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Since the first edition in 1973, Bridges Not Walls has examined the power and promise of interpersonal communication in intimate relationships, families, communities, and cultures. The text presents a broad range of scholarly and popular articles drawn from several disciplines, including communication, psychology, and philosophy, all chosen for their understandability and practical applicability. Within these readings are thought-provoking discussions of interpersonal contact, identity-management, verbal and nonverbal cues, perception, listening, assertiveness and self-disclosure, family communication, intimacy and social support, defensiveness and hurtful communication, conflict management, culture, and dialogue. Together, the readings emphasize the social and relational elements of human communication, the overlapping influence of verbal and nonverbal cues, the prominence of culture, and the close connection between quality of communication and quality of life.
John Stewart is Professor of Speech Communication at the University of Washington and director of the basic interpersonal communication course. His other text is Bridges Not Walls
| Ch. 1 | Introduction to the editor and to this book | 3 |
| Ch. 2 | Defining communication and interpersonal communication | 14 |
| Communicating and interpersonal communicating | 16 | |
| On communication | 43 | |
| Toward study of the consequentiality (not consequences) of communication | 47 | |
| Fierce conversations | 49 | |
| The communication panacea | 57 | |
| Ch. 3 | Defining ourselves as communicators | 62 |
| Constructing identities | 64 | |
| The rudiments of social intelligence | 76 | |
| Meaning and values | 85 | |
| Maintaining the self in communication | 95 | |
| Hispanic | 110 | |
| Ch. 4 | Making contact verbally and nonverbally | 114 |
| Verbal and nonverbal dimensions of talk | 115 | |
| Paying attention to words | 141 | |
| Nonverbal communication : basic perspectives | 148 | |
| Functions of nonverbal behavior | 164 | |
| Ch. 5 | Understanding and listening : communication as inhaling | 175 |
| Interpretive competence : how we perceive individuals, relationships, and social events | 177 | |
| It's only skin deep : stereotyping and totalizing others | 191 | |
| What is listening? | 198 | |
| Being a good listener | 205 | |
| Above all, just listen | 213 | |
| Empathic and dialogic listening | 219 | |
| Ch. 6 | Engaging others : communication as exhaling | 238 |
| Being open with and to other people | 240 | |
| Expressing | 249 | |
| Putting feelings into words | 261 | |
| What to tell : deciding when, how, and what to self-disclose | 268 | |
| Confronting emotional abuse | 276 | |
| Ch. 7 | Communicating with family and friends | 287 |
| Working with what we've got : the strengths and vulnerabilities of today's families | 289 | |
| Intimacy and closeness within families | 309 | |
| Our friends, ourselves | 327 | |
| In search of an ethics of personal relationships | 341 | |
| Ch. 8 | Communicating with intimate partners | 352 |
| Intimate relationships | 354 | |
| Moving beyond sex and gender stereotypes | 366 | |
| Gendered standpoints on personal relationships | 377 | |
| Staying close when apart : intimacy and meaning in long-distance dating relationships | 385 | |
| Romance in cyberspace : understanding online attraction | 392 | |
| Ch. 9 | Recognizing communication walls | 403 |
| Deception, betrayal, and aggression | 405 | |
| Messages that hurt | 417 | |
| Patterns of interactional confirmation and disconfirmation | 429 | |
| The 48 laws of power | 440 | |
| Power : the structure of conflict | 452 | |
| Children and verbal abuse | 466 | |
| Ch. 10 | Managing conflict by turning walls into bridges | 473 |
| Conflict and interaction | 475 | |
| Communication spirals, paradoxes, and conundrums | 489 | |
| Taking responsibility without blaming | 505 | |
| Handling the break-up of relationships | 514 | |
| How to resolve issues unmemorably | 523 | |
| Conflict transformation | 533 | |
| Ch. 11 | Bridging cultural differences | 541 |
| Building relationships with diverse others | 543 | |
| The same and different : crossing boundaries of color, culture, sexual preference, disability, and age | 556 | |
| There's a white man in my bed : scenes from an interracial marriage | 573 | |
| When black women talk with white women : why dialogues are difficult | 581 | |
| Ch. 12 | Promoting dialogue | 590 |
| The roots of debate in education and the hope of dialogue | 592 | |
| Relational responsibility and dialogue | 600 | |
| A conversation with a center, not sides | 606 | |
| Dialogue's basic tension | 613 | |
| Skillful discussion : protocols for reaching a decision - mindfully | 623 | |
| Ch. 13 | A teacher's approach | 635 |
| Every student teaches and every teacher learns : the reciprocal gift of discussion teaching | 637 | |
| Ch. 14 | A counselor's approach | 656 |
| Experiences in communication | 658 | |
| Ch. 15 | A spiritual approach | 666 |
| Leading from within : out of the shadow, into the light | 668 | |
| Ch. 16 | A philosopher's approach | 679 |
| Elements of the interhuman | 684 |
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