Everything Hurts by Bill Scheft

The Barnes & Noble Review

Phil Camp, the crabby protagonist of Bill Scheft's novel Everything Hurts, is a man in pain. "The pain had started nine months ago. Innocently enough. In his left gluteus," writes Scheft, erstwhile head writer for The Late Show with David Letterman. "That's right. Pain in the ass." Phil, a divorced former sportswriter who has accidentally remade himself as a self-help guru, spends his days (and nights) lying on a wrestling mat in his sprawling Manhattan apartment, writing a popular syndicated newspaper column based on his bestselling book Where Can I Stow My Baggage? He rises from time to time to limp to doctors and therapists. Nothing helps -- until a peculiar man in sandals hands him a dog-eared copy of The Power of "Ow!" How the Mind Gives the Body Pain, by one Dr. Samuel Abrun. Abrun's book -- which attributes most pain to "Acute Psychogenic Syndrome," or repressed rage -- launches Phil on a journey of self-discovery that leads him to revisit difficult childhood memories; forces him to confront his bitterly estranged half brother, conservative radio talk-show host Jim McManus; and delivers him a love interest, Dr. Samuel Abrun's smart, beautiful daughter, Janet. At times, Everything Hurts itself can be a bit painful: It's clear early on what needs to happen for the central conflict to be resolved, yet Scheft stretches it out nearly to the breaking point before wrapping it all up in an almost-too-pat package. What's more, Phil's conflict hinges on a memory that's hugely important to him but somewhat trivial to the reader. However, despite the book's flaws, Scheft's clever prose and quirky characters inject a good dose of wry humor into the proceedings -- just what the doctor ordered. --Amy Reiter

From the Publisher

A hilarious novel from a writer at The Late Show with David Letterman about a successful self-help author who goes through a midlife crisis.

Publishers Weekly

Letterman writer Scheft skewers physical and emotional pain with a mercilessly comic touch and a bit of poignancy. Phil Camp is an accidental guru who wrote a farcical self-help book under the name Marty Fleck as a joke-he swears-to pay off his divorce settlement. But years have passed, and people still read Fleck's advice as if it's the real thing. Phil, meanwhile, is limping into middle age with an excruciating, undiagnosable leg pain that his own self-help guru tells him is all in his head. Even while trying to lose the limp, woo his guru's daughter, pour out his troubles in absurd therapy sessions and confront the antagonism he has with his right-wing radio talk-show host half-brother, Phil maintains his ability to quip and deliver one-liners. But more important, his journey to avoid bodily discomfort leads him to some less corporeal truths about his life-and a reassessment of Marty Fleck. Despite the book's sometimes overly involved asides and flashbacks, Phil is a wonderful protagonist, and Scheft's biting wit coexists nicely with the undercurrent of uplift. (Apr.)

Kirkus Reviews

Retired sportswriter Phil Camp feels bad about his back. And his love life. And his family. And his childhood torments. Surprisingly, Scheft (Time Won't Let Me, 2005, etc.), a veteran writer for The Late Show With David Letterman, keeps Phil's story appealingly light. On a lark, Phil spent a few weeks writing a parody of self-help books; Where Do I Stow My Baggage? became a runaway bestseller thanks to the many readers who didn't think it was a joke. The book and the syndicated column it inspired, written under the nom de plume Marty Fleck, have left Camp financially comfortable but in pain everywhere else. His back aches, his ex-wife sabotaged his last serious relationship and his half-brother Jim McManus is a Limbaugh-like radio host who routinely takes on-air swipes at the insipidness of Fleck's insights. Shortly before Phil has back surgery, a stranger tips him off to The Power of "Ow!" by Dr. Samuel Abrun, who argues that physical pain is actually a mental problem. From there ensues a comedy of errors involving Abrun's bright, emotionally wounded daughter; warring misunderstandings between Phil and Jim; and a host of memories about childhood neglect and adult infidelity. To keep that last plot thread from becoming too mordant, Scheft applies a Woody Allen-ish tone. Phil is genial, self-deprecating and quick with an ironic wisecrack, but ready to lay himself emotionally bare as well. Like Allen, Scheft seems to know his way around the psychiatrist's couch; he has a keen sense of the emotional pathways of depression and of how therapy awkwardly leads people into and out of their worst experiences. A few beams are creaky: A subplot involving Derek Jeter doesn't quite work, and therelationship between Abrun and his daughter lacks the main story's depth. But Scheft's rendering of family dysfunction is consistently sturdy. Much like Phil's fictitious self-help book: meant as a gag, but with enough smarts to be taken seriously. Agent: Mary Evans/Mary Evans

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