 |
| Chapter 16 | Getting Help for the Longer Term | 160 |
| From Victim to Survivor | 160 |
| Keeping Safe After a Crisis | 161 |
| Money Matters | 163 |
| Immigration Help | 164 |
| Work Issues | 164 |
| Transportation Issues | 167 |
| Step 5 | Making the Decision to Stay or Leave | |
| Chapter 17 | Evaluating Your Relationship | 170 |
| The Examination Process | 170 |
| Restricting Abuser Communication | 174 |
| Abuser Assessment | 175 |
| Effects on Children | 176 |
| Assessing the Impact on You | 177 |
| Examination Do's and Don'ts | 178 |
| Evaluation Questions for Victims of Abuse | 180 |
| Chapter 18 | Planning for Change | 182 |
| Forming Realistic Expectations | 182 |
| Building Alternatives to Abuse | 183 |
| Making Goals and Plans | 185 |
| Rebuilding Your Sense of Self | 186 |
| Establishing Nonabusive Boundaries | 187 |
| Chapter 19 | Taking Action | 191 |
| Taking Action | 192 |
| The Decision to Stay or to Leave | 198 |
| Step 6 | Learning to Heal and Rebuild | |
| Chapter 20 | Healing and Rebuilding | 206 |
| Grief and Abuse | 206 |
| After Grief | 211 |
| Healing Strategies | 213 |
| Long-Term Rebuilding and Restoration Strategies | 218 |
| Chapter 21 | Counseling After Abuse | 221 |
| Why Seek Counseling? | 221 |
| Choosing a Counselor | 223 |
| Programs for Abusers | 225 |
| Couples Counseling | 228 |
| Depression | 231 |
| Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) | 233 |
| Step 7 | Remaining Abuse-Free | |
| Chapter 22 | Precautions for Your Protection | 236 |
| General Safety Precautions | 236 |
| New Dates and Acquaintances | 239 |
| New Relationships | 240 |
| Precautions for Seniors | 240 |
| Rape Safeguards | 242 |
| Safeguards to Avoid Child Abduction | 243 |
| Chapter 23 | Maintaining Your Life Free from Abuse | 246 |
| Establish and Maintain Financial Security | 247 |
| Know Your Legal Rights | 249 |
| Maintain Healthy Personal Behaviors | 252 |
| Maintain Individual Interests and Relationships | 256 |
| Teach Your Children Nonabusive Behavior | 266 |
| Welcoming a Life Without Abuse | 269 |
| Appendix 1 | A Heritage of Violence | 270 |
| Appendix 2 | Collaborating in Your Community | 274 |
| Appendix 3 | A Victim's Bill of Rights | 276 |
| Resources | 277 |
| Notes | 280 |
