Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today's Parents by Deborah D. Gray

Publishers Weekly

Gray, a clinical social worker specializing in attachment, grief and trauma, has penned a comprehensive guidebook for adoptive parents, taking an in-depth look at how children and families adjust. The author notes that many of today's adoptions involve older children who may have been abused or neglected, or who may have spent years in institutions or various foster situations; due to their past experiences these children may have difficulty attaching to their adoptive parents. Explaining that attachment forms the template for future adult relationships, Gray stresses how important it is for adoptive parents to be patient in forging this new bond. She advises creating a high structure/ high nurture environment for the child, and instructs parents to find out about their child's background. The book covers many issues, including cross-cultural and interracial adoption, religious concerns and other complications for attaching, such as ADHD and learning disabilities. Gray also includes a detailed exploration of developmental delays common in kids who have been adopted later in life. While the book is densely written, it will nevertheless be invaluable for adoptive parents. Gray compassionately helps readers form realistic expectations, while offering a myriad of suggestions for families and children striving to form lasting, loving relationships. (May) Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information.

Paula Kaplan-Reiss - Alan Review

As a psychologist who works with parents of adoptive children, I found this non-fiction book on the sum and substance behind the rule and regulations of today's adoption process to be particularly affective. And often in adoption, the toughest issue is "proper attachment," — or the matching of a child with adoptive parents. Along with smart explanations of such challenges as self-esteem, childhood, grief, and limit-testing, this good book contains an abundant of resources on attachment-related situations. Included are personal vignettes of children and their adoptive families, guaranteed to convince kids of all backgrounds that their stories of coming into new adoptive families are not new or unique. Attaching in Adoption zeroes in on children of special needs, adoptive foster families, adopting older parents, and children and parents of many cultures. This book is straightforward, easy to read, and perfect for youngsters and counselors wanting reaffirmation that their lives are similar to many others. 2002, Perspective Press, 392 pp.,

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