Attachment, Play, And Authenticity by Steven Tuber

Vivid, poetic, practical, & wiseby Anonymous

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July 22, 2009: As a beginning therapist, I found this book to be one of the most wise and provocative resources I have come across, both as a source of clinical guidance for working with children and adults and as an intellectual work that infuses familiar theory with surprising new resonance.

The author's close readings and vivid explications of Winnicott's ideas are organized around a number of core paradoxes - for example, the need to be found and the need to remain hidden; the need for relatedness and the need for a private, spontaneous self; the role of both love and hate in becoming 'real.' The book is then devoted to animating and 'playing with' these paradoxes, and to illustrating the startling creativity with which, given the right conditions, each person can negotiate these tensions with playfulness and authenticity.

In addition to its clinical usefulness for therapists, this book is a joy to read, a lively meditation on what it's like to be a person, and a wonderful example of the ideals of creativity and play that it describes.

Amazing book by first-rate scholar and clinicianby Anonymous

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May 18, 2008: Steven Tuber is Professor of Psychology and Past Director, Doctoral Program in Clinical Psychology of the City University of New York at City College. His new book on Winnicott?s work will be of great interest to play therapists. Of particular interest to play therapists is his Chapter 8, ?The Meaning and Power of Play.? Tuber states on page 119, that Winnicott ?believes that the ability to play is the benchmark for the entrance into a life of health and vitality.? Tuber explains Winnicott?s notion of the duality of play, ?It is the milieu in which the baby discovers her True and hence utterly private self and yet the means by which she engages others and develops support? (p.122). Another important Winnicott concept of play is ?Playing thereby allows the child to consistently work on the boundary between illusory omnipotence and helplessness and thus has at its essence the quest for mastery over the inner and outer chaotic (that is, not yet understood) aspects of its experience? (p. 123). Tuber cites an essential characteristic of play in general emphasized by Winnicott, but in play therapy this quest for mastery over the inner and outer worlds, creating cohesive play and later verbal narratives out of the bewildering experiences of a young child is a quintessential task. Tuber also explains that play is about repetition play themes are endlessly repeated. This redundancy is most valuable to the play therapist because if we miss something the first or second time around, chances are it will come around again. This, however, poses a challenge to the parent, especially the mother who is typically the primary caretaker because she must attempt to maintain a ?good enough? connection with the child in the face of boring, repetitions of play themes that may after a point become mind-numbing boring. Ending these play sequences often as a result of necessity involves as Tuber explains the ?good-enough? mother learning to help the child make a difficult transition. Among many clinically astute and remarkable insights expressed by Tuber in this outstanding book is his comparison to the role of a child therapist in ending a play session. He states, ?It makes me think immediately of what it is like to be a child therapist when the patient doesn?t want to leave at the end of the session. These moments speak to how difficult it is to end the magic of play, to end the magic of relating, and for children who have had parents who have been experienced as unreliable, how frightening and/or depriving it is to end the therapy session. These children expect that the ending of the session will also not be reliably done, such that they won?t get back to the pleasure of playing and the pleasure of relating? (p.124). Tuber goes on to explain that not wanting to end the session is a sign of hope in child therapy because it represents a wish in Winnicott?s term of continuing the ?good object? and a fear that the ?good object? will not come back. Although the ?good object? is viewed as unreliable there nevertheless is implied both the wish and capacity for relatedness. Tuber beautifully expands on Winnicott?s concept of a holding environment and its crucial importance in the creation of the True self. But the very process of creating a true and separate self presents the young human with the ever present prospect of aloneness. Tuber eloquently elaborates on this point, ?The capacity to be alone thus implies the need for relatedness. To the extent that...