Etiquette for Outlaws by Rob Cohen, David Wollock, David Wollock

From Barnes & Noble

Cohen and Wollock have penned an etiquette guide to all those who even wondered about the dos and don't of drive-bys, nipple-piercings, and spray painting, and the protocols of displaying strategically placed tattoos. Imagine Martha Stewart on very bad drugs.

From the Publisher

Curious to find out:

• what to wear to a Fetish Ball?
• the difference between "sticky green" and "backyard boogie?"
• which piercing has the worst pain factor?
• how to find the best bookie?

Find out the answers to these questions and many more as Etiquette for Outlaws teaches you how to live it up in style with tips on:

• Tattoos
• Graffiti
• Motorcycles
• Suicide
• Gambling
• Strip Clubs
• Alternative Sex
• Drinking
• Swinging
• Jailhouse Fighting
• Gangs
• Piercing

Publishers Weekly

"Never mind the salad fork, this is Etiquette for Outlaws," brought to you by the editors of the Los Angeles magazine Caffeine, Rob Cohen and David Wollock. Advising on badass behaviors from body piercing to fetish clubs to Harley protocol to getting in with "the professionals" rock star, porn star, dominatrix, gang-banger these hipsters, in a markedly unhip and risky moment of generosity, welcome readers into the cognoscenti. In a delightful blend of irony and gravitas, Cohen and Wollock reveal, at long last, the secret recipe and ingredients for cool. Photos. ( May) Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information.

Product Details

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Contents

Acknowledgments

Introduction

I - Traditional Vices (The Basics)

II - Sex

III - The Accessories

IV - The Lifestyle

V - The Professionals

VI - The Aftermath

VII - Travel

"There is only one rule for the formal table and that is that everything must be geometrically spaced … the places at equal distances … all utensils balanced … salad fork placed directly to the left of the plate."

-- Emily Post

Never mind the salad fork, this is Etiquette for Outlaws.

While most etiquette or manners guides concern themselves with where you place the silverware, or whether or not you should wear a tux before 5 P.M., Etiquette for Outlaws lays down the other, less talked about rules of various subcultures, sins and indulgences: where to place your first tattoo, or what to wear when you're attending a Fetish Ball. It's a rule book for rule breakers, a guide for the misguided. Emily Post never bothered to address topics like, say,the do's and don'ts of farting. As if her sh** don't stink. Light a match, baby!

Consider us friends, if you will, older brothers of sorts, bestowing upon you the benefit of our mischief.

In the following pages, we lay out the conventions and "unspoken" codes of conduct for drinking, smoking, boffing, moshing, gambling, ho-ing, stripping and other "ings," based on extensive hands-on research and interviews with cops, shrinks, doctors, jailers, nymphos, lawyers, lounge lizards, music scenesters, thugs, piercers, smut shop owners and carnivores.

In addition, various celebrities and recognized authorities have graciously agreed to relay personal pointers, peeves and anecdotes about their respective indulgences in a wide range of colorful sidebars found in each section. While not every sidebar specifically addresses rules of etiquette -- some are simply tangential musings -- they all serve to illuminate the basic philosophies and principles behind each subculture discussed.

We can't emphasize enough that this is not a "how-to," Preppie Handbook–style guide for outlaws and sinners. It is not designed to transform you into a badass or a sex machine. Some of the rules outlined in the following pages will no doubt apply to you. Others will only apply to "them" -- gang-bangers, porn stars, rock stars -- providing an insider's peek into some very exclusive groups and clubs. Think of yourself as an honorary member, but don't expect to try all of it at home.

Finally, we want to add that you need not read this book cover to cover. It's designed to help everyone, from the naive beginner to the hard-core sinner, and some of the chapters, particularly "Traditional Vices (The Basics)" covered up front, may seem tame, even pedestrian, to some. Feel free to skip around.

That said, pick a sin, locate it in the index at the back of the book, and dive into all the manners Miss Manners simply missed.

EFO will show her and all the other etiquette experts exactly where to put the salad fork.